• Is it finally over between Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson? Her mom and sister certainly hope so: The two were spotted with Sam at a police station yesterday to "look into filing a restraining order" against Lindsay, although LiLo appears to still be in denial, telling E! that they're just taking a "brief break." [Us, E!]
• Madonna was crushed to learn her adoption petition had been rejected by a judge in Malawi—"I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind"—but baby Mercy's uncle is now supporting her appeal, for whatever that's worth. [MSNBC, Sun]
• CNN's Campbell Brown had a baby boy yesterday. [HuffPo]
• Who does Scarlett Johansson have to thank for her new bod? Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently, since she reportedly introduced Scarlett to her trainer Tracy Anderson who put her on a "rigid diet." [Sun]

• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen's wedding party in Costa Rica on Saturday was rather eventful: Two paparazzi photographers claim that members of the couple's security team opened fire on them as they tried to score shots of the festivities. [NYDN, NYP]
• A former nanny who worked for Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower is suing the couple for failing to pay more than $40,000 in unpaid wages. [P6]
• More drama for Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson: At the launch of Charlotte Ronson's I Heart Ronson line for JCPenney this weekend, Lohan had to be "restrained from coming in by five security guards." [OK!]
• The people of Malawi can breathe a sigh of relief: Madonna left the country on Sunday and returned to London. [People]

Madonna's lawyer says she plans to appeal a judge's ruling that she cannot adopt a second child from Malawi. [AP]

Every unhappy family is dysfunctional in its own way: J. Lo is ambivalent about more Marc Anthony babies; MSNBC kids are jealous of their new sibling and Madonna's adoption was thwarted.

• Madonna won't be leaving Malawi with a baby after all: A judge listed a residency requirement as the reason why he rejected her adoption petition, although there's still a possibility Madonna will appeal the ruling. [People, E!]
• These are tough times for Kelly Killoren Bensimon. The "Real Housewife," who was arrested a couple of weeks ago for allegedly beating up her boyfriend, now just lost her Saks modeling gig. [P6]
• Andre Balazs appears to have a new special someone in his life. He was spotted making out with beer heiress Daphne Guinness the other night. [P6]

• Say it isn't so! Although she's introducing her own spray-tan line, Sevin Nyne, Lindsay Lohan has been spotted using the services of a mobile spray-tan company called Fake Bake "on the sly." [NYDN]
• Related: LiLo would like to reiterate that she and Sam Ronson have not broken up. For now. [E!]
• The indignity! Jay-Z had to wait 20 minutes for a table at Babbo. [P6]
• Chelsea Clinton's rep says the former first daughter is not getting married after all. Too bad! [Us]
• Paris Hilton's little brother Barron says he's "giving up the party life" to pursue a career as an "international singer-songwriter." A family just chock full of talent, clearly. [P6]

New beginnings can be heartbreaking: John Mayer's new breakup song sounds ridiculous and transparent, but Paris Hilton's brother's new life plan is even worse. Way worse.

• It's been a bumpy stretch for the cast of the Real Housewives of NYC, hasn't it? In today's dose of bad news, it seems Ramona Singer's TV antics have made her "persona non grata" at her daughter's UES school (nor is she making any friends in Palm Beach); and it appears both Kelly Killoren Bensimon and Luann de Lesseps are now being forced to sell their Hamptons houses. [P6, Page2Live]
• Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel are expecting their first baby. [Insider]
• Whitney Port says she breaks down "a couple of times a week" due to the stress of reality TV fame. She also says she and Olivia Palermo "never hang out off-screen," which you could have probably guessed. [P6]
• It looks like Luke and Julie Janklow have reconciled. Following their breakup —and brief flings with Jessica Joffe and Scott Murphy—they appear to be back together, and were spotted kissing at Sweetiepie over the weekend. [P6]

Pancake painter to the stars Dan Lacey has completed his second painting suggested by you, the Gawker readers: OctoMom upon the cross, as Angelina and Madonna worship her.

