Dreary Washington Post media critic Howard "Conventional Wisdom In a Shirt" Kurtz has managed to write a profile of New York magazine that is clueless even by "Howard Kurtz explains NYC" standards. Let's get right into it, okay?

Washington Post columnist Anne Applebaum is A) married to a high-ranking Polish politician, and B) critical of Russia's shady government, which makes it—in the most general way—kind of alarming that her car blew up yesterday. [Update: She's okay!]

World leaders are meeting in Copenhagen to try and curb global warming. The tabloids are doubtless checking to see if Tiger Woods has a mistress there — because he apparently has them everywhere else.

• Rolling Stone is opening a theme restaurant in LA, believe it or not. [LAT]
• The first issue of Bloomberg BusinessWeek hit newsstands today. [NYO]
• MTV's Jersey Shore is off to a very solid start, not surprisingly. [Wrap]
• Entourage has two more seasons left, and then a movie will follow. [THR]
• The NBC-Comcast deal turned into comedy fodder for Conan this week. [NYT]
• Editors at Golf Digest are a bit embarrassed. The headline on the cover of the January issue: "The Top 10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger." [NYP]
• The new issue of Vogue Italia is totally dedicated to Twitter. [R29, TC]
• Tom Brokaw and his wife were almost killed in a car crash today, but escaped unharmed. A woman in another car died in the incident. [NYP]

In your ferocious Friday media column: A reporter brings a gun to cover Obama, more NYT layoffs coming soon, the Dallas Morning News would like your continued patronage, and plagiarist plagiarizes.

Page Six has hired longtime WWD media reporter Stephanie Smith to replace the departed Corynne Steindler, we hear from good sources. Congrats to Stephanie for landing a new media job, America's rarest commodity. [Pic: Rachel Sklar]

You are frustrating us a lot, Ashley Dupre. We tried and tried and tried (and tried!) to tell you that the New York Post is not your friend. But here you are, exchanging text messages with them. They print those!

The troops will probably be long gone from Afghanistan before the last Vegas lady cashes her Tiger Woods experience in with the tabloids. Who will run the story as long as there are pretty faces to put on covers.

Pretty much anything Bono or Sean Penn write is a festival of crap that would never be tolerated from another contributor. Even James Franco sounds like a moron in today's Wall Street Journal. Here's why:

• ABC has offered George Stephanopoulos the job of Good Morning America co-host and "intensive negotiations" are now reportedly underway. [WP]
• More on how the deal to hand over control of NBC to Comcast came together; and more on how the deal will be viewed by regulators in Washington.
• Oprah won't be hosting her own show when her cable network debuts in 2011, but she will have a "significant presence" on OWN, reportedly. [NYP]
• The magazine graveyard: National Geographic Adventure is no more. [NYT
• Cuts: Thomson Reuters is laying off 240; Daily Candy is shutting down seven of its 12 editions and laying off half a dozen; and ALM is shuttering four titles.
• Town & Country is planning to sex up the magazine, apparently. [WWD]
• An unnamed former Forbes staffer is writing a tell-all about the mag. [DF]
• Lou Dobbs is a nasty, evil man. But you probably knew that. [TDB]
• Someone is paying "at least $100 million" for Friendster? [Reuters]
• This year's Grammy nominations were announced this morning. [LAT]

In your terrible Thursday media column: Another print magazine dies, rumors of layoffs at ALM, the Dallas Morning News goes straight to journalism hell, and Town & Country is now officially sexy.

It's a done deal: NBC has a new corporate overlord. So how did it go down?

If you like Afghanistan, golf or money (and pretty much everyone likes one of those things) today is a good day on the front pages for you. If you are Tiger Woods however, it's best that you read a book.

• Rupert Murdoch is hoping to give the Times a run for its money. The mogul plans to put $15 million into the NYC edition of the Wall Street Journal. [NYO]
• ABC still hasn't said who's replacing Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America, which has led to some "puzzlement and frustration" among staffers. [LAT]
• Why is Comcast planning to keep Jeff Zucker on as NBC Universal's CEO after it takes control of the company? There are no easy explanations, alas. [NYT]
• The Times may "prune" its collection of 70 blogs to cut expenses. [NYO]
• Sam Zell has stepped down as CEO of Tribune; he'll remain chairman. [NYT]
• The lineup for Sundance 2010 was announced today. [Vulture, NYT]
• Tiger Woods' spicy extracurricular activities would have come out two years ago if the National Enquirer hadn't cut a deal with the golfer. Allegedly. [NYP]

In your well-balanced Wednesday media column: NPR totally has Justinmania, Rob Shuter gets a new job, predictable Newseum layoffs, and Rupert Murdoch would like to teach the Arabs a thing or two.

Laying off as many as one in four Forbes writers and editors a few weeks ago hasn't been enough to stanch the flow of red ink, it seems. The magazine is now reportedly close to selling its historic headquarters on lower Fifth Avenue for $55 million, which is nearly a third of what it was hoping to get for the building two years ago. [NYP]
Update: Forbes is now denying the report in today's Post.

Rupert Murdoch is simply a man who likes to fight. End of the psychological profile! He has big plans to fight the New York Times. He has big plans to fight Google. And he could win both.

Who is the big winner in this Salacious Tiger Woods Sex Scandal? Self-promoting pansexual former gay magazine editor Neal Boulton.

The President gave some speech about troops in some country. But mainly the Post kills it on the Tiger Woods story. There are puns galore: birdies, sex drive, paws. To steal their line, they're all coming out of the Woodswork!

Thinking about taking a buyout, or leaving your media job to pursue your organic restaurant/piano teacher dreams? Read this depressing survey of 75 ex-Los Angeles Times journalists first. It's not pretty. Only 11 have landed full-time jobs!