In your copacetic Thursday media column: a Russian tycoon buys a British paper, a new NYT White House correspondent, John Carney is let go, and newspapers in general had the worst year everrrrrrr last year.

Everyone was shocked when, last week, In Touch published a cover story about Jesse James' mistress Michelle "Bombshell" McGee. The surprise wasn't that James was having affairs, but that In Touch had gotten the story—and gotten it right.

In your vengeful Wednesday media column: Albany justice does not save the media, a physically attractive journalist is found in India, Nightline is old, and the WSJ plans to cover this whole "god damn Mets" business.

Just in time to make folks panic that the Commie-Nazi Welfare Fag Era really has descended, a new magazine about same sex weddings has launched. Look for copies of Equally Wed to start falling from the sky, crushing straight children.

In your tendentious Tuesday media column: W magazine names its new editor, The Onion gets a TV show, haters be hating on Christiane Amanpour, and a win for Brian Tierney, newspaper champion.

Last week we told you that Regent/ Here Media, publisher of Out, The Advocate, and other gay titles, was ripping off freelancers. Oh, the tips that poured in! They are really deadbeats, apparently. New scathing complaints against the company, below.

In your munificent Monday media column: W's new editor selection appears to be at hand, Howie Kurtz writes something decent, a WSJ prediction comes (roughly) true, and low morale at ABC News.

The "self-promoting pansexual former gay magazine editor," who claims he quit Men's Fitness when bosses forced him to put Tiger Woods on the cover as part of a shady deal to cover up his affairs, has joined moral powerhouse OK!

In your finally Friday media column: wacko wants to buy newspaper from some other wackos who are too wack to sell, Christiane Amanpour has a new job, a WSJ wage freeze, and Jon Friedman is a literary Tiger.

Screwing freelance writers is just wrong. We're doing our part to expose those who don't pay up. Today: complaints that Regent/ Here Media, owner of Out and The Advocate, is ripping their freelancers off.

In your laughable Thursday media column: Roger Ailes calls for unity, Brandon Holley lives the lonely life online, W's editor is leaving, and so are some editors at Harper's.

Essence had substantial layoffs last November. Now, the beauty director's retiring, the beauty editor has left, and we hear an assistant was fired and the whole fashion team is AWOL today. Fashion PR people are worried! Know more? Email us.

In your energizing Wednesday media column: ad spending is rising towards an inevitable deadly explosion, Yahoo hires some good writers, AOL enters the food blog wars, and a Cleveland reporter is a wanted man.

In your bulleted Tuesday media column: the TV industry is mean to women, Jeff Goldberg escapes the PLO, Justin Rocket Silverman's new job, and Rupert Murdoch loses hundreds of millions, haha.

In your rainy Monday media column: God tries to kill celebrity news using the weather, the New York Times is a totally great newspaper!, and USA Today arrives in Starbucks.

In your sober Thursday media column: another round of layoffs hits BusinessWeek, Sulzberger Jr. goes to court, a cop fired for helping a drunk newsman, and Adam Nagourney may be headed to LA.

In your wicked Wednesday media column: Dan Rather apologizes for not understanding the Twitter, looming BusinessWeek layoffs, the Ellies go to the usual suspects, and Jason Mulgrew's book is here.

In a triumph for lazy hacks everywhere, Dave Zinczenko's Men's Health was nominated for National Magazine Awards for three of its 2009 issues—the covers of which are visually indistinguishable from the same shit Zincenko was hawking last year.

In your tribute-laden Tuesday media column: John Roberts in follicle change caper, the Supreme Court hates reporters and death row inmates equally, Rupert Murdoch's birthday, and MSNBC is made of air.

In your magical Monday media column: Masshole-on-Wellesley media violence, the internet finally beats print forever, going deep into Glenn Beck, and people find jobs, miraculously.