• Angelina Jolie supposedly threatened to leave Brad Pitt because he was never home at their filthy French chateau with the six kids. God knows why. [Sun]

♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]

Not since the University of Alaska's 2006 study proving that bears do, in fact, shit in the woods has a more exciting and revelatory discovery been made: on the cover of the new issue of People magazine, American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken comes out of the closet. Yes I know. Take a seat and a deep breath before continuing. The long-suspected homosexual (who got caught trolling for gay internet sex a few years back) recently had a kid through a surrogate and starred on Broadway in Spamalot. He made his decision to come out because he realized he "cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things." Welcome to the world, sir. But wait, first Lindasy Lohan comes out on the radio and now this?? Who's next, Anderson Cooper? [Towleroad] (Seriously, though, good for him. All the best.)

After many months of denials, Lindsay Lohan has finally confirmed her relationship with Samantha Ronson. Calling into Loveline last night, Lindsay said the pair has been dating for "A long, a very long time." Congrats! But we're guessing the fact she's in a committed relationship still won't help her get into the Dakota. [Defamer]

After months of open canoodling with celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan has stopped playing coy about whether the two of them are in a relationship, finally confirming the news on (of all places) last night's episode of the radio show Loveline. And she wasn't even prompted by the harsh interrogation techniques of Dr. Drew, either! No, Lohan — who had the phone passed to her after Ronson called in to discuss her hospitalized friend DJ AM — was caught flat-footed after an innocent question by Dr. Drew's cohost, Stryker.Asked, "You and Samantha have been going out for how long now?" Lohan giggled and demurred, but Stryker pressed on. "Like two years?" he asked. "One year? Five months? Two months?" Finally, Lohan allowed, "A very long time." The MySpace pundit then accepted compliments on her relationship, eventually signing off in a bit of Italian that stumps the hosts (is that how lesbians talk?). Our congratulations go out to the newly confirmed couple. Stryker, you'd better prepare for tonight's inevitable Michael Lohan call-in. [Loveline]

• President Bush will retire to Preston Hollow, just outside Dallas, after leaving the White House but prior to being brought to justice. The town has rich people, golf and horsies. Cindy Adams is apparently the first non-conspirator to know. [Post]

Though she's often seen dancing at nightclubs and stealing fur coats around the city, actress Lindsay Lohan doesn't actually live in New York. Yet. She and probable girlfriend deejay Samantha Ronson are rumored to be looking to relocate from Los Angeles to the big rotten apple, possibly in the Dakota building (Yoko!) of all places. So what might their reasons be? We don't think it's that old saw about how real New York celebrities are. You know that one about how they live boho lifestyles, free from the nagging press and prying eye (everyone pretends not to notice!). They're people like Keri Russell and the late Heath Ledger and, um, the Olsen twins? See therein lies the rub. The kind of celebrity that Lohan is, like the Olsens, isn't the kind who can just turn in a well-respected performance and then retreat, Julianne Moore-esque, back into civilian life. No, Lohan is a clubgoer and a partyer and—at this point it must be assumed—a huge fan of the paparazzi cameras. I mean, if she is coming to the city to live that whole quiet life thing, she's doin it rong. The Dakota isn't exactly a secret enclave of the city. She'll be right smack dab in the middle of things, ready to mix it up with crazed celebrity hounds uptown and downtown. According to News of the World, Lohan "plans to make [the apartment] a hotbed for parties." Ugh. Though, I guess it's almost respectable that she's not going in for that "I'm just going to live in Brooklyn and be a person" cliched lie. So yeah, we suspect that Lohan is moving here for that maybe-still-lingering "cool New York celebrity" factor (not the homey "cool", the Beatrice "cool") and because LA is probably sick of her and she of it. So there. She's going to flaunt it and we'll (maybe) have to deal with it and that will be that. I suppose the Upper West Side could use two more lesbians anyway. Update: From an Observer article on the whole matter:

• So now Demi Moore is dating Michael Phelps? After all of Ashton's hard work making "Punk'd" she just trades him in for a younger model? [P6]

Apparently British tabloid journalists aren't familiar with concept of co-op boards. According to the ever-reliable News of the World, Lindsay Lohan has her heart set on an apartment in the Dakota:

♦ Martha Stewart has been busy wielding the ax. First she fired one of her show's directors; now she's cut her longtime hairstylist/makeup artist, allegedly because the staffer was spending too much on makeup and hair dye. [P6]
♦ The doctor who has been treating DJ AM and Travis Barker since their plane crash on Friday says both men should make full recoveries. Four others died in the wreck and investigators now suspect a blown tire was the cause. [People, LAT]
♦ Ron Perelman and Pat Duff are still fighting in court over their daughter Caleigh. It seem the teenager is still skipping out on those court-ordered visits with her mom. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan will be a judge on the first episode of next season's Project Runway. [NYDN]
♦ Tina Fey was a big winner at the Emmys last night. You can check out a full list of winners here. [ET]

