94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

Starting with the ANDY Awards this Thursday and ending with the Cannes International Advertising Festival in June, ad awards season is the most wonderful time of the year for the t-shirt-wearing "creative" half of the industry. All those all-nighters and lost weekends will have been worth it, if you can just get your hands on one of those statuettes.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

This week, AdAge got adman Donny Deutsch to present his "Big Idea" about the Don Imus imbroglio. Double D says it's a "moment in time—the end of an era." Our country "is ready and begging to be a less hateful land. Jerkiness, snarkiness, screaming, yelling and taunting are tired and old." Deutsch then highlights some of his own jerky snarky past. But! He leaves out at least a couple of noteworthy instances.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

It's all your fault. You TiVoing netizens aren't watching television commercials or reading newspapers and magazines. Advertisers need to make a certain number of impressions on you in order to acquire and retain you as a customer (their words, not mine). Subsequently, the messaging ploys, especially in New York City, are becoming more and more bizarre. Marshall McLuhan — whom I was supposed to have read in college instead of playing hockey and being a poseur existentialist — must have a pretty smug look on his skull right about now.

I hate American football. I hate American advertising. I'd rather have been anywhere — even at this avant-garde horseshit (sorry. ed.)— than in front of a TV Sunday evening. Because unlike the revered windbag ad critics (Hi ya, Bob Garfield!), I spend my days/nights/weekends "crafting" ads. If I didn't have to write this stupid column, my Super Bowl XVI report would've looked a lot like last year's.

As You may remember, advertising industry authority Ad Age named You ad agency of the year. I know I know, big fucking whoop. You didn't even attend the awards ceremony and you sold the hardware on eBay for five bucks (btw, it now sits on Donny Deutsch's nightstand with a newly-engraved name plate.)

After reading the CE-nO column, in which I called Batten Barton Durstine Osborn a "shitty bloated" ad agency, Jocelyn Weiss, their VP of corporate communications, invited me to the agency's midtown offices to dispel my misconceptions.

If you watched the entire Golden Globes last night, you witnessed the reanimation of a corpse (no, not Warren Beatty). Popcorn peddler Orville Redenbacher, who suffered a heart attack and drowned in his tub in 1995 (now his products have zero trans fat), was Frankensteined with parts of three actors—one each for voice, body and face—to create a fucking creepy digital Deadenbacher.