• Andrew Saffir's Cinema Society hosted a screening of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at the Tribeca Grand last night. Attendees at the Pamella Roland and Svedka-sponsored screening and after-party at the Soho Grand included Kanye West, Spike Jonze, Olivia Palermo, Richard Meier, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Lauren Bush and David Lauren, Moby, Amy Sacco, Sandy Brant and Ingrid Sischy, Stefano Tonchi, Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo, Bettina Zilkha, Charlotte Ronson, Cynthia Rowley and Bill Powers, Chace Crawford, Debbie Harry, Heather Matarazzo and Caroline Murphy, Judith Light, Kelly Bensimon, Karen Duffy, Liya Kebede, Rachel Roy, Liam McMullan, Ciara, and Danny Masterson. [PMc, Wireimage, The Daily]

[That's Mary-Kate Olsen, star of the critically beloved "Winning London" (I'm a critic, right?), at a movie screening in New York last night; image via WENN]

Art Basel Miami Beach, the super-chic Swiss-imported Important Art fair, still teeters along, the ruined economy denting its sales but not its woozy party atmosphere. ''All the sellers think it's 2007, and all the buyers think it's Miami Beach real estate," a dealer told the Miami Herald. So... even though nothing's actually getting sold (Herald reports that over half of the vendors have seen sales declines from last year), everyone is still pretending that artsy optimism is de rigeur. And they're getting some big help from mushy celebrities like Mary-Kate Olsen and the mostly-forgotten Pamela Anderson!

♦ Mary-Kate Olsen was "acting very oddly" during her stay in Miami for Art Basel. After getting into a fight with Kirsten Dunst at a party at the Delano on Wednesday night, MK—who "looked like she had not brushed her hair in a week"—spent the weekend drinking, chain-smoking, and hanging out with boyfriend Nate Lowman, which means she's probably not pregnant. [P6, P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan went to a party for Milk without Samantha Ronson last week, where she was spotted nuzzling with Sean Penn. [Fox 411]
♦ Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is reportedly threatening to write a tell-all book about Winehouse unless she gives him $1.7 million in the divorce settlement. [NYP]

• Fran Drescher announced a run for Hillary Clinton's senate seat, on the basis of being "authentic and honest" and "getting a bill passed in Washington." Presumably having Anderson Cooper in the tank is a plus, too. Pray she's joking. [NYM]

♦ Hockey star/former Vogue intern Sean Avery was suspended from the NHL indefinitely yesterday following "inappropriate public comments" about ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. "It's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," he said referring to Cuthbert's relationship with fellow hockey player Dion Phaneuf. [NYP]
♦ Britney Spears celebrated her birthday and album release yesterday by lip-synching her way through a performance on GMA and then heading off to Tenjune, where she partied with the likes of Heidi Klum and Lance Bass. The comeback may be short-lived: She's still abusing prescription drugs and is "plagued by insomnia and shaking fits," at least according to the Star. [The Sun, ThisIsLondon, Star]
♦ Blake Fielder-Civil, Amy Winehouse's estranged husband, just got out of prison. But now it looks like a return trip is in store. [Mirror, Daily Mail]

• Despite showing off her cleavage, Britney Spears managed to attract only the likes of Lance Bass and Ciara to her big 27th birthday party at Tejune. But that's still a better guest list than she'd have been allowed at either of the mental hospitals she visited this year. And she's finally the center of America's attention!

♦ Madonna and A-Rod are reportedly shopping for "love nests" on the Upper East Side. They're looking for something between Fifth and Park, from 60th Street through the 80s, in case you have any suggestions. Oh, and they're looking for retreats in Hamptons, too. [P6]
♦ The blame game begins: Ivana's friends say her split with Rossano Rubicondi was his fault because he's been dating a model. Rossano, meanwhile, says Ivana is to blame because she's been dating a model. [R&M]
♦ Robert and Blaine Trump are scheduled to make their first appearance in Manhattan Supreme Court this morning as the couple looks to end their 25-year marriage. Prepare for things to get "exceptionally ugly." [NYP]
♦ Uma Thurman's parents unknowingly hired one of the bookers from Ashley Dupre's escort agency to run their upstate yoga center. [NYP]

