Now that NBC has dumped David Gregory as host of Meet the Press, some radical changes are in store. What was once a subpar Sunday political talk show will now be a landfill, full of the most useless NBC News personalities.

In your merciless Monday media column: Bloomberg rules, Romenesko is back, the endless "off the record" debate, David Frum vs. Fox News, and Luke Russert's all grown up.

So, Chelsea Clinton is joining NBC "News" to "report" on "Making a Difference." We'll pause here as you get out all of the obvious jokes. (Pause.) Great. Now, let's take a moment to contemplate just how vapid our nation's most powerful "news" networks really are.

In your undeserved Tuesday media column: Luke Russert speaks unconvincingly, sports columnists issue predictions unwisely, NYT ad revenue descends gently, and a PR guy threatens a journalist. Jokingly!

Each year, around this time, dozens of celebrities fan out across America and descend on college towns in the middle of nowhere to deliver the same tired cliches to a group of hungover college students. Who are these people?

Ayla Brown, the American Idol-singing daughter of Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown, just landed a job as a CBS Early Show contributor. Old nepotism: Inheriting your parent's political seat. New nepotism: Parlaying it into a media career.

Somebody yelled "Baby Killer" at pro-life Michigan Democrat Bart Stupak while he spoke against the anti-abortion amendment he proposed to the health care bill. Now the world wonders: Who is this heroic Baby Killer Guy? Update: It was a Texan!

In your blizzardy Wednesday media column: Luke Russert does it the Luke Russert way, the NYT has no iPad comment, a new journalism moneymaking scheme, and David Remnick acts so haughty you'd think he runs America's best magazine or something.

In your miserable Wednesday media column: Luke Russert tries some politricks, the New York Times tells black people what to buy, Lachlan Murdoch sells out, Time Magazine is unafraid to take a bold listicle stand, and a new Gatecrasher columnist.

The 96-hour orgy of navel-gazing, unseemly on-camera veneration that attended Tim Russert's untimely death was not enough, nor was the accelerated career advancement afforded his son. Nope—now Russert's old NBC News office will become a museum exhibit.

• Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant will meet in Greenwich divorce court for the first time today. Expect some fireworks: Brant has already filed a motion demanding Seymour "undergo drug and alcohol testing"; for her part, Seymour is accusing Brant of "hostile, threatening and intimidating behavior." [NYP]
• Now that he's split from his wife, Sean Penn is supposedly dating Natalie Portman (again), since she "stimulates him in ways no other person has." [Star]
• Rumor has it Madonna and Jesus Luz are planning some sort of commitment ceremony at the Kabbalah Center sometime soon. [NYDN]
• Luke Russert was either the "It" boy at the White House Correspondents' dinner on Saturday night, or has been a major disappointment for MSNBC, depending on who you talk to. [NYDN, P6]
• Speaking of nepotism, Meghan McCain reportedly "lost it" and acted like an "insolent child" when a guard told her she couldn't bring two friends into the Correspondents dinner on Saturday. [NYDN]

Meghan McCain and Luke Russert act like bratty kids, Jimmy Fallon gets his college diploma, Lily Allen gets herself banned from the BBC for "using rude words," and Ryan O'Neal allegedly phone-sexes while Farrah dies.

Thick-necked celebrity son Luke Russert is having an Inauguration Eve party! For that black guy who won! Would you like to go? Here is the invitation.

Luke Russert, son of the late Meet the Press moderator Tim, is now working as a correspondent for NBC News, attending political conventions and reporting and stuff. So, I guess, he's sorta famous now. Really, though, he's been in the public eye for like three years. And we helped put him there by posting his 'babes in a jacuzzi' Facebook profile picture. Haha, oops! Well he recently was interviewed by MediaBistro, and, when asked, had this to say of Gawker and the hottubbery:

We all know Luke Russert is the house wunderkind at NBC news, presumably brought in to engage the youth audience during this historic election. As a youthful guy, Russert naturally blogs. And guess what. He's annoyingly free of self-awareness. A sample:

• The war between News Corp. and NBC rages on. Today Page Six reports that Keith Olbermann is so concerned about being "assassinated," he's refusing to cover the Republican National Convention unless MSNBC springs for a more secure location. They also claim none of Luke Russert's new colleagues at NBC News like him, especially since he got to ride around the convention in golf carts while they had to walk. [P6, P6]

• Luke Russert golf-carted around the Democratic convention like some kind of boy king while his bitter coworkers had to hoof it. Obviously this rumor is made up, because everyone knows NBC correspondents air their bitter grievances only on camera. [P6]

"NBC News’ strategy in hiring young Luke Russert is now clear: whenever anything happens, Brian Williams can ask Luke what his dead father thinks about it." [Wonkette]

In the most recent issue of ESPN: The Magazine, 15-year sports journalism veteran Stephen A. Smith responds to the torrent of hate mail he received following his inaugural column for the magazine. The basic thrust of the criticisms is that Smith is an angry black man who doesn't understand any sport besides basketball. Smith defends the work he put in to earn his byline: "See, contrary to popular belief, ESPN didn't hand me the privilege of working here overnight. That opportunity arrived after years of blood, sweat and tears. A lot of people choose to ignore this. Fine! Especially now that I've got the last word. Or the last word of the first round, anyway." His column is immediately followed in the magazine by a story on the Buffalo Bills authored by a young up-and-comer named Luke Russert. Sigh.