• Sad news for those of you who expected "Real Housewife" Luann de Lesseps to be with her count in shining armor forever. The couple is now splitting up, reportedly because the count is getting serious with an "Ethiopian woman in Geneva." On the plus side, Luann should be able to hold on to her title as "Countess," which is the only thing that matters anyway. [P6]
• Queen Latifah has been sued by her former "beauty and style consultants" for not paying $1 million in fees. [NYP]
• Jennifer Lopez brought 11 pieces of luggage with her on her weekend trip to Japan. Even worse: They were of the cheap, non-designer variety. [DM]
• Soho House is kicking out the finance-types and says it plans to get back to its "artsy roots." Good luck with that. [P6]

• And you were thinking Naomi Campbell was devoid of sympathy and compassion. The supermodel has been all over Mumbai's Lakmé Fashion Week, where she's raising money for victims of last year's terrorist attacks. [SF]
• Vera Wang's Lavender label may be in trouble now that Bergdorf Goodman and Saks Fifth Avenue appear to be dropping the line for spring. [NYM]
• Sketches of Gwyneth Paltrow's collection with French label ZOEtee—"a mélange of Seventies glamour, rock inspiration and men's casual suiting"—are now available for your viewing pleasure. [WWD]
• Anna Wintour was in Miami to see Roger Federer this past weekend. [FWD]

The New York Daily News sez: It's now fair to masturbate to Madonna's 12-year-old.

Mickey Rourke dates strange ladies, Frankie Delgado is a jerk, and so much celebrity-baby news that you might just never want to have a baby yourself, thus ending the human race. And on a Monday!

• It seems Michael Wolff is finally coming clean about intern-turned-girlfriend Victoria Floethe: The author and Vanity Fair contributor brought her to a tasting at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar last week and now admits he and his wife Alison Anthoine are planning to divorce. [P6]
• This will probably come as a huge surprise given his upstanding reputation, but it's rumored Bernie Madoff hasn't been faithful to his wife all these years, and may have cheated on her on a couple of occasions. [R&M]
• A "friend" of Joe Biden's daughter Ashley has been trying to sell a tape of her allegedly snorting cocaine for $250,000. [NYDN]
• Madonna appeared in a Malawian court today to discuss her adoption of a four-year-old girl, but a judge put off a decision until Friday. [AP, NYP]

• Madonna's kicked boytoy Jesus Luz to the curb and is thrilled to be single again, reports Britain's Daily Mail based on the things she's been telling fans on Twitter. But as the Times reminds us today, lots of celebs only pretend to use Twitter, so you don't have to give up hope entirely just yet. [DM]
• In related news, Madonna is expected to arrive in Malawi this weekend so she can add another baby to her collection of human accessories. [NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. only broke up recently, but she may have already moved on: She was spotted at a "rebound dinner" earlier this week. [P6]
• More trouble for CNBC: The network's golden boy, Dylan Ratigan, may be heading out the door after clashing with management. [P6]
• Ivana Trump may have reunited with her ex, Rossano Rubicondi. [P2L]
• Mega real estate broker Kathy Sloane has been hit with $248K tax lien. [P6]

It's Friday, everyone's turning the page. Madonna wants a new Malawi baby; Method Man promises to pay his taxes and it's Dylan Ratigan's last day to yell at his CNBC producer on camera.

• Bruce Willis tied the knot with Victoria's Secret model Emma Heming this weekend at his home in Turks & Caicos. He's 54; she's 30. Guests at the wedding included his daughters, Madonna, and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. [NYP, LAT]
• Natasha Bedingfield got married on Saturday, too, to a California businessman in Malibu. [People]
• 64-year-old tech billionaire Jim Clark married his 28-year-old girlfriend this weekend with a four-day event on Richard Branson's Necker Island. Guests included Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and Ed Norton. [NYP]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart finally got engaged. [People]
• Alas, it's not all happy news: Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. have reportedly broken up. [NYM]

Reality star Jade Goody has died of cancer. Elsewhere, people continue to get married and have babies, or adopt babies and fire those babies' nannies.

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly moving into a temporary "therapeutic environment" run by Stephen and Daniel Baldwin, where she can "go to work and meetings," and "remove the negative influences in her life." Sounds like the basis for a great sitcom, too. [Fox 411]
• Holly Peterson—socialite, daughter of billionaire Pete Peterson, and author of The Manny—is calling it quits with her husband of 15 years, Goldman Sachs exec Richard Kimball Jr. [P6]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley hooked up at a party in Miami and were later spotted "making out at Nobu." [P6, OK!, E!]
• Fashion editors: They're just like us! Vogue's Andre Leon Talley was spotted "chowing down on chimichangas at Chili's" at LAX on Tuesday night. [P6]

A day for relationship regrets: The author of The Manny is losing her husband-y; Madonna's pet model realized she's a control freak; and Rihanna's many regrets supposedly include a sex tape.