This menu from last night's Atlantic holiday party at Spitzer's looks great, until you look closer: magazines obviously can't afford menu proof-reading, anymore. "Vegitables"? That'd never fly at one of their "sponsored dinners" in DC. Monsanto spell-checks.

In your miserable Wednesday media column: Luke Russert tries some politricks, the New York Times tells black people what to buy, Lachlan Murdoch sells out, Time Magazine is unafraid to take a bold listicle stand, and a new Gatecrasher columnist.

In your tremendous Tuesday media column: Dan Abrams is trying to take us on, bloggers now just as glorious as grizzled war reporters, Conde needs a PR person, and the New York Times Co. continues downward, dog.

Today, four prestigious magazine publishers, and News Corp, officially announced their new "digital storefront" for magazines and stuff. Buy it and put it on your E-reader! Are you sick of E-readers yet? You will be! And you'll be using one.

In your monstrous Monday media column: TWITTERTWITTERTWITTER, a German plan to save newspapers, the shockingly democratized Portfolio.com, and Chicago sports writer wars. TWITTERTWITTERTWITTER.

In your ferocious Friday media column: A reporter brings a gun to cover Obama, more NYT layoffs coming soon, the Dallas Morning News would like your continued patronage, and plagiarist plagiarizes.

• ABC has offered George Stephanopoulos the job of Good Morning America co-host and "intensive negotiations" are now reportedly underway. [WP]
• More on how the deal to hand over control of NBC to Comcast came together; and more on how the deal will be viewed by regulators in Washington.
• Oprah won't be hosting her own show when her cable network debuts in 2011, but she will have a "significant presence" on OWN, reportedly. [NYP]
• The magazine graveyard: National Geographic Adventure is no more. [NYT
• Cuts: Thomson Reuters is laying off 240; Daily Candy is shutting down seven of its 12 editions and laying off half a dozen; and ALM is shuttering four titles.
• Town & Country is planning to sex up the magazine, apparently. [WWD]
• An unnamed former Forbes staffer is writing a tell-all about the mag. [DF]
• Lou Dobbs is a nasty, evil man. But you probably knew that. [TDB]
• Someone is paying "at least $100 million" for Friendster? [Reuters]
• This year's Grammy nominations were announced this morning. [LAT]

In your terrible Thursday media column: Another print magazine dies, rumors of layoffs at ALM, the Dallas Morning News goes straight to journalism hell, and Town & Country is now officially sexy.

The new magazine landscape: Gourmet is gone; Vice has become an ad agency; a travel website meant to be a refuge for laid-off print journalists is tanking. Basically one good magazine job remains: Editor-In-Chief of World of Warcraft: The Magazine.

• Rupert Murdoch is hoping to give the Times a run for its money. The mogul plans to put $15 million into the NYC edition of the Wall Street Journal. [NYO]
• ABC still hasn't said who's replacing Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America, which has led to some "puzzlement and frustration" among staffers. [LAT]
• Why is Comcast planning to keep Jeff Zucker on as NBC Universal's CEO after it takes control of the company? There are no easy explanations, alas. [NYT]
• The Times may "prune" its collection of 70 blogs to cut expenses. [NYO]
• Sam Zell has stepped down as CEO of Tribune; he'll remain chairman. [NYT]
• The lineup for Sundance 2010 was announced today. [Vulture, NYT]
• Tiger Woods' spicy extracurricular activities would have come out two years ago if the National Enquirer hadn't cut a deal with the golfer. Allegedly. [NYP]

In your well-balanced Wednesday media column: NPR totally has Justinmania, Rob Shuter gets a new job, predictable Newseum layoffs, and Rupert Murdoch would like to teach the Arabs a thing or two.

Who is the big winner in this Salacious Tiger Woods Sex Scandal? Self-promoting pansexual former gay magazine editor Neal Boulton.

In your traditional Tuesday media column: Lewis Lapham endures, Lou Dobbs is in demand, Charlie Rose gets a new column, and Sheriff Joe harassed by J-schoolers playing the race card.

A tipster informs us that Heeb—the favorite rag of Holocaust-mocking hipster Jews everywhere—is going kaput. Details? Email us. Update: Other tipsters paint a picture of a Heeb on the brink. If hasn't died yet, it probably will soon.

Last April, Giant magazine was targeted by (someone posing as?) rival XXL, which sent out letters to Giant advertisers warning them the mag would be going out of business. Denials all around! In May: another rumor denied. Today: Giant folds.

In your maverick Monday media column: A word is preposterously declared to be The Top, Jim Lehrer takes it slow and steady, the Mike Penner vs. Christine Daniels question, and you are invited to a Hooker Pub.

The man behind clubplanet.com wants to buy Maxim for $40m and is convinced he can turn the ailing magazine around using the internets. If the owners don't sell, says Andrew Fox, they will DIE.

Apparently the way to get people to read magazines, and advertisers to pay you enough money to support your fancy editorial aims, is to lock them in planes where there are fewer distractions.

In your cheery Wednesday media column: our nemesis Martha Stewart's magazine implicated in decoration-for-prestige scheme, iTunes for magazines is coming, your weekly layoff roundup, and the Search Engine Media Wars heat up.

We've just confirmed that Time Inc. is folding Instyle Weddings, a quarterly publication. The wedding magazine category is rough these days.