Are you a horrible camera flash-stained, fraying-at-the-edges tabloid media darling who mourns the loss of the recent American rococo decade? Is everyone being poor and complaining all the time just too much for you? Well worry not, dear inexplicably financed friend, because Dubai is waiting for you! Oh you know about crazy Dubai, don't you? Unlike this ailing and needy nation, the Arab Emirate is flush with sandy money and crazy man-made islands and, ooo, brand-new gaudy hotels! Like a beacon or a lighthouse calling to them out of the icky dark, American celebrities who had it better when the world was gold showed up in droves for the huge, $20 million dollar opening gala for the new Atlantis Palms megaresort in Dubai this week. Look who was there partying while we back here in the home country hopped boxcars and ate cold soup thickened with sawdust: Cocaine-snazzled actress Lindsay Lohan, who is now a gay person dating a gay woman who deejayed at the bash. Odious "actress" and model Mischa Barton (who, OK, was born in England, but she made her money here). Tax-dodging half-vampire Wesley Snipes. Too-bored-to-ever-know-where-she-is fashion plate Mary Kate Olsen. I guess things here in the patriotic old US of A got a bit too messy for them, a bit too elbow-greasy. So they flit on over to some twirling, towering desert city of steel and glass where the champagne still flows and the hotels are tacky and people still have the energy to celebrate it all. Fair-weather Americans if you ask me. While the country burns—literally and figuratively—these folks spent how much on dresses (and, um, banana-yellow suits in the case of Mr. Snipes), to go fete it up in the Middle East and had the audacity to smile?? Well I hope they like it over there in Terrorist Disney World, because they aren't allowed back here. All images via Getty

The recession didn't put a damper on Sol Kerzner's plans to throw one of the most lavish parties in recent memory. The South African casino mogul threw a $25 million fête in Dubai this evening to celebrate the opening of the Atlantis, his $1.5 billion hotel on the man-made island of Palm Jumeirah. (It's modeled on his Bahamas resort by the same name.) A long list of stars put in appearances (Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Robert De Niro, Charlize Theron, Mary-Kate Olsen, Albert Hammond Jr., Agyness Deyn), Kylie Minogue was paid in the neighborhood of $4 million to perform a 60-minute set, and a bunch of famous chefs (like Nobu Matsuhisa) were responsible for assembling the menu. Now Kerzner just has to figure out how to get people to rent rooms that begin at $800 a night (and go up to $25,000) and he can start making his money back. [WSJ, Daily Mail]

♦ Remember last month when Gwyneth Paltrow said she was trying to be supportive of her good friend Madonna during her divorce? It seems Madge was less than moved by the gesture and now she's warning Gwyneth to keep her mouth shut and "say nothing about me or my divorce." [National Enquirer]
♦ Meanwhile, Madonna has supposedly been telling a "close pal" that Alex Rodriguez sends her poetry and "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are supposedly planning to "officially get engaged" while they're in Paris this week. [The Sun]
♦ Now that she's back from London (where she reportedly brought 20 pieces of luggage on a three-day trip), Mariah Carey is supposedly organizing her holiday vacation to Aspen, where her plans include rolling around in the snow in a red bikini and decorating her bedroom to look like the North Pole. [MSNBC, The Sun, P6]

It's such a dilemma: You want to acquire several new designer handbags, but in the current economic climate, will it be seen as tacky, insensitive wealth flaunting? As marketing strategist James Chung tells Forbes: "We're way beyond the days of conspicuous consumption," which means it's more essential than ever to know the brands to buy so it doesn't seem like you're showing off.

Mary-Kate Olsen smoking during lunch with boyfriend Nate Lowman ... Jeremy Piven hailing a cab outside Balthazar ... Robin Williams leaving his hotel ... Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss crossing the street with a Starbucks cup in hand ... Brad Pitt getting in an SUV outside the Michael Kors boutique on Prince Street and later stopping off at Mercer Kitchen ... Kim Raver, Brooke Shields, and Lindsay Price filming scenes for Lipstick Jungle ... Katie Holmes walking to a yoga class and later carrying Suri into their East Village apartment building ... and Ed Westwick walking on the Upper East Side.

