• It looks like it's war between two Hamptons magazines that no one actually reads: A title called Hamptonite is now accusing Devorah Rose's Social Life of destroying copies of its debut issue last weekend. Social Life denies the accusation, although when members of the Real Housewives are involved, anything is possible, really. [P6]
• In A-Rod/Madonna news, the Yankee is still dating Kate Hudson and she's already started "following [him] around." For her part, Madonna is reportedly "livid" at Gwyneth Paltrow because she blames her for setting the two up. [P6, NYDN]
• Rihanna may finally open up about the alleged assault on her by Chris Brown: Prosecutors say they'll subpoena her to appear at a June 22 hearing to decide if there's enough evidence to move ahead with the case. [People]

All the pretty, fabulous people were at Lorenzo Martone's birthday party at soon-to-open club Avenue last night, meaning I wasn't there. Luckily a photographer was! The party, thrown by Martone's boyfriend Marc Jacobs, played host to many gliterrati, including Madonna and her maybe-boyfriend, model Jesus Luz. More pictures are here.

This is an oil painting, by Scottish artist Peter Howson, that a nude Madonna and her now ex-husband Guy Ritchie sat for back in 2005. It is being auctioned off in Glasgow, and is expected to go for some £22,000. Image via Getty.

Rihanna may be getting over Chris Brown by boning Kanye West, Jesus Luz puts Madonna in the "friend zone," Mike Tyson's 4 year-old daughter is on life support after accidentally hanging herself with an electric cord, and Brooke Shields expresses regret for not slutting around when she was young.

• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to Jack McCollough for head-butting him, and charges against the actor are likely to be dropped. Not that he's learned much of a lesson: He was spotted boozing it up on the LES with his daughter in tow last week. [NYP, P6]
• The celebrity crime wave continues: Kevin Bacon had his BlackBerry stolen from him last week. And Monica Bellucci and husband Vincent Cassel had more than a quarter of a million dollars in cash and jewels taken from them while they were attending the Cannes Film Festival. [NYP, DM]
• Mel Gibson has confirmed that he and his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, are expecting. [People, NYDN]
• Mariah Carey spent Memorial Day in Turkey. Why Turkey? Because a hotel paid her $1.5 million to perform, that's why. [P6]

• Presumably this is what happens when you spend time hanging out with John Mayer: Dick Parsons (right), the former chairman and CEO of Time Warner and currently the chairman of the board of Citigroup, not only cheated on his wife of three decades with a "model-philanthropist" 29 years his junior, he fathered a child with her, too. [NYDN]
• Sean Penn and wife Robin Wright Penn may not be getting divorced after all. Weeks after filing for legal separation, Penn has withdrawn the motion, either because he only did it in a fit of anger, or because he got jealous after seeing Robin flirting with a handful of men at the Cannes Film Festival. [NYDN, P6]
• The "Real Housewives of New York" have all reportedly signed on for a third season and are expected to make upwards of $30,000 per episode. [MSNBC]

Brad Pitt getting into a car in Soho ... Kate Hudson watching the game at Yankees Stadium ... Hugh Jackman walking in the West Village with son Oscar ... Tim Robbins riding a bike in the Village ... Gisele Bundchen getting out of a taxi ... Madonna walking into the Kabbalah Center with sons David and Rocco ... Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt arriving at JFK ... Naomi Watts playing in the park with son Sasha ... Michelle Williams getting coffee with daughter Matilda and a friend ... Jennifer Love Hewitt talking on her cell phone in the meatpacking district, and later shopping in Soho with boyfriend Jamie Kennedy ... Rihanna going to Da Silvano for lunch ... Chace Crawford hanging out on the set of Twelve ... and Justin Timberlake running to his car in Tribeca.

