Bros, I know you've been frustrated about the ladies not giving you any action. Ladies, I know you've been frustrated about dudes being pigs. Let's just kill two birds with one stone, sexually, yes?

Fertile China! Psychic dogs! Killer papaya! ADHD safety! Internet addiction! Breastfeeding asthma! Shrinking brains! Love psychology! And uncalled-for lizard posing! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—out of sheer desperation!

Hundreds of gay and lesbian couples across New York state are getting hitched today, thanks to legislation passed on June 24. In New York City alone, 823 couples signed up to marry today, while couples in a dozen other cities across the state also walked down the aisle.

So this guy proposed to his girlfriend while giving a Power Point presentation in the conference room at Deutsch, the advertising agency where they both work. She said yes. This true story is also a Rorschach test. [Ad Age]

Ah, spring! When a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of licking his dominatrix's boots in McCarren Park. A videographer at Brooklyn's hippest park caught the lovebirds—and the nonreaction of their neighbors—and uploaded it to (what else?) the "Animals & Pets" section of YouTube. Obviously, we've got copious video evidence that the New York City subway system is the most fun in the entire country. But did you know that city parks are similarly, uh, stimulating? [via Runnin' Scared/Village Voice]

Daily Beast contributing piece-fluffer Meghan McCain was grilled by the NYT Magazine on everything from body image ("I wake up every morning with large breasts...") to recurring dreams ("a giant squid... he scares me.").

If we have learned anything about you, the Gawker Readers, it is that most of you are constantly finding yourselves in romantic situations that you consider "creepy." Thank god we came along as an outlet for your not-so-sexxxy stories.

Fellas: you know how it is, right? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. You come home from a long day at work, stretch out on the couch with a cold one—and all of a sudden, it's "Honey, can you help me clean up?"

Love! It is not for the faint of heart. What is it about l'amour that drives the "males" among us to hand out eerily-worded business cards to strange women on the street—to revel in our passive-aggression, trying to simultaneously embrace and flee from love's awkward embrace, by passing some kind of love note thing, which never works? It is a mystery. All we know, ladies, is this: more of your very own, very true, bad love connection stories are below. To Cupid's Garden!

Yesterday we published the story of a woman in Midtown who received a "sicere solicitation" of love—via business card—provided that she was "Not Compromised." Many readers hastened to send in their own tales of business card-based solicitations!

Hey, how about a totally unsubstantiated crazytown story, from the internet? It's about an advertising executive's penis! Oh, now you're interested. Well then, fine.

Yesterday afternoon, a reader sent us an alarming tale of the perils of love in the big city.

Back in the heady days of 1999, Osama bin Laden found himself juggling the demands of running Al Qaeda with his endless quest for love. So he tasked a young Yemeni cleric, Rashad Mohammed Saeed Ismael, with finding his fifth soulmate. According to Rashad, who spoke with the Guardian, bin Laden described the kind of girl he was looking for:

Gaze upon this painting—Le Grande Odalisque ("The Big Odalisque"), by the French artist Ingres. What do you think? Is it as fun as looking at your boyfriend? No? It doesn't matter what you think! Your brain loves it.

The sex wars are over, and the men won! Yeah! According to a study! But not just any study—a study of l'amour, a way that guys say "love" when we are being especially seductive.

At times it seems that for those afflicted with obesity, each passing day is like a terrible pounding tidal wave, dumping bad news and sucking out all joy into the blackness of the retreating tides. The affliction itself traps its victims in a cruel duality; the comforting consumption that would momentarily sate their persistent woes is the very thing that keeps them from fully enjoying the other thing that would sate their persistent woes: hot sexxx.

Paparazzi snapped what might be the royal wedding vows in the back seat of Kate Middleton's car. The visible text: "As down the...The wearing of the...With so much love within...As no more will you...And all y—" Beautiful. [Daily Mail]

The Achilles Effect, a blog about gender stereotypes and masculinity, took stock of the frequency with which certain words are used in commercials for "gendered" toys like Hot Wheels and Bratz by making Wordle word clouds. See if you can guess which cloud goes with which gender! (Hint: Boys hate friendship, fun and glitter.) [Achilles Effect via Boing Boing]

Philadelphia's misbehaving news anchors are the most exciting thing to come out of the Philly media scene since AJ Daulerio! Former Philly CBS anchor Alycia Lane (pictured) is famous for slugging a cop and emailing bikini photos of herself; fellow former Philly anchor Larry Mendte made his name by hacking into Lane's email and thereby destroying his career. Today: more details than you probably care to know about the relationship between the two!

Breakup pain! Men and doctors! Mommy medicine! Adolescent specialists! Dangerous dyes! Sleep weight loss! Death rate fluctuations! M.S. marijuana! And eating disorders of the olds! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—or, like, whatever!