In your wintry Wednesday media column: More and more and more Dana Milbank, short is good, freelancing sucks, and just let the NYT sell its ads, you ungrateful bastards.

Declarative PBS host and multimedia phenomenon Tavis Smiley is ending his "State of the Black Union" conference after ten years, because he needs time for other projects like—seriously—publishing R. Kelly's memoirs. Post-racial world, you're a wondrous place! [AP]

Conde Nast CEO Chuck Townsend is meeting personally this month with shell-shocked staffers at the company's various magazines for what is described as "a rah-rah speech" with "lots of charts and graphs." Everybody, "Conde rules" on one! [NYO]

As we heard yesterday, In Touch editor Richard Spencer did indeed quit abruptly Monday. Keith Kelly says that Spencer walked out with no warning while the mag was on deadline, apparently irked at his paltry salary.

Former NBC News reporter Irving R. Levine, who died last year, was a hilariously nerdy TV presence: A soft-spoken, bow-tied mensch. So it's surprising to learn, via declassified FBI files, that he deftly parried KGB attempts to blackmail him.

• Prepare to enter the third dimension. ESPN plans to launch a 3D channel in June. And Discovery, Imax and Sony are teaming up on a 3D channel, too.
• Has Kathy Griffin been banned from CNN following her risqué performance alongside Anderson Cooper on New Year's Eve? Maybe yes, maybe no.
• Newsday is cutting pay and vacations for 1,100 of its employees. [NYP]
• Apple's buzzed-about tablet device comes out in March. [WSJ]
• Google's buzzed-about mobile phone/iPhone ripoff debuted today. [BN]
• You'll be relieved to hear that the New York Times has no plans to follow in Kim Kardashian's footsteps and begin sticking ads in its tweets. [AdAge]
• Coming soon: Publicist Kelly Cutrone's TV show and self-help book. [WWD]
• Nielsen closed Kirkus Reviews last week, but it may now have a savior. [NYT]
• Conveyor of Love, the new reality show on ABC that combines dating and the latest in baggage handling technology, is off to a solid start. [Wrap]
• Will Avatar turn out to be the biggest movie ever? Maybe! [MTV]

In your icy Tuesday media column: Michael Wolff vs. David Carr vol. 89, a belated apology for the "worst deal of the century," a Christian is found in the liberal media, and the NYT luvs Kim Kardashian (maybe).

We're hearing that In Touch editor Richard Spencer quit yesterday. The circumstances of his departure are unclear. Last November, we heard that Spencer had been offered the head editorial gig at OK! Magazine, and turned it down. Maybe he'll return their calls now? If you know more about this, email us.

After being folded by Nielsen last month, curmudgeonly book review magazine Kirkus Reviews is coming back—Jeff Bercovici reports an undisclosed buyer is resurrecting Kirkus this month. No such savior for fellow dead mag E&P, yet.

We hear The Daily Beast's new president Stephen Colvin has sparked layoff fears. Know more?

Cablevision, an unskilled owner of newspapers, is asking for more work hours and cuts in pay and vacation time from employees at fucked-several-different-ways newspaper Newsday. The union says the "horrible" contract was the best it could get. Probably true, sadly.

In your Arctic Monday media column: Johnny Apple's wine lives on, the Dallas Morning News jets further off its cliff, Tina Brown luvs David Denby, and Bloomberg will soon own everything.

Vanity Fair's new Tiger Woods cover story doesn't have a Tiger interview, and its Tiger beefcake photos are all of pre-scandal vintage. It just makes us consider the tantalizing magazine story possibilities that are still waiting to be written.

• The cover of Vanity Fair's February issue will likely turn plenty of heads: It features a barechested Tiger Woods pumping iron. The photo by Annie Leibovitz was taken before the Woods sex scandal unfolded, however. [VF]
• Is New York Post editor Col Allan retiring? That's the rumor, although Allan says it's just "wishful thinking" on the part of the Daily News. [NYM, Politico]
• Cable spats: Fox and Time Warner reached a deal in their dispute on Friday. But Cablevision customers are still without the Food Network and HGTV.
• Dick Clark has clearly seen better days, but ABC's NYE telecast was No. 1 on Thursday night. NBC's Carson Daly-hosted program came in No. 2. [Variety]
• Disgraced ex-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich will be one of the "stars" on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice, you'll be thrilled to hear. [UPI]
• Ten years after he presided over the merger of Time Warner and AOL, Jerry Levin now says it was all a big mistake and he's really, really sorry. [THR]
• Good news! The ad market for newspapers, magazines is looking up. [WSJ]
• Arianna Huffington and Glamour's Cindi Leive plan to sleep a lot in '10. [HP]
• Avatar was once again No. 1 at the box office this weekend. The film has now grossed more than $1 billion around the world since it was released. [THR]

This memo just went out to employees of B-to-B publisher ALM (formerly Incisive Media), updating them on the year to come. Furloughs are back, but the outlook is slightly less dire than last year. The full memo:

David Carr thinks the coming Apple Tablet will be the dying print media's holy grail, "saving some embattled print providers from doom." E-media may in fact finally save newspapers. By killing paper. [NYT]

Gabriel Sherman is tweeting that New York Post editor Col Allan is "considering retirement," according to NYP sources. What might this mean for the Post's lovable "angry drunk" journalism style? If you know more, email us. UPDATE: Col Allan responds:

In your last 2009 media column (crying all around): Scientologists now practice their nuttery journalism-style, E&P closes, Tim Tebow ready to lead Christian Soldiers against Fox, and Regis returns!

Way back in October of aught-eight, we published the Gawker Guide to a Journalism Career. Lots of things have changed since then. For the worse, mostly! Time for an update. Aspiring journalists and other masochists, read on.

The dying Washington Times laid off something like 40% of its staff yesterday, including almost all Sports and Metro staffers, most photo staffers, the managing editor, and Wonkette pal Liz Glover. Lean and mean for another decade of domination! [WP]