Scientists using a new form of analysis say that an earthquake south of Los Angeles would cause "stronger-than-expected ground movement" in the city. Since it was already expected that Los Angeles will be totally wiped off the fucking map, we suggest that L.A. residents begin calmly making their way out.

The future is here, or at least it's in Los Angeles. Last month, a company called Burritobox installed "world's first burrito kiosk" inside of an LA convenience store.

While practically the entire country was doing its damnedest not to freeze to death, beach-goers in Los Angeles were walking around shirtless.

In most places, walking, the fundamental process of mobility for humans, is an indispensable activity, on par with breathing. In Los Angeles it is a crime, with an associated $200 fine.

"Fewer people are applying to join the LAPD and, of those who do, a significantly higher number of them are being disqualified from consideration." Let's just agree to interpret this as a positive development.

Los Angeles may follow the lead of Philadelphia, Seattle, and Orlando and "ban the feeding of homeless people in public spaces." Because those people, man, they're like pigeons, you know: Try to be nice, and all of a sudden you need to wash your car. Or something.

So it rained a little bit in Los Angeles for a few hours earlier this week. EVERYBODY PANIC.

Is Los Angeles the best food town in America?

The Sheriff’s Department in Los Angeles confirmed Saturday that human remains were found in a water-treatment facility near the 110 Freeway in Carson. The remains—a foot, a calf, and a lower torso—were found in a bin that separates debris from sewage water.

A father was killed and his 15-year-old son was injured when they responded to an ad on Craigslist this weekend. The botched robbery occurred just hours after the Los Angeles Police Department announced there had not been a homicide in ten days, the longest “no-murder milestone” in three years.

A new report on the Los Angeles Sheriff Department Canine Special Detail reveals that 100 percent of police dog bite victims in the first six months of 2013 were blacks and Latinos.

Los Angeles police arrested about three dozen alleged members of the Rollin' 30s Harlem Crips (a.k.a. Ice-T's former gang) yesterday on federal and state charges related to gang operations and drug dealing. It was the culmination of an investigation called "Operation Thumbs Down," a reference to a popular Rollin' 30s hand sign: two thumbs up.

When I first wrote about my love for the YouTube videos of enigmatic multi-platform taste-making entity Vfiles, I singled out comedian Casey Jane Ellison's mock celebrity gossip show "Status Update." Ellison is back with a new, hilarious spoof fashion show called "WHAT THE F*SHION," which teaches you how to dress like someone from Los Angeles in between bizarre "Tim & Eric"-style non-sequiturs.

A former GOP leader who cracked wise about Anthony Weiner's sexting woes has found himself embroiled in a seedier version of the scandal after being arrested last Friday for allegedly sending sexually explicit material to a teenager over the Internet.

The entertainment at the LA Sheriff's Department "Sheriffs Day Luncheon" yesterday was a stand-up comedian who reportedly told lots of racist jokes, and then received a plaque of appreciation from the LA Sheriff. Yes? And? Sounds like they chose the entertainment perfectly.

Mentally ill people make up 17% of the jail population in Los Angeles. "If you're trying to figure out what makes for a desirable therapeutic environment...'this ain't it.'"

Despite lots of chatter on Twitter tonight, the group in South LA "rioting" to protest the George Zimmerman acquittal doesn't appear to be rioting at all. The story thus far is that some people threw some merchandise to the ground in a Wal-Mart and jumped on cars. One person has been arrested.

Antonio Lopez Chaj was awarded $58 million by a jury today after a beating by a bar security guard left him with a skull his attorney described as, "like a pie with 25 percent cut out of it."