♦ Present at Bette Midler's Hulaween benefit gala for the New York Restoration project: Suze Orman (dressed as big pile of money, left), André Leon Talley, Gloria Estefan, Gloria Gaynor, Donna Karan, Kathy Griffin, Michael Kors, Pink, Jimmy Buffett, John McEnroe and Patty Smyth, Ray Kelly, and Cindy Adams. [PMc, Wireimage, NYO]

You Got It, Dude? Have you ever wondered who among modern Hollywood's stars could hold a pastie to the scantily-clad pinup models of the forties and fifties? Photographer Timothy White has, and for his new book, Hollywood Pinups, he recreated those bygone poses with stars including, uh, Full House star/avowed Spencer Pratt hater Mary-Kate Olsen. Bob Saget, avert your eyes; we have a feeling this one is going to give Gilbert Gottfried a lot of material. Click through for full-size. [Amazon]

♦ Don't get your hopes up, but supposedly Madonna and Guy Ritchie are hoping to settle their divorce by early next week. Until then, though, we'll be treated to lots more gossip about their wacky marriage, including the set of rules Madonna posted on the wall of their Central Park West apartment and how she wanted to fill up their Olympic-size swimming pool with Kabbalah water. [NYP, Daily Mail]
♦ You think your house is complete chaos? For their stay in Berlin, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have six full-time nannies and a fleet of 20 Volkswagens (provided to them by the car company gratis, of course). [NYDN]
♦ Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of former presidential contender John Edwards, was spotted without her wedding ring at an event Monday night. Now the talk is that the couple isn't living together anymore either. [P6]
♦ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are supposedly feuding because Ashley wants a boob job, but doesn't want to get one unless Mary-Kate goes under the knife at the same time. [Star]

♦ Angelina Jolie is either "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's flirtatious relationship with co-star Diane Kruger, or she's completely happy and getting ready for her next adoption in the next few weeks, depending on which tabloid you pick up. [Star, OK!]
♦ Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than any other host on the View, news that probably won't surprise you. [P6]
♦ Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent last weekend at a romantic spa in Arizona. [Star]
♦ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen appeared at a book signing yesterday, but they did not permit fans to talk to them. [P6]
♦ Page Six follows up on the news from three weeks ago and reports Ivanka Trump is converting to Judaism for Jared Kushner. She's attending synagogue regularly, too. [P6]

♦ J. Crew is absolutely delighted Michelle Obama mentioned the brand on The Tonight Show last night. It's already the basis of an online ad campaign. [Jezebel, Politico]
♦ The Olsens celebrated the launch of their book at Barneys last night, after which MK celebrated into the night at Bungalow 8 and Lit. Today the duo signed books at Barnes & Noble, where they were greeted by PETA protesters in masks. [style file, OK!]
♦ Rachel Roy is just like you and me: She relishes going to vintage stores in small towns because "they aren't picked over by designers like New York is." As for whose style she most admires? Lauren Santo Domingo's. [FabSugar]
♦ You may have balked at Tom Ford's $9,240 otter fur boots, but you'll feel silly on the beach at St. Barts this winter without his $475 tanning goggles! [style file]

[Mogul Mary Kate Olsen at a Barnes & Nobles promoting her and her sister's new book, the unfortunately titled 'Influence'; image via Splash]

♦ Lauren Hutton is the new face of the Olsens' clothing line, reportedly, although it's not clear whether that means the younger Elizabeth and James label or the more high-end The Row. Ashley Olsen on the 64-year-old actress: "She's just a wise woman and she's a traveler and she's obviously a style icon." [Vogue UK]
♦ The Olsens' appearance on Oprah yesterday was noteworthy for many reasons, but none more than the fact that Ashley totally lies about what she eats for breakfast. [Fashionista]
♦ Donatella Versace must not be too worried about the recession: Versace is launching a perfume in a "that comes in a gleaming, hand-stitched white leather train case." The price: $2,100. [WWD]