I chose to write about sisters because that’s the only story that is mine, the only story I have any right to tell.

The first rule of public relations: when sending out a press release, make sure it is racially offensive, full of misspellings and grammatical errors, and— most importantly— strategic.

A judge in West Virginia repeatedly tried to frame the husband of his secretary for various crimes, after his secretary broke off an affair with the judge, according to a federal investigation.

In one of the final scenes of Zachary Heinzerling's documentary, Cutie and the Boxer, the 80-year-old artist Ushio Shinohara looks over a book of his works entitled Love is a Roarrrr!!. He likes the final word, but says he doesn't understand why it's preceded by a comparison to love. "Who put 'love is'?" Ushio asks his wife, another artist, named Noriko. She points to herself. "Why? Because I think so: Love is a roar. I found out by experience in my life. Love is a roar."

This man is extraordinary. His defining white beard. His joie de vivre. His pet raccoon.

Well this appears to be the best listicle on the internet.

When it comes to mating, shorebirds prefer a good body to a large brain, and the romantic singing of male bats can attract females in less than one second. Animals are Justin Bieber fans.

Women be cheating on their husbands 40% more than they did 20 years ago.

Is the shape of your face ruining your chances of finding life-long love and therefore happiness and a satisfactory life? Some British scientists found that the shapes of women's heads are correlated to whether men consider them desirable for short or long-term relationships.

"I think that I am in love with him. Leonardo DiCaprio is the hottest guy on earth... I wish I had a boyfriend. That’s been my motto since 1992 when I started this journal."

The Guy Who Only Masturbates to Beyonce Videos, and other people you meet at "Skinny Mini Speed Dating."

Cybermillionaire Nick Denton, the former owner of First Tuesday and Oddjack and current principal of Blogwire Hungary Szellemi Alkotast Hasznosito KFT, plans to marry his boyfriend next year, according to an exclusive report in the New York Daily News.

Well, it's more or less official now: owning a dog is great for your heart health. (Unless that dog is Herbert, the asshole dog that tried to bite me when I nicely volunteered to walk him. Fuck you, Herbert.)

Last month, A.J. Daulerio—my boss and my roommate—stood in one of Nick Denton's giant Soho windows, and addressed the crowd gathered to celebrate his abruptly abandoned term as Gawker editor-in-chief. For about five minutes, he went through a list of people he somehow owed: former Gawker managing editor Lockhart Steele ("He's the only one who taught me how to do everything"); Jezebel's Jessica Coen ("The person who taught me how to blog"); former Deadspin editor Will Leitch ("I couldn't be more indebted to him for supporting me at a time when no one else did"); current Deadspin editor Tommy Craggs ("The best hire I ever made"); his former Gawker right hand, Emma Carmichael ("The person that I'm going to miss working with the most because she's everything about this company that's good"); the owner of it all, Denton ("He's the best guy you're ever gonna work for").

Another day, another huge survey of American couples reinforcing the fact that you are weird, unlovable, and never getting laid, just like everyone else. We want to flag one SHOCKING sex factoid (sextoid), amid all the other shocking sextoids in this humdrum survey.

Two people named Kelly Hildebrandt who bonded over their shared name and eventually got married say they gave it their "best shot," but couldn't make it work.

Just before our love got lost I said, "I am the worst guy and you are the best." We had reached the moment of truth, one that was pronounced even in our established dynamic of honesty. It was the moment when even I couldn't tolerate my behavior any longer. Or at least, I couldn't tolerate not knowing whether he would.

During the press onslaught surrounding Fiona Apple's recent album, The Idler Wheel. . ., the most important character in the artist's personal sphere was her pit-bull mix, Janet, a 13-year-old stray rescue.

Fellas. Fellas? Fellas. I know how it is out there on the "battlefield of love" in this modern world, so to speak: the rules have changed. It's hard to keep up with what's "politically correct" these days in the wild and wooly dating arena. Can you compliment a coworker? On her outfit? Or her eyes? Or her ass? Can you touch her ass while doing so? How about her tits? Is she allowed to drive? To vote? What are the "rules?" You'd need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight. Fear not, homeboys (slang for "friends"): here are the new rules of flirting.

Us Weekly does not wish to alarm Taylor Swift, but let's just say she better get used to requesting "Table for one, please," because she will definitely be alone for ever.