Try not to get frustrated. Christian Bale may have yelled his way out of a gold statue, and Tom Cruise never stopped to think why those glib Brazilians weren't responding to his Spanish.
• Olivia Palermo and Whitney Port are "horrified" that MTV producers have been pressuring them to get into a physical fight at "work" for an upcoming episode on The City and they've even threatened to walk off the set if they're forced to participate. How principled! [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan "stomped around" and "caused chaos" after finding out she'd have to sit in economy on a flight home from Tampa on Saturday. (She also told a friend to "come and visit me back there in case I die.") Horrified flight attendants eventually found her a seat up front. [Fox News]
• Things seem to be heating up between Madonna and Jesus Luz. Also, she took the model to brunch at Macelleria on Sunday, so you know. [DM, NYDN]
• It looks like Julie Janklow's new paramour is none other than surfer Scott Murphy, who split with Marci Klein back in December. [P6, previously]
Everyone's experimenting with a new crowd: Katie Holmes hangs with the bad boys; Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try a new neighborhood and Gene Roddenberry's remains enter a whole other orbit.
• Is Jennifer Aniston planning to steal the spotlight away from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the Oscars by showing up to the ceremony with John Mayer and with a ring on her finger? Maybe! [Star]
• Alex Rodriguez either spent last weekend hanging out with Madonna at Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld's East Hampton mansion, or he spent it partying with Bill Clinton and Spike Lee in the Bahamas, depending on what you read. [P6, NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan's rep says LiLo can't be anorexic since she "ate two full meals" during a recent photo shoot. It's settled! [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's mom says 800 people have already joined her daughter's Tribeca gym, which hasn't even been finished yet. [NYDN]
Or, you know, she's back on drugs or cutting or something. Her arms are all scratched up. She's tried to hide it with long sleeves, but people have still noticed.
• Why didn't Anderson Cooper and the "attractive Hispanic man" he flew to DC with sit next to each other on the flight? [Page Six, previously]
• Paul McCartney and girlfriend Nancy Shevell may be getting ready to marry now that Nancy's divorce has been finalized and Paul has gotten approval from daughter Stella. [NYP, NYDN]
• Someone hacked into Kanye West's MySpace and Gmail accounts. [P6]
• Prince Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Davy have split up. [People, Daily Mail]
• Execs from Amy Winehouse's record label have flown to St. Lucia to "drive some common sense" into her. Good luck! [The Sun]
• Lizzie Grubman gave birth to another son yesterday. Little Jack arrived ahead of schedule, though, which must be wreaking havoc on Lizzie's weekend plans. [P6]
• Larry King lost "more than $1 million" to Bernie Madoff. And some sources say Madoff is now contending with some "serious" health issues. [P6]
• Tom Cruise is undergoing an image makeover so he can win back female fans. This will reportedly prohibit him from wearing sunglasses on the red carpet, getting grabby with Katie Holmes, or lecturing TV hosts on psychiatric medications. [Star]
Britney Spears will somehow seduce a publisher into paying millions for three books from her; Lindsay Lohan wants to re-seduce Gotham via magazine spread and Dan Abrams keeps seducing actresses.
• There were bound to be a few dramatic moments at the inaugural parties last night: Sheryl Crow had an awkward run in with her ex, Kid Rock, in the lobby of Donovan House. John Legend was forced to make a last-minute stop at Bloomingdale's because his girlfriend didn't have a gown. Susan Sarandon got a reporter kicked out an event for daring to ask a question. And Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony showed up so late to the Neighborhood Ball, they almost didn't get in. [P6, WP, Politico]
• One possible explanation for Lopez's late arrival: She was spotted at the Scientology Center in LA yesterday morning, trying to sneak out of the building without being noticed. [NYDN]
• Another headache for John Travolta and Kelly Preston: A politician in the Bahamas may have been part of a plot to extort money from the couple following the death of Jett Travolta. [OK!]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is dying to cast Britney Spears as Carrie Bradshaw's younger cousin or niece in the next Sex and the City movie, or at least that's the rumor anyway. [MTV]
• Jeremy Piven was not on the plane that crashed yesterday, just in case you were worried or anything. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan says she works "as hard" as other actors, but she gets no credit due to the "mess that I created in my life." [NYP]
• Is John McCain thwarting our chance to see Cindy McCain on Dancing With the Stars? Say it isn't so! [P6]
Sean Penn could woo Lindsay Lohan with an Oscar invite and Graydon Carter can woo a Waverly Inn neighbor with a spot in Vanity Fair and museums can. Seduction is everywhere.
• Did Lindsay Lohan split up with Samantha Ronson? Is she now in "complete denial" about it? And what's going on with her and Sean Penn? All good questions! [P6]
• Graydon Carter's plan to win over neighborhood critics of the Waverly has been revealed: He gives them tables at the restaurant and puts their pictures in Vanity Fair and, sure enough, his foes magically turn into friends. [P6]
• On the View yesterday, Tom Cruise described the death of Jett Travolta as "horrific," but said that Scientology had absolutely nothing to do with it. You've been warned, people. [People]
• Remember Lisa Bonet? Well, she just had a baby girl who she named Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. Yes, she stole the name you were planning to use. [NYDN]
• Madonna's interest in Alex Rodriguez appears may have waned (she's been spotted with a young Brazilian model in recent weeks), but there's another rich, older, equally Kaballah-obsessed woman happy to take her place. At a New Year's party in Parrot Cay last week, Donna Karan seemed smitten with the slugger, although A-Rod "refused Karan's advances" since he's "still hung up on Madonna." [P6]
• Not only are most people on Mustique happy the Noel family stayed off the island this year, but a bar even created a "No Noel" cocktail to celebrate. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan says on her MySpace blog that she and Samantha Ronson have not broken up, just in case you've been up all night worrying. [People]
• Officials in the Bahamas have completed an autopsy on John Travolta's son, Jett, and claim the death was caused by a seizure. [CBS, NYP]
Set down your water bottle. Halt your DJ set. Doff your fedora and bow your head. The romance between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson is no more, says Access Hollywood.
• Start your engines, ladies: Sean Avery and Kelly Klein have split up. [P6]
• Mariah Carey may have collected as much as $1 million to perform three or four songs on St. Barts on New Year's Eve. [R&M]
• Lots of unresolved questions remain concerning the death of John Travolta's 16-year-old son, Jett, last week. [TMZ, NYP, Mirror]
• Get ready to see more of Lourdes Leon: Madonna's 14-year-old daughter has reportedly enrolled in Manhattan's Professional Children's School with hopes of starting an acting career. [Daily Mail]
• The new year isn't shaping up to be much fun for Gwyneth Paltrow. Her new diet bans dairy, gluten, meat, shellfish, nuts, potatoes, condiments, sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. [Telegraph]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into yet another public spat while heading home to LA after spending New Year's in Miami. Lindsay eventually got so upset a flight attendant suggested LiLo disembark. [TMZ]
• George Soros reportedly spent New Year's partying with "two young brunettes" on Paul Allen's yacht, Octopus, off St. Barts. Now at least we know where son Alex gets it from. [P6]
• Queen Latifah was robbed of $10,000 worth of jewelry while on vacation in Trinidad and Tobago over Christmas. [Us]
• Kathy Griffin made a dick joke during CNN's live NYE broadcast with Anderson Cooper. The video is here, in case you care. [NYP]
