Kim Kardashian's search for an Emmys dress frustrates. Lindsay Lohan drives a Maserati after midnight. Taylor Swift frolics with a possible boyfriend. Heidi Montag worries about her face falling off. TGIFriday gossip.

America's favorite babydaddy Levi Johnston, who's running for mayor of Wasilla, caressed a $2,000 rifle during his first campaign stop. Naturally, it was at a gun shop and a camera crew was involved. This doesn't make up for Playgirl.

Levi Johnston, who had a baby with vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's daughter last year, and is now famous in that vague, 21st-century way, is running for political office in Wasilla—where Palin was once mayor. Here's his filing.

The Levi Johnston-Bristol Palin custody battle finally ends. The Lohans talk about their daughter. Nicole Richie got a new cat. Miley Cyrus wants a boob job. What's more humiliating than being dumped via press release? Welcome to Saturday Gossip Roundup.

[Back in New York City for the first time since he failed to show his johnson and failed to marry Bristol Palin (for the second time), reality star hopeful Levi Johnston greets his fans. Image via WENN.]

Levi Johnston stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! to discuss his on-again/ off-again relationship with Bristol Palin and his candidacy for mayor of Wasilla. Always the helper, Kimmel presented Johnston with some campaign materials and encouragement.

Not only does no network want to buy the proposed reality show wherein Levi Johnston runs for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, now they're getting mean about it behind his back. Let's look at the nasty things Hollywood types are saying.

Today the New York Daily News tries to blame Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods, Naomi Campbell and Levi Johnston's recent mishaps on the summer heat. "Sizzling summer meltdowns," the headline screams. Unfortunately, the two are completely unrelated.

Shakespalin dared to stand up to a critic today and met questions about her time as mayor with "protecting the Constitution." In similarly laughable news, Levi has announced a Wasilla mayorship bid.

As the Winslet-Mendes marriage fell apart, Kate "freaked out" over her Mendes-directed sex scenes with Leonardo. Snooki on sobering up in jail: "It happens to the best of us." Tuesday gossip is a matter of opinion.

Levi Johnston, the ex-fiancé of former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, will run for office in Wasilla, the town where Palin served as mayor. Which office? Um, he hasn't filed yet. And the deadline was July 30.

Who needs the Palins? Levi Johnston has reportedly signed a solo reality TV deal.

A Siegfried & Roy sex tape scandal involves unwanted groping and a male employee. Emma Watson cuts her hair. Laurence Fishburne offers $1 million to block his daughter's porn debut. Justin Timberlake goes gay. TGIFriday gossip.

Katy Perry pontificates on Google Alert addictions. Laurence Fishburne isn't speaking to his porn star daughter. George Clooney's girlfriend knows you're jealous of her, and she will rub her happiness in your face. Wednesday gossip indulges bad habits.

Alas! America's first family Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called it quits, again, after Johnston told Palin he may have fathered a child with an ex-girlfriend. Is there any hope? Levi's lawyer thinks so!

Snooki avoids spending the night in jail. Levi Johnston's ex-girlfriend denies he knocked her up. Casey Affleck has more trouble on his hands. Oh, and there's a big wedding happening today. It's time for a delayed installment of Saturday gossip.

Following reports that Levi Johnston's ex-girlfriend's been knocked up, Bristol Palin has stopped speaking to her fiance, communicating with him solely via text message while he cavorts in California with the sexy daughter of a former pro-football star.

Paris Hilton denies getting paid $1 million to be a Malaysian playboy's personal Barbie doll. George Clooney's girlfriend is tied to an Italian cocaine scandal. An Inception star talks about gay trysts. Thursday gossip works hard for its money.

Behold the Taiwanese CGI video that explores Sarah Palin's potential 2012 run at president. Here you will watch Palin pass "First Dude" Todd a joint, dance exotically for campaign funds, come up with "refudiate," and parachute into a Teabagger rally.

America's favorite babydaddy, Levi Johnson, is scheduled to film an R&B music video next month with singer Brittani Senser. He'll play a man driven from his lover by her meddling mother. Who do you think that's supposed to be?