When fashion design competition show Project Runway starts its next season on Lifetime (rather than on Bravo, where it's been for five seasons) and moves to Los Angeles, its first guest judge will be none other than actress and LA stunt driver Lindsay Lohan. It begins... [Access Hollywood]

♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]

Actress Lindsay Lohan, so politically outspoken these days, recently lobbied some criticism, once again on her MySpace page, against Sarah Palin—the Alaskan warrior poet who, just in the nick of time, stopped a confused John McCain from wandering into a cave full of bears and was named his Vice Presidential running mate as thanks. She said that Palin hates gays ("media-obsessed homophobe!") and that that is bad. And now she wants to join the cause and drum up support for Barack Obama! Trouble is, Obama doesn't really want her help. The Chicago Sun-Times reports:

Click to viewBoomp3.com On her way to the Ugly Betty premiere party, Lindsay Lohan threw up a preemptive elbow to ward off any unruly and pushy photographers. Lohan said, “I didn’t want to use my bag the other night and I don’t want to use this tonight. I haven’t used any lotion in a few days on purpose, and now my elbow is rough like sand paper.” The political blogger hoped that she could reach a peace accord with the photographers, but only time will tell. Lohan said, “I sincerely hope we can be cool with each other, just like a bunch of Fonzies.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

To many celebrities, civic engagement can wield an almost narcotic allure in an election year. And as hinted at earlier this month, few of Hollywood's addictive personalities are as susceptible to political jousting as that of Lindsay Lohan, who is quickly surpassing other pundits around the left as Sarah Palin's most vocal critic. It was bad enough that Palin would dare to exploit her daughter's pregnancy, Lindsay blogged a couple weeks ago; but now, with Palin having implacably assumed the national spotlight with six weeks to go before Election Day, a more general study is apparently in order — via MySpace, natch:

[Actress Lindsay Lohan calling the police about a paparazzo with whom she'd had "an altercation," in New York last night; image via INF] finwar's new line beats the original, "No Sam, I'm Totally Serious. I Just Saw Her. My Mom, Flying By, On a Broom."

Jessica Szohr playing with a pretzel during a photo shoot in SoHo ... John Mayer standing on the street with a motorcycle helmet in hand ... Michelle Trachtenberg walking hand-in-hand with an unidentified man in SoHo ... Katie Holmes hopping out of an SUV near Times Square ... John Legend shopping with his girlfriend in SoHo ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving Toys 'R' Us with son James and a big bag toys ... Tim Robbins grabbing some juice while riding around on rollerblades ... Meg Ryan making her way out of an office building ... Actress Kim Raver pushing her son in a stroller ... Frankie Muniz standing on the sidewalk with a female friend ...Padma Lakshmi posing for photos in the street wearing an all-white ensemble ... Heroes star Dania Ramirez leaving the Bryant Park Hotel ... Kiefer Sutherland walking through SoHo with his daughter ... Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony making their way into Marc's birthday party at the Bowery Hotel ... Ashley Olsen heading out for the evening with a big bodyguard ... Kelly Rowland going to dinner at Nobu ... and Lindsay Lohan hiding her face with a handbag outside the Bowery Hotel.

• Jennifer Lopez competed in a triathalon in Malibu, then flew to New York to throw Marc Anthony a birthday party at the Bowery Hotel. It's unclear, though, if she ever had an injured foot, which was the reason she gave for pulling out of the Project Runway finale last week and now some are wondering if a fight with Harvey Weinstein over a movie role was the real reason she cancelled. [People, NYDN, MSNBC]

• Lindsay Lohan called Sarah Palin a "narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe" on Lohan's MySpace page, citing a conference her church on "converting" gays. "She can suck it." [MySpace, Daily News]

Marc Jacobs and boyfriend Lorenzo Martone kissing while eating outside at Pastis ... Liv Tyler walking in the Village with her son ... Andre Leon Talley walking with Venus Williams while wearing peep toe shoes ... Keira Knightley taking a stroll with a friend ... Diane von Furstenberg chatting with a group of women at a Fashion Week event ... Claire Danes and Jada Pinkett Smith posing for pics in the front row at Zac Posen's show ... Tobey Maguire being followed by paparazzi while jogging on the street uptown ... Natalie Portman walking under an umbrella on her way to the Rodarte show ... Heidi Klum en route to Bryant Park ... Tyra Banks standing outside and surrounded by fans ... Blake Lively striking a pose in Bryant Park ... Agyness Deyn looking like she's about to trip while making her way into the Kors show ... Goldie Hawn exiting a store ... Jessica Simpson leaving her uptown hotel en route to the Letterman show ... Eva Mendes going somewhere in a hurry ... Ricky Gervais standing on a street corner and talking to a woman ... and Lindsay Lohan leaving a party, followed closely behind by Samantha Ronson.