If you're some boring nobody with a pedestrian name like John Smith or Ann Jones (no offense guys!), it's no big whoop if some book publisher falsely attributes their fancy new pastry cookbook to you. But when you're famous and come with a name as exotic and memorable as, say, Florian Bellanger or Ludovic Augendre, and a publisher does that, then it's a very big deal.
It's bad enough when your wife divorces you over a lack of sex and the judge rules you "solely responsible." It's worse when she takes you back to court two years later and garners 10,000 euro in damages.
For eight years, Edward Hairston diligently contributed to his lottery office pool—eight long, jackpot-free years. While he was on medical leave, his coworkers played the Mega Millions and won $99 million. Legal issue: Is some of that money rightfully Hairston's?
A New Jersey woman sued her employer after being told to remove her deceased daughter's ballet slippers and photo from her cubicle and to also pretend like the girl "did not exist." Whoah, harsh! But perfectly legal, said the court presiding over her case.
Arizona, which we are still not convinced isn't a hoax, is the home of not one but two of our nation's finest lawmen: Squat fascist Sheriff Joe Arpaio and sex slaver Steven Seagal, who is starring in a reality TV show where he... is a policeman, sort of. Well! Now they are both getting sued for killing a puppy.
Facebook might call it a settlement, but there's no question that the gigantic social network is effectively surrendering to scrappy Austin, Texas mockery hub Lamebook. The two sides have ended a federal lawsuit with Lamebook keeping its name and Facebook-like logo, and Facebook slinking back to California.
An Ohio teacher named Susan Clements-Jeffrey bought a stolen laptop from a student, had a sexually explicit communication with her boyfriend via webcam, and is now suing a laptop tracking company for recording it.
Some big news in the telecom world today, as the Justice Department has sued to block AT&T's $39 billion purchase of T-Mobile on antitrust grounds. This is just like in the old days, when antitrust laws were enforced.
What makes Kimberly Garrity the worst mother in the world, according to her children? Well, when they were growing up she gave them birthday cards with stupid tomatoes on the front, forced them to wear their seat belts, and refused to take them to car shows. This caused them suffering.
The big, scary, speed-popping, Harley-revving, Altamont-terrorizing crime syndicate known as the Hells Angels are angry — and you don't want to see them when they're angry. Because they'll call their lawyers! What they are angry about is this T-shirt, produced by L.A.-based Wildfox Couture, which bears the slogan "My Boyfriend s a Hells Angel."
So this is how it is, then? Phillip Seaton (pictured)—an innocent man who went in for a routine adult circumcision and awoke to find that a ding dong doc had dinged his ding dong till it was clean gone—has been awarded not one red cent by a jury of his peers. (A "six-man, six-woman jury," his peers? Are they, really? Are they? Penis peers? Are they?)
Phillip Seaton, the unlucky ducky whose bratwurst went bye-bye after his chopper doctor turned pecker wrecker, is finally having his day in court. Tell us, "Dr." John Patterson (pictured grinning with his high-priced attorney; do you find something funny, sir?), how did a simple circumcision become a member dismembering, leaving Phillip Seaton to wake up wangless without even a chance to bid tally-ho to his tallywhacker?
A Nebraska man has filed a medical malpractice lawsuit against a Dallas hospital for having entered for a routine tonsillectomy, and exited a human tracking device.
Here's a lawsuit that might leave you scratching your head: The parents of a 15-year-old model were apparently aware that photographer Jason Lee Parry was snapping her around L.A. in March 2010, in a shoot that required her to pose "in a blatantly salacious manner with her legs spread, without a bra, revealing portions of her breasts," according to the filing. Uh, okay. But now they're suing Urban Outfitters — as well as two other retailers, and Parry himself — for putting those images on T-shirts and other merchandise, and selling them in their stores. They're seeking $28 million in damages.
In your hopeful Wednesday media column: someone gives Capital New York some dough, Chris Rovzar leaves New York, Elisabeth Murdoch has tons of News Corp shareholder cash, Village Voice sex lawsuit dismissed, and the world's highest paid authors.
