Human Body Parts Made Out of Meat Make Perfect Halloween Appetizers, Cases for Cannibalism
Halloween is less than a month away, which means it's time to start scrambling for a menu of thematic treats you can lay out on a spread for all the sexy devils, sexy pirates, sexy references to current events, and whatever other sexy things your kids' classmates will be dressed as when they descend upon your home for party time.
Parnsips, turnips, and winter squash are all easily pureed and combined into one seasonally-appropriate Samhain Soup. Pizza is what the children will request, and also what they will ultimately end up eating, as an appetizer to candy.
But, if you're searching for something that can serve as a centerpiece while remaining spooOOookily untouched, might we suggest: fancy Italian meats molded into the shape of human parts.
These images were taken at a pop-up "human" butcher shop that was recently erected for two days at London's famous Smithfield meat market. The "shop," operating under the name "Wesker and Sons," was part of an elaborate and delicious promotion for the Resident Evil 6 videogame released Tuesday. (The shop takes its name from character Albert Wesker.)
The PR department really outdid themselves on this one. They probably charged $3000 to create this fake low-budget website, but look at how meticulously crafted it is. That is how you pick a theme and stick to it–remember this for your party.
So, on the night of your soirée, set out a life-sized arm made out of prosciutto and smack away children's hands when they reach out to touch it, saying "This is very expensive, high-quality PRESHOOT."
Lie down on a table naked, and then have a helper lay this naked Woman Made of Pork on top of you and then have that same helper lay several pieces of sushi on top of her and then invite the children to enjoy "a live sushi feast," again, smacking their hands away and explaining "I paid a lot of money for this sushi. Look but do not touch," when they make a grab for it.
After a couple swigs of "witch's brew" (wine out of a purple paper cup) offer up some cock sausages and then prod the kids to say, "These are awful." When they finally do, you can retort "No, they're offal."
It's going to be a great Halloween.
