MTV is having all their top moneymakers examined. Kate Gosselin hates the dancing stars in her galaxy. Corey Feldman is banned from Corey Haim's funeral. Martha Stewart can't get laid. Monday's gossip got up an hour late.

Martha had crafting kindred spirit Amy Sedaris on her show to make sashes and badges for the Girl Scout's anniversary. As her complimentary opposite, Martha knows the bizarro-world homemaker better shape-up if she wants a life of dogs wearing diamonds.

Martha and Ludacris are at it again, and this time he demonstrated his ridiculous "feminist" ideas in practice. While the sentiment is admirable, he's difficult to take seriously when he speaks about giving women a voice on his album.

In addition to Palin's mystery show, Mark Burnett is shopping Martha Stewart whirls into your life, whips up a quiche, and fixes everything. For the first guests, may I suggest...

Since it was the most important sociological event of our time (and a ratings success) there will inevitably be dozens of new reality shows trying to rip it off. Just stop now. These are always horrible ideas.

Tonight's episode of SNL was a bore until this: a hilarious, celebrity-centric spoof of CBS' Undercover Boss that featured Steve Jobs as a trash man (you know where this is going), Richard Branson, Martha Stewart and more. Video inside.

Jim Cantore was muzzled by his corporate overlords; Martha Stewart was kept quiet by Neil Cavuto; and Ezra Klein was hushed in Yiddish. The Twitterati were hushed in only the most interesting ways.

Martha's up to a lot lately: she's a lover of sex scenes, and has a keen interest in wife-swapping. Today, she showed us that there's nothing like getting into the garden, planting tomato seeds and making thinly-veiled sex toy innuendos.

Martha Stewart has to get freaky in the bedroom. She had twins on today's show for no discernable reason other than doubling the craft output on the show. Everything was going swimmingly until she brought up the subject of wife-swapping.

Even though Johnathan Rhys Meyers stopped by to promote his new movie, Martha Stewart couldn't help but gush constantly over his role as Henry VIII in The Tudors. Well, that and what really draws her into the show: Tudor sex.

A rumored Diddy-J.Lo sex tape may not exist, but enters court proceedings anyway; Katy Perry used Google to figure out when Russell Brand would propose; We Are the World: Haiti Edition records, Gerard Butler jokes about being gay. Tuesday gossip!

Terri Trespicio, of Martha Stewart Omnimedia imprint Body + Soul, came onto her boss' show to demonstrate the trickiest of holistic devices, the Neti pot. Martha claimed it was a TV first, and had an anecdote about the Kazakhstani president.

Today at Gawker.TV, MADtv saw into the future of the Apple iPad (which some CNBC anchors find distasteful), Meredith Vieira surprises Martha Stewart with stripper pole footage, a sneak peek at The Ricky Gervais Show, and the season finale of Teen Mom.

During Martha's first visit to the Today Show kitchen since last week's incident, Meredith surprised the domestic queen with some embarrassing footage. Martha takes it in stride by saying "You didn't see me do the upside-down stuff."

The stars of Jersey Shore know how to haggle. NBC buys a show from Conan O'Brien. Everyone loves Clint Eastwood, Martha Stewart pulls an Oprah and a pharmaceutical company-backed obesity documentary raises eyebrows. Are you ready for trade roundup time?

• How many people have signed up for Newsday.com since the newspaper put up a pay wall three months ago? A grand total of 35, believe it or not. [NYO]
• Following in Oprah's footsteps, Martha Stewart announced she's moving her syndicated TV show to cable (the Hallmark Channel) next fall. [Reuters, WSJ]
• NBC honcho Jeff Gaspin says he "underestimated the level of emotion" that would follow the decision to change up NBC's late-night schedule. Fortunately, the Olympics are here, which he says will be "a cleansing moment." [NYT, AP]
• Ratings are up at Fox News: The network was ranked No. 1 in primetime cable last week. Strangely, Fox News was also ranked "the most trusted name in news," according to a national survey released today. Seriously. [NYT, PD]
• There's lots of anxiety in the air over at CNN, not surprisingly. [Politico]
• Yet another Post staffer is suing the paper for discrimination. [Gawker]
• Roger Hodge, the editor of Harper's, has been let go. [NYT]
• More than 83 million people tuned in on Friday for the Haiti telethon. [LAT]
• Who's going to replace Simon Cowell on AI? Possibly one of these guys. [NYM]
• Nancy Grace loves cameras in courtrooms. Except when she's the one doing the testifying, in which case they can cause "embarrassment." [AP]

Another day, another piece of news about broadcast television's slow, painful death rattle. It's no longer just primetime that's hemorrhaging: the big old networks are fighting battles in daytime, in news, and royally fucking up their once-sturdy late night empires.

Today at Gawker.TV, Kim Kardashian gets punched in the face, Martha Stewart tries fly fishing, Kristin Chenowith makes a new friend, the Worst Cooks are even worse at hiding their emotions, and a low blow on Good Day New York.

Everyone knows Martha Stewart is the consummate domestic goddess— ruling the kitchen and household with iron fists full of fresh thyme and rosemary. Watch Martha and friend Ted Turner head to his Montana landholding for a little fly fishing.

Martha had chef Emeril Lagasse on today's family-oriented show, and the world got introduced to his son. Little EJ is a total charmer with his cherubic features, deep voice, and adorable assessment of his father's professional life.