A man suspected of killing his mother this week was reportedly a childhood friend of Mark Wahlberg's, who fathered the child of a woman dating the mayor of Boston and acted in several Oscar-nominated films.

Mark Wahlberg doesn't deserve a pardon, says the woman who prosecuted him for beating up two Vietnamese men in 1989.

Mark Wahlberg tells The New York Daily News that he wants his 1988 felony assault conviction pardoned because he's a good role model and "every single day I try to better myself as a person." He also, according to his original petition, wants to volunteer with the LAPD.

Mark Wahlberg wants formal recognition from the government that he's now a Serious Movie Star and not just a beer-stealing eye-stabber.

Living out the fantasy of any person invited to any wedding, Mark Wahlberg did, in fact, skip Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy's nuptials yesterday, sending an Instagram in his absence.

Worried about accidentally wearing the same thing as Mark Wahlberg to Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy's wedding today? Well, don't be! He's allegedly not going, so wear whatever you want!

Tom Cruise stirred up major controversy earlier this week when court documents obtained by several websites appeared to suggest Cruise felt his job as an actor was comparable to "fighting in Afghanistan."

Two Matt Damon fans who ran into Mark Wahlberg recently mistook the former for the latter, and good-sport Wahlberg was kind enough to take a picture with them anyway while pretending to be Damon.

Seth MacFarlane is a comedy god. He has three successful shows on Fox. His film directorial debut, Ted, scooped up $54.1 million this weekend, the third biggest opening for an R-rated movie of all time. The film has been well-reviewed by critics (a healthy 69% Tomatometer reading) and audiences (A- on CinemaScore). The little teddy bear that fucks women with vegetables, smokes pot and says racist things has warmed its way into America's heart. It's a triumph of the talking-animal movie spirit.

It's all coulda, woulda, shoulda with you, Marky Mark. After claiming he could have stopped 9/11 and being immune to masturbation, he claimed to have big friends in high places doling out insider Oscar information the night before the awards.

Sigmund Freud theorized that humans have a death drive, a latent desire for self-destruction. In a media ecosystem rife with celebity death pictures, celebrity death bets, Celebrity Rehab, I'd say we have a culture-wide "death drive," too. The reaction to Whitney Houston's death two weeks ago, reported the day before the Grammys, underscored our obsession with such celebrity tragedies. What would be the Oscars' version of that particular fallout?

Just when you thought Mark Wahlberg had traded his racist streetfighting for hamburger franchises and Oscar nods, he gives a crazed interview bragging about bare-knuckling boxing with terrorists and never masturbating. This can only end in disaster.

Much-anticipated Wahlberg brother burger shop Wahlburgers is now open for business. Specialties include Wahlburgers for grownups, Smahlburgers for kids, and Stray Dogs for people who want to make hotdog penis jokes.

Here's a trailer for the upcoming thriller Contraband, one of those he-got-out but he needs to get-back-in thrillahs that are just pretty damn by the book at this point.

Beefcake brothers create beef cake cafe! Hotties to hawk hamburgers in Hingham. Mark and Donnie Wahlberg recently secured the trademarked name Wahlburgers, which is what they plan to call their 4300-square-foot restaurant in Boston's Hingham Shipyard, where they already have an Italian restaurant called Alma Nove. Well done. [Boston Herald, Wahlberg brothers at a Lakers game via Splash]

It's true! Little girls and their older cousins (or moms? oh god, moms??) will soon be able to sit down at the same movie and feel those youthful tingles of chaste lust together. Also today: more Hunger Games news, some gay stuff, and various dismaying CBS news.

Last night Time magazine had their big fancy shindig for its "100 Most Influential" list and many of the anointed showed up to Jazz at Lincoln Center to be rich, famous, and beautiful together.

Our invitation must have been lost in the mail, but we did send fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern to ask everyone some questions. No one responded to her querulous queries, but we have to print something, so here is what she asked everyone.

We all know that celebrities only want to name their children things like Apple, Kal-El, and Echinacea (I made that one up). But what were the worst offenses of celebrity baby naming horror in 2010?

Ms. Reese had a bit of a bad stumble this weekend, her glossy new romantic comedy stalling out at the box office. The new TRON, however, did well as expected, while two smaller indies continue to surge.

Here's another instance of the scrappy underdog Mark Wahlberg beating the odds. Who's the one fighting? Him. Not Amy Adams, not Robin Williams, not Zach Braff. Say hi to your mother for me.