london-olympics
A Candid Interview With America's 'Boner Rower': Uncooperative Penises Are 'A Recurring Problem With Rowers'
Taylor Berman · 08/07/12 04:42PMTough luck, Gabby Douglas, Henrik Rummel's penis is the new sweetheart of the 2012 Olympics. Rummel burst into internet fame over the last 48 hours since photos of his large-but-not-giant non-boner stole the spotlight from him and his three teammates during their medal ceremony Saturday afternoon. (Rummel's penis was not awarded a medal, even though it is a comparable size to most coxswain.)
Of Course You Should Have to Pay Taxes on Olympic Winnings, Dummies
Cord Jefferson · 08/07/12 01:56PMThe dumbest story to come out of this year's London Olympics isn't about the judo competitor who alleges he accidentally ate a weed brownie before coming to London, or whether the guy from America's crew team had a boner while getting his bronze medal (though he definitely did, and that's alright, it happens). The dumbest story is that American politicians are now attempting to exempt Olympians from the taxes they have historically paid on their prize money. Even Obama, the socialist who hates victory, is on board with the plan. And you thought Ryan Lochte was simple?
That U.S. Olympic Rower's Cock Is Not Giant: A Photoanalysis
John Cook · 08/07/12 12:36PMTo the settle the matter of the Olympic boner that wasn't: First, American rower Henrik Rummel was celebrated for appearing to have a "giant boner" after he won the bronze. Then, on Reddit, he demurred, claiming that the sculpted outline visible through his rower's shorts was actually his flaccid, unerect member. This revelation prompted some august personages—including former Gawker editor Choire Sicha and current Gawker editor A.J. Daulerio—to pronounce Rummel's cock really big, if that's what it looks like during the off-season. This is hogwash. Here's proof that Rummel's cock is just a regular old cock.
Michael Phelps' Mystery Girlfriend Is 'Pretty Much Down for Any Type of Project (That Doesn't Involve Nudity)'
Caity Weaver · 08/07/12 10:49AMFascinating Video Infographic Compares Usain Bolt to the Fastest Sprinters of Olympics Past
Neetzan Zimmerman · 08/07/12 09:30AMOlympic Rower Denies Boner During Medal Ceremony: 'I Swear It's Not Erect'
Max Read · 08/07/12 08:44AMItaly's Champion of Funny Looking Sport Banned for Doping
Taylor Berman · 08/06/12 08:57PMToday was a tough one for Olympians. First, American Judo person Nick Delpopolo accidentally ate some pot brownies and got the boot. Then news breaks that a U.S. rower had a boner during his recent medal ceremony. Now comes word that Italy's national hero and walking champion Alex Schwazer was banned from the Olympics today after he failed a drug test. The illegal substance was not disclosed.
American Rowers: Third Place in Rowing, First in Boners Giant Upright Flaccid Penises [Update]
Taylor Berman · 08/06/12 07:30PMHere's a picture of American rower Henrik Rummel receiving his new bronze medal while sporting a boner. He's the second one from the left, in case you missed the giant erection. All told, U.S. rowers won two bronze medals and one gold. Below is a video of the ceremony. [UPDATE: Rummel claims he was 'not erect.']
The Olympics Where Everyone Stopped Trying: World's Athletes Munching on Pot Brownies, Walking Off Racetracks
Caity Weaver · 08/06/12 06:23PMThe 'Best Olympic Commentary Ever' is Too Good for Television [UPDATE]
Neetzan Zimmerman · 08/06/12 05:45PMThe Opening Ceremony Was a Satanic Illuminati Occult Ritual and Other Olympic Conspiracy Theories
Max Read · 08/06/12 05:10PMIs the 2012 London Olympics a flawed and corrupt but ultimately heartwarming celebration of athletic achievement and a sign of peace and cooperation among nations? Or is it a sinister occult ritual undertaken by the British Royal family and the Illuminati to summon ancient demons and secure their power over the mindless masses? The peaceful celebration, definitely. But that hasn't stopped the internet from doing what it does best: making weird YouTube videos and posting to conspiracy theory message boards. Behold, the best of the internet's Olympic conspiracy theories.
Please Help This Woman Who Hooked Up with 100m "Finalist" Find Out If He's Still Living with the Mother of His Child
A.J. Daulerio · 08/06/12 04:20PMSoon after NBC re-aired Usain Bolt dominating the 100 meter final, we received this email from a woman who would like to spill the details of her ongoing fling in London with one of the other sprinters who is presumably not Usain Bolt. But she would like to sell her story anyway, even though most publications would probably not purchase the story unless it was about her sleeping with Usain Bolt. She tells us:
Ragú Hopes Childhood Trauma Can Help It Sell Some Pasta Sauce
Neetzan Zimmerman · 08/06/12 03:21PMFox Sports Can't Tell the Difference Between Iraq and Iran
Max Read · 08/06/12 11:34AMSome Asshole Threw a Bottle at Usain Bolt Right Before His Race Yesterday
Caity Weaver · 08/06/12 10:50AMClassy Athlete Usain Bolt Halts Interview to Show Respect for Fellow Runner's Gold Medal Moment
Neetzan Zimmerman · 08/06/12 09:55AMIn one of the most moving moments of sportsmanship so far in these Olympics, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, who took home the gold in the men's 100m, stops an interview with a Spanish reporter in the middle to pay respect to Jamaican-American athlete Sanya Richards-Ross, who had just received a gold medal for her first-place finish in the women's 400m.