Look! She's happy! Single and happy! Veryfuckinghappy!
Times Op-Ed diva Maureen Dowd just appeared on the Today show to discuss her much-discussed new book, the very discussion-worthy Are Men Necessary? None too surprisingly, she sat down with Matt Lauer (though we would've loved to see a power struggle with Couric). A loose transcription of the interview's end:
We realize we're going nowhere new here, but after four days of watching the Today show's Where in the World is Matt Lauer campaign, we can honestly say that the segment is, without question, the stupidest fucking waste of money and energy we've seen in at least two days (and we actually like Lauer, too). As if the banefully catchy jingle (Where in the world is [beat] Matt Lauer?!) weren't eye-rollingly intolerable enough, starting your day by watching Lauer show the Austrian and Chinese trinkets he's bringing back to his co-hosts just might incite violence.
We sometimes wonder: what, exactly, does one have to say to no longer be welcome on our television sets? Especially before we've had our coffee?
• Since the world was visually introduced to the coke-fuelled antics of supermodel Kate Moss, she's lost contracts with Burberry, H&M, and Chanel. Now, as it's been roughly a month since the initial story broke, it's time for her comeback: First the cover of W, then love from Yves St. Laurent. Alas, we doubt Vogue will ever forgive her. Those bitches know how to hold a grudge. [Page Six]
• The lobbyists at the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America hired writers to create a thriller-style novel designed to scare the crap out of anyone looking to score their prescriptions from Canada. When the deal fell through, the lobbyists attempted to buy the silence of involved writers and publishers for a pithy $100,000. If Lloyd Grove got the story, clearly the money wasn't good enough. [Lowdown]
• America's first completely cracked-out supermodel Janice Dickinson will fuck you — yes, you!! — for a Xanax. [Page Six]
• If you don't receive the self-promoting mass emails from Cory Bernstein (AKA "Cory the Model"), consider yourself a better person. Otherwise, you'd likely give a shit about the leaked tapes of his marathon masturbation. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Matt Lauer's recent vacation from the Today show was reportedly a Eurotrash getaway with his wife, Annette Roque. No better way to celebrate your reconciliation than at Paris's Sexodrome or on the streets of Amsterdam. [Gatecrasher (2nd to last)]
R&B trio Destiny's Child, making the requisite publicity rounds during their farewell tour, stopped by the Today show for a quickie concert at Rockefeller and a requisite ass-kissing from Matt Lauer. Lauer expressed what a pleasure it's been to see the ladies "grow" through all these years and, if he weren't so laughably earnest, we'd think he were coping with some early morning lust.
