Early this morning, one truck carrying bread collided with another truck carrying deli meat on a New Jersey highway. Jersey residents are finally getting the lunch they deserve.

Halloween is less than a month away, which means it's time to start scrambling for a menu of thematic treats you can lay out on a spread for all the sexy devils, sexy pirates, sexy references to current events, and whatever other sexy things your kids' classmates will be dressed as when they descend upon your home for party time.

Today's issue of T is devoted to men's fashion, and just about everything—from the piece on how Greek-style homoerotica is making a come back in advertising to the photo essay on flirty college kids— is par for the course. Except! On page 104, which features the above picture, and a column called "The Mantry." Apparently, this will be a recurring feature, in which author Oliver Schwaner-Albright will "[demystify] cooking for greenhorn gourmands." This piece in particular is called "Race for the Cured." It's about all the different salamis you can eat.