• Cynthia Nixon and longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni have gotten engaged. The couple announced the news at the Love, Peace and Marriage Equality rally over the weekend. [OK!, ET]
• Mariah Carey reportedly threw a fit in Cannes on Friday evening when the director of her new movie had the audacity to show up late to the premiere, thus denying her precious time on the red carpet. [NYDN]
• Also in Cannes: Giuseppe Cipriani was seen making out with Tara Reid; and Kirsten Dunst missed the party she was supposed to be hosting because she missed her flight. [NYDN, Mirror]
• Kelly Bensimon is telling friends she regrets joining the Real Housewives cast since appearing on the show has "ruined her socially." [P6]
• Brooke Shields says her mother was checked out of her nursing home last week by a National Enquirer reporter looking for a scoop. [People]

Justin Timberlake following his bodyguard out of a building downtown ... Gisele Bundchen walking to her West Village apartment in the rain ... Mary-Kate Olsen grabbing coffee downtown with Nate Lowman ... Jennifer Aniston sitting down on the set of The Baster in Central Park ... Tom Hanks getting out of an SUV ... Kirsten Dunst hailing a cab in the West Village ... Whitney Port having lunch downtown ... Madonna walking behind Jesus Luz ... Jennifer Hudson waving to fans outside the Today show ... and Jewel carrying her dog in Midtown.

• Lindsay Lohan is certainly having a good week. Not only did she finally land another acting role—she'll be appearing in The Other Side, along with Woody Harrelson, and Giovanni Ribisi—but she may be getting her own clothing line at JCPenny, too. And the cops are getting closer to figuring out who broke into her house, too, which has got to be good news. [NYDN, People, NYP]
• These are tough times for Jennifer Aniston, clearly: Bette Midler is now providing her with dating advice and says Jen should sign up on JDate and find "a nice Jewish boy" with "a lot of money." [NYDN]
• Rihanna is "convinced" it was Chris Brown who leaked nude photos of her last week as payback for not attending his birthday party. [NYDN]
• Chelsea Clinton has a six-pack! [P6]

• Olivia Palermo's imaginary career is on fire. The City star is reportedly leaving her "job" at DVF to "work" in the publicity department at Elle. So if you see anything in Elle that seems to have been ripped from another magazine, now you know who to blame. [P6]
• Jay-Z demanded a Maybach, champagne, "good quality" peanut butter and jelly, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboros—along with $750,000—before agreeing to perform at the University of Arizona last month. [SG, P6]
• Jesus Luz's dad says his son and Madonna "definitely" plan to tie the knot in a Kabbalah ceremony shortly. But Jesus won't have to bother signing a prenup since the marriage won't be legally binding. [NYDN]
• The good news for Amy Winehouse: She's reportedly no longer addicted to drugs. The bad: She's supposedly traded the drugs for booze. [OK!]
• Man of the people: Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was spotted flying coach on a flight from New York to DC. [P6]

More Carrie Prejean topless photos have emerged, real topless photos, Bob Barker and Betty White are about to kill each other over an elephant, and Nick Cannon is sick of Eminem talking about Mariah.

• Brooke Shields can't seem to make up her mind about who's to blame for the Kiefer Sutherland-Jack McCollough incident last week. A few days ago, her reps denied she'd been pushed by Jack. But now she says he did bump into her, and that Kiefer "has always been a gentleman" with her. Go figure. [TMZ, NYDN]
• Madonna took her kids to a Mets game on Mother's Day, which was all part of a plan to make Alex Rodriguez jealous, apparently. Also, the singer/diehard baseball fan sat in Jerry Seinfeld's seats and hung out with the Anderson Cooper the whole time, just so you know. [P6]
• More topless photos of Carrie Prejean have surfaced online. [TMZ]
• Barbara Walters wore the same dress to the Time 100 gala and the White House Correspondents' Dinner. The horror! [TMZ]
• Maya Rudolph and PT Anderson are expecting their second child. [People]

Lucy Liu leaving the Kabbalah Center in Midtown ... Jessica Biel shopping with Justin Timberlake's mom in Soho ... Michael Bloomberg watching daughter Georgina Bloomberg competing in an equestrian event in North Salem ... Jim Jarmusch walking and smoking in the Village ... Joan Rivers leaving ABC studios ... Naomi Watts sitting by herself in the park ... Penn Badgley grabbing coffee in the West Village ... Keanu Reeves walking in Soho ... Dennis Rodman leaving his hotel ... Famke Janssen riding a bike downtown ... Pete Wentz walking into his hotel ... Matthew Broderick riding on a scooter with son James ... Rihanna leaving her hotel ... and LuAnn de Lesseps posing for pictures outside the Waverly Inn.

• Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant will meet in Greenwich divorce court for the first time today. Expect some fireworks: Brant has already filed a motion demanding Seymour "undergo drug and alcohol testing"; for her part, Seymour is accusing Brant of "hostile, threatening and intimidating behavior." [NYP]
• Now that he's split from his wife, Sean Penn is supposedly dating Natalie Portman (again), since she "stimulates him in ways no other person has." [Star]
• Rumor has it Madonna and Jesus Luz are planning some sort of commitment ceremony at the Kabbalah Center sometime soon. [NYDN]
• Luke Russert was either the "It" boy at the White House Correspondents' dinner on Saturday night, or has been a major disappointment for MSNBC, depending on who you talk to. [NYDN, P6]
• Speaking of nepotism, Meghan McCain reportedly "lost it" and acted like an "insolent child" when a guard told her she couldn't bring two friends into the Correspondents dinner on Saturday. [NYDN]

Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is blessed with bisexual rocker-dom; Lindsay Lohan's sister has been baptized into mega-decauchery; and Mel Gibson's family will be born into sin.

• Eliot and Silda Spitzer made their first public appearance together last night. The couple turned up at the Waldorf for the eighth annual Children's Benefit Gala and were spotted holding hands and making "lovey-dovey looks at each other." Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. [NYDN]
• The stress over the Kiefer Sutherland/Jack McCollough incident must be getting to Brooke Shields: She was spotted looking "upset, overwhelmed and stressed" at the Innocence Project gala on Wednesday night. On a related note, the desk appearance ticket Kiefer received yesterday means he will be a free man until he shows up in court on June 21. [NYDN, NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan's 15-year-old sister Ali has reportedly dropped out of high school so she can party full-time with her big sister. Good work, Dina. [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting girls when their surrogate gives birth in a few weeks. [OK!]

• After 16 years of marriage, Stephanie Seymour has filed for divorce from her polo-playing, art-obsessed husband, Peter Brant. And it doesn't sound like he's taking it well: The mogul reportedly changed the locks on the couple's Greenwich mansion, and is now forcing Stephanie to sleep in the maid's quarters and threatening to take custody of their three kids. The good news, at least as far as the public's concerned: From the looks of it, the split could be just as riveting as last summer's Brinkley-Cook saga. [P6]
• Kiefer Sutherland is expected to turn himself in to the NYPD today for headbutting Jack McCollough. The penalties may be stiff, too, considering he's still on probation from a 2007 DUI arrest. [NYP]
• The Malawian father of baby Mercy says he was appalled by what Madonna wore to the Costume Institute gala this week, since she should "feel ashamed in that gear." We couldn't agree more. [MSNBC]
• Lindsay Lohan spent the night at Sam Ronson's house and changed her BlackBerry messenger name to "LL loves Sam Ronson" on Tuesday, which probably means the two are getting back together. [People]

Rihanna probably doesn't care that her outfit made people wonder if she's lesbian and Kiefer Sutherand is unrepentant about attacking a designer at SubMercer. But Kirstie Alley is ashamed of her 83 new pounds.

• The drama surrounding fashion's most famous headbutt continues: Kiefer Sutherland says he was "defending the honor" of Brooke Shields by attacking Jack McCollough, since Jack had knocked Brooke over and then failed to apologize. Brooke and Jack, however, say the push never even happened, and Kiefer was running around drunk and "looking for something to smack." The police are now investigating the matter, since apparently there aren't more important crimes to be tackling right now. [TMZ, TMZ, NYDN, P6]
• Anna Wintour and Rihanna were acting like old pals at a Costume Institute afterparty on Monday night, which certainly bodes well for Rihanna's chances of landing a Vogue cover in the future. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan was supposed to chaperone her little sister to a party at LA's Roosevelt Hotel on Monday night, but ended up "getting up close and personal" with ex-boyfriend Jared Leto instead. [E!, P6]
• Casey Johnson, meanwhile, showed up to the same party and was overheard telling a friend that she and Courtenay Semel have broken up, again. [P6]