Click to viewBoomp3.com Pint size media mogul Ashley Olsen took further advantage of her mogul status as she cut through the line at LAX early on Tuesday morning. In addition to moving ahead in line, Olsen did not have to crawl on her hands and knees to breeze past the rest of the line. Olsen said, "Airport lint is hell on my jeans." [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

♦ The Madonna-Guy Ritchie messiness continues: The biological father of Madonna's adopted son says he might be better off in his native country of Malawi, Ritchie supposedly told friends that having sex with Madge was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," Madonna has described Ritchie as a gold-digger, and the two sides aren't even close to finalizing a divorce settlement, which means this is going to continue for a long, long time. [NYDN, Mirror, NYP, SS]
♦ Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen may get married at Tavern on the Green, of all places. [P6]
♦ Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan got into a little fight aboard the Acela. [P6]

♦ Jimmy Breslin and his wife, former City Councilmember Ronnie Eldridge, have sold their condo at 2000 Broadway for $3.3 million. The 1,745-square-foot penthouse has two bedrooms, three baths, and, according to the listing, a terrace with "movie-set views." [Cityfile]
♦ Casino mogul Richard Fields has knocked 10 percent off the price of his 38th floor apartment at 15 CPW. The three-bedroom condo is now listed at $31.5 million. [Curbed, Sotheby's]
♦ Retired oil exec Victor Grijalva has sold his four-bedroom spread at 525 Park Avenue for $9.2 million. The buyer is financier Habib Kairouz and his wife Lara. [NYO]

Dave Chappelle walking with his wife and kids in SoHo ... John Mayer leaving his apartment building with a duffel bag ... Michael Stipe leaving lunch at Souen on East 13th Street ... Mary-Kate Olsen walking with her finger wrapped in a bandage ... Sarah Silverman and Tina Fey outside the Letterman show ... Jessica Alba standing on the sidewalk with her bodyguard holding her waist... Lindsay Lohan going into Kirna Zabete in SoHo, and later leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Dina and Ali Lohan leaving the launch of Lindsay's new clothing line at Henri Bendel.

Uma Thurman outside her West Village apartment ... Ethan Hawke walking in Chelsea with his wife, baby, and dog ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking son James to school ... Ed Westwick in the makeup chair on the Gossip Girl set ... Peter Dinklage taking his dog for a walk ... Kate Winslet leaving her apartment ... Katie Holmes and Suri walking in the East Village ... Michelle Williams posing with Richie Rich on the red carpet ... Gary Sinise and Scott Wolf on the set of CSI ... Michelle Obama leaving the Time Warner building after an appearance on Larry King Live ... Sarah Chalke and Dennis Quaid outside the Letterman show ... and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen arriving at the airport last night.

[Minimoguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen arriving at the airport in New York City last night; image via Flynet] es-ki-mo's new line beats the original, "Our Bodyguards Are Twins Too! We Found Them At a Bar In Southie."

♦ Charlotte Ronson continues with her role as the most respectable (and least annoying) member of Ronson family: She's signed a deal with J.C. Penney to design "a full contemporary sportswear collection" called I ♥ Ronson. [WWD]
♦ Did you sense that the fashion world had turned on its axis? That's because Richie Rich unveiled his first solo collection this past weekend in Miami Beach. [Miami New Times via Paper]
♦ Narciso Rodriguez is parting company with Liz Claiborne after an 18-month partnership; the designer will now have independent ownership of his brand. [WWD]
♦ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen launched their Elizabeth and James line in London last night with the help of Henry Holland, Dasha Zhukova and Pixie Geldof. [FabSugar]

[Mary-Kate Olsen arriving in London today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

♦ Rachael Ray's reps are denying reports that Ray has throat cancer, although they do admit she's having surgery for a cyst on her vocal cord in December. [People]
♦ It was a busy weekend for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. With hoards of paparazzi in tow, the couple made an appearance at the premiere of Changeling, where Angelina showed off her newest tattoos (the coordinates of the places where each of her kids was born) and told reporters that she and Brad are planning to have even more kids. [NYDN, OK!, previously]
♦ Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky tied the knot on Friday night at Le Cirque with Billy Joel performing in front of guests like Denise Rich, Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, and Donald Trump. [NYP, Us]
♦ A fire at Geraldo Rivera's home on Friday didn't singe his mustache, but it did damage the two 1954 Jaguars in his garage. [P6]

♦ Good news for downtown hipster boys: Chloë Sevigny is expanding her Opening Ceremony clothing line to include menswear. [Nylon]
♦ Just because you're a celebrity doesn't mean that your clothing line will be successful, points out WWD: Scarlett Johansson and Mandy Moore both have failed attempts behind them. But Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, because they were apparently blessed at birth with the ability to mint money, have ever expanding fashion companies. [WWD]

