The FDA is to be commended for consistently raising the vomit-bar when it comes to cigarette warnings. Next month, they're rolling out nine graphic new labels — collect them all! — featuring the most impressive-looking cancer lungs and sliced-open cadavers we've seen to date. Take that, Saw movie campaign! But your favorite nic-pushers are done playing Mr. Nice Tobacco Conglomerate: They're fighting back! With lawyers!

To convince a German court that Samsung's Galaxy Tab is an iPad knockoff, Apple altered a picture to make the Galaxy Tab look more like an iPad knockoff. But it's not like Apple has a long record of photo tampering!

A "friend" of George Soros says the 81-year-old Hungarian mogul used to make his Brazilian ex-girlfriend Adriana Ferreyr sit at the children's table during his Sunday brunches in the Hamptons—ostensibly because she's 28, which is very young.

George Soros, Al Gore's favorite billionaire, was sued for $50 million in Manhattan yesterday by his ex-girlfriend, Brazilian soap star Adriana Ferreyr. She claims that Soros reneged on his promise to give her a $1.9 million New York apartment and that he beat her.

Paul Ceglia has decamped to Ireland in the middle of his lawsuit to seize control of Facebook. The convicted felon says he fled following harassment from Facebook private investigators. But maybe Ceglia, described by neighbors as a con man, is more worried about the suspicious emails he submitted as evidence.

Nafissatou Diallo, the hotel maid who says disgraced French politician Dominique Strauss-Kahn raped her, launched a civil lawsuit today.

In a motion to dismiss a court case this week, we learned that a woman is suing Planet Sushi on New York's Upper West Side. Why? Because she thinks there was semen in the spicy sauce that came alongside a delivery order of tuna rolls. Per the filing:

The ab-sessed Jersey Shore shit-stirrer The Situation is being sued by the company that produced his clothing line, claiming Sitch breached his contract by not promoting the line. Is this really bad news for anyone?

If Hilton hotel guest Rodney Harmon had known that the USA Today left by hotel staff outside his door wasn't free, he wouldn't have read it. But he did read it, and the hotel charged him the 75-cent fee, so now Harmon's suing Hilton hotels in federal court.

"We represent...the family of the late Mickey Carroll, star of The Wizard of Oz, whose estate you've bilked for $500,000." Hm. Not quite as catchy as "The Lollipop Guild." But that's exactly what new court documents claim in a legal battle currently underway in Carroll's hometown of St. Louis.

Are you familiar with freshman Republican Rep. Joe Walsh? No? That's okay! Just turn on any cable news channel at any time. He'll be there. Producers love to book him, and he loves to be booked. His politics can best be described as anti-any-compromise-ever, and he is rude. Another interesting thing about Joe Walsh is that his ex-wife is suing him for $117,437 in unpaid child support.

When nearly everyone thinks you're a con artist, it helps to have credible friends at your side. Paul Ceglia, the would be owner of Facebook, will have to do without such support; he's reportedly just plowed through his fourth law firm.

18-year-old Kymberly Wimberly is suing her McGehee, Arkansas public high school for barring her from being valedictorian because of her race. (As opposed to the equally unfair but way less depressing "funny name issue.") Kym's federal lawsuit claims she had the highest GPA in her class and was told she would be valedictorian, but got pushed out last minute for white students.

Today, with the help of the New Jersey ACLU, Gawker filed a civil complaint against the office of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie under the state's Open Records Act. We're seeking records of Christie's communications with Fox News chairman Roger Ailes. Christie claims they should remain secret under the state's executive privilege. We disagree.

The Tennessee-based Tea Party Nation, a group which even some Tea Party warriors consider a bit "scammy," was forced to cancel its National Tea Party Unity Convention in Las Vegas last year over a lack of demand. But it appears that it may not have canceled promptly enough to avoid paying! So the Las Vegas resort that TPN had booked out is suing the group for hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid bills.

A judge ruled today that the Moghul Express restaurant in Edison, New Jersey, can be sued by a group of strictly vegetarian Hindus after the restaurant accidentally served them meat-filled samosas. It looks like the 16 afflicted non-meat eaters are going to get a free trip for their troubles.

Do people always tell you that you look "just like" someone else they know? Do you live and drive in Massachusetts? If yes and yes, then you might be in danger of losing your driving privileges, just like John H. Gass did.

If you want a job in America today, you'll probably end up working in a restaurant. (Yay!) One in ten Americans already work in restaurants or bars, and the WSJ says that since the recession hit, restaurant jobs have increased at more than twice the rate of other jobs.

Sandra Rawline's had gray hair since she was in her 20s, because of genes 'n' things. For years, her employer didn't seem to mind. But when her company decided to move to fancier digs, Rawline's boss told her to dye her hair to look more "upscale."

Last Fourth of July, carnivorous dock worker Nolan Koewler got a bit more independence than he bargained for when his employer, Dillard's department store, fired him for eating two hot dogs left over from an employee picnic. Then Dillard's tried to deny him unemployment!