Free Lunch in Jersey

Early this morning, one truck carrying bread collided with another truck carrying deli meat on a New Jersey highway. Jersey residents are finally getting the lunch they deserve.

The deli meat of indeterminate origin caused “backups that stretched several exits,” presumably due to the sudden influx of commuters scrambling for free hoagie ingredients. While NBC New York claims that most of the spilled meat has been cleaned up, I’m sure there’s still a spare sandwich to be found littered around the shoulder.

The bigger question, though, is just how likely it is that a rogue bread truck and a rogue meat truck would find each and collide on Interstate 287. I’ve reached out to the New Jersey Department of Transportation but have yet to hear back, which only seems to confirm my suspicions that this “spill” was no accident. This, my friends, was yet another irresponsible guerrilla marketing stunt put on by Big Sandwich.

If you have any information at all about Big Sandwich’s future machinations, please do let me know.