♦ Last night Jessica Stam hosted an impossibly chic soiree in Paris, which was attended by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Emma Watson, Leigh Lezark, Lauren Santo Domingo, Kate Bosworth, Lazaro Hernandez, Tinsley Mortimer, Alexander Wang, and Ryan McGinley. [stylefile]
♦ Stylista has released a preview, and the most interesting details are: They've cast a fat girl for dramatic tension, and Anne Slowey, for all her Ice Queen imperiousness, can't walk in her four inch heels. Oh, and it looks like Joe Zee's going to be a big bitch to the contestants. [Jezebel]
♦ What does the fashion world think of Sarah Palin's outfit choices? It's a chorus of "no comment," except for Simon Doonan, who offers some advice: "Nothing she wears will cause anyone to budge, so she might as well enjoy her clothes and go for a little flamboyance. I'm seeing a little Jackie Rogers, a little vintage Mackie." [WWD]

• Heather Locklear's DUI bust? Called in by an ex-Us Weekly staffer who now runs a paparazzi agency. She watched Locklear get into the car, then snapped pictures as she was taking her sobriety test. TMZ paid her more than $27,000 for the shots. And, uh, for ensuring road safety or whatever. [Scoop]

Mary-Kate Olsen successfully avoided interrogations from both the New York police and Drug Enforcement Administration over the death of her friend Heath Ledger. Authorities were said to be curious over why the wee celebrity dispatched her bodyguards to the movie star's apartment after she learned he was lifeless instead of calling 911. Were they hiding drugs? Now Ledger's insurance company, owned by Dutch conglomerate ING, is calling Ledger's death "suspicious" and seeking to take its own crack at the starlet, the Post reported. At stake is $10 million for Ledger's daughter Matilda. Will Olsen finally cave?

♦ Britney Spears' former boyfriend, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib, says he has a sex video featuring him and Britney which he's willing to part with for the right price. And you thought you were done buying sex tapes after the Verne Troyer masterpiece this summer. [NYDN, E!]
♦ Heath Ledger's life insurance company is calling his death "suspicious" and says it won't pay out his $10 mil. policy until it interviews everyone involved, including Mary-Kate Olsen. [NYP]
♦ Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just had twins. But it's Tuesday, which means they're already thinking of adopting another kid. [Daily Mail]
♦ DJ AM and Travis Barker are both out of the hospital. [NYDN, People, P6]
♦ Janet Jackson checked into the hospital in Canada yesterday. [People]

♦ Pat Field's debuted her line for HSN today. The Carrie-like dresses cost $150 a pop and each order comes with a subscription to Vogue. "If only Anna Wintour would go on the air and shill along with Pat Field." [The Cut]
♦ Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen might be feuding, their neighbors might hate them, but their fashion empire keeps expanding: They've just signed a deal with Steve Madden to create a shoe line under their Elizabeth and James brand. [WWD]

[Mary-Kate Olsen at the airport in Milan, Italy; image via Bauer-Griffin] TedSez's new line beats the original, World's Fanciest Hobo Takes a Rest.

Some sketchy reports are coming rumbling down the wire that Ashley Olsen, young billionaire and entrepreneur, has fired her twin sister Mary-Kate from their clothing line The Row. That's their couture collection, which is mostly made up of repurposed Two of a Kind scripts and strips of leather cut from the boots used in How the West Was Fun. Reportedly Ashley was fed up with Mary-Kate's hard partying ways. She asked that her sister take a "step back from her current responsibilities until she has her personal life together." Harsh. Though they are distinct in many different physical ways, the twins seem to differ most in their ideology. They're very separate at work, Ashley apparently the more focused one. Mary-Kate smokes Marlboro Reds and pursues a public life—darting off often to trendy Manhattan clubs and appearing in marijuana-themed television and movies (Weeds, The Wackness). Ashley has laid more low (though, not that low... she did date Lance Armstrong) choosing to focus on their Dualstar empire. But they still talk often of the magical bond they share, so maybe it's all a lie and everything's happy and there is no row at, um, The Row. Gurgle.

♦ It seems like sending out company-wide emails ripping your co-workers is not a good idea: Pat O'Brien has been fired from The Insider. [R&M, P6]
♦ Brandon Davis has been conning his friends out of cash, but whenever anyone tries to get the money back "he starts crying and gets them to feel bad for him." [P6]
♦ Poor Ivana Trump almost had to fly coach this week. But then someone in first class switched seats, so everything turned out okay. Phew. [P6]
♦ Heather Mills is suing her former publicist—the one who very publicly dumped her and called her a "witch"—for libel. [P6]
♦ Anne Hathaway's been crashing on her parents' couch ever since she got booted from Raffaello Follieri's duplex. [In Touch]

♦ Designer/actress/Parisian it-girl Lou Doillon talks to WWD about her more intellectual projects, like her stage debut tonight in Samuel Beckett's The Image at the Alliance Française. [WWD]
♦ Can this week get any more catastrophic? Top Shop's opening is now pushed back till March. [WWD]
♦ Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's label The Row is going to start doing men's clothes. [WWD]
♦ We take it all back: Naomi Campbell did her bit for charity last night with her London Fashion For Relief show, which raised money for The White Ribbon Alliance fund to promote safe childbirth. [Marie Claire UK]

[Mary-Kate Olsen leaving a New York hotel early this morning with friends; image via INF] TedSez's new line beats the original, "Can They See Me?"