Huzzah, it's time for another risible media query from Help a Reporter Out, where flacks and desperate journalists connect. Put on your thinking caps: Can you come up with a bright side to this oil spill? Anyone? [UPDATED below].

The New York Post report today that the Justice Department has been calling "a handful of the country's biggest media and technology companies," to get their views on Apple. A prospect that cannot fill Steve Jobs with confidence.

When the GQ iPad app launched, a measly 365 people bought it. Probably by accident. Sister magazine Wired, however, sold 24,000 in their first 24 hours. Maybe because theirs is, you know, good and stuff. [NYT]

In your shady Thursday media column: Gerald Posner rewarded for his hard work, Atlantic Media gives up on its business site, Newsweek.com gets a redesign, and Janice Min's bold new plans for The Hollywood Reporter.

Five years ago, would-be media revolutionary Robert Plotkin vowed to turn the Point Reyes Light, a tiny California paper, into the "New Yorker magazine of the West." He's finally given up, declaring: fine, take your stupid paper back, hippie losers.

In your wacky Wednesday media column: Janice Min is already rich so what does she care, Daily News buyouts, bad news for True/ Slant writers, a college newspaper gets unrestrained, and Tribune Co execs think they deserve big money.

Demand Media is the robotic online content mill that pays freelancers paltry sums to churn out stories based on "what's hot" search algorithms. Guess who's about to start "creating articles" for your local newspapers?

In your gleaming Tuesday media column: big news at True/ Slant, The Atlantic's selling mad ads, the NYT gets a new media reporter, and every last thing is for sale at Shape magazine.

Last year, gossip hack Shallon Lester left the NY Daily News for the lush, tempting pastures of an MTV reality television show. The show, Downtown Girls, premieres next week. What could go wrong?

We hear that Forbes lifestyle editor Lucy Maher is leaving for Hearst. (Know more? Email.)

In your maddened Monday media column: fewer reporters are on the news-free White House travel beat, John Stossel demands unpaid interns, George Rush may take a buyout, and a Channel 13 employee's epic email on his way out the door.

In your finally Friday media column: Brian Tierney goes 3-D, an attorney general bravely takes on Twitter, Sarah Ellison and Michael Wolff work the same territory, and Rafat Ali is ready to do...something else.

Because we are Not Afraid to Be Servicey, we frequently receive emails from our out-of-touch-with-reality readers, who expect that we can put them in touch with prominent people. Today, we will. Hearst president Cathie Black: you have an angry reader.

TV newsman Vince Dementri got in trouble at his old job in Philly for physically intimidating a coworker. Nevertheless, the (self-described) "fearless" news director at WPIX-11 in NYC hired him in March. Yesterday, DeMentri slapped a chauffeur. Whoops.

In you crisp Thursday media column: Tribune Co. is hobolicious, the NY Daily News might head downtown, True/ Slant is a coveted property, and Latinos watch out, you're being targeted!

Finally, the magazine industry has switched from its befuddling "Read magazines to see a nice Michael Phelps photo" ads to these hack-y "Use magazine names in a ransom note" ad. Success is just around the corner. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge.]

New York Observer politics editor Katharine Jose is leaving for Tom McGeveran's new project, Capital.

In your perplexing Wednesday media column: Mort Zuckerman's eying Newsweek, movie stars are creeping off our magazine covers, the owner of the Cubs knows news, and people at People are out the door.

This memo just went out to NYT staffers, informing them that managing editor Jill Abramson is stepping down temporarily in order to take a turn running the "news part of the website." Three other top editors will take turns at her job in the meantime. Bill Keller tries to preemptively dismiss the speculation that will result from this but uh, sure looks like some sort of job tryout. "OPTICS."

We've all heard the horror stories about uber-strict, bow tie-wearing Bloomberg News editor in chief Matthew Winkler instilling fear in his reporters over their use of the words "but" and "announce", or screaming at them for making mistakes, as he did in the infamous "The enemy is the human!" incident.