It is fortunate that the legal profession is renowned for its graceful sense of humor about its own problems, because the "new generation" of lawyers will consist only of one cute dog, because everyone else knows that going to law school would be the worst possible decision that a young adult can make except for eating that third slice of Pizza Hut's new Cheesy Bites™ pizza simulacrum. Let's check in on the depressing mire of gloom that is the legal profession and its educational antecedents, shall we?

We must admit that we will never ever tire of directing your attention to the accumulation of evidence that "law school" is, by and large, a massive fraud perpetrated upon society's most overacquisitive young driftabouts, and one whose effect is to turn out a massive class of highly indebted functionaries whose skill set is not only undeveloped to the point of worthlessness, but that, when developed, is, for the most part, detrimental to the function of justice. The fact that law school's popularity is crumbling away as the magnitude of the systemic scam becomes ever more apparent can only be taken as a redeeming ray of hope for the future of our nation's collective critical thinking skills.

In case you've forgotten, let us take this opportunity to remind you: do not go to law school. Law school is worthless. Even more worthless than you think. Law school will not make you happy. The smart kids are not going to law school. You should not go to law school.

Puppies and law school go together like leeches and community college. They're just a natural pair. Modern law school is little more than a slow process of coming to the realization that you really never should have gone to law school in the first place. What to do when the inevitable depression sets in? Play with dogs! Dogs, dogs, dogs. Dogs will take the pain away.

All that wailing against law schools by unemployed law school grads is finally paying off: law schools—like the wicked witch that is an imperfect but not altogether inappropriate metaphor for them—are melting, melting before your schadenfreude-laden eyes!

Preston Mitchum just graduated from North Carolina Central University's law school. He had the honor of giving a speech at graduation. Instead of writing his own speech, Preston decided to plagiarize the one above, that he found on YouTube.

Law school is a huge ripoff—a catch-all haven for slackers and the existentially aimless, where you'll go into a huge amount of debt in order to surround yourself with beer pong-players and cute little dogs, and emerge unemployable, with nothing to do with your worthless new skills except sue to try to get your law school tuition back. Now, we can add to that list: they'll bait-and-switch your ass out of scholarship money, on purpose!

The many perils of law school—how we love to cover them! As does the Lamestream Media. In fact, competition for stories about law school is now so strict among media outlets that the New York Times—once considered a "prestigious" news outlet dedicated to matters of public import—has written and published an entire story about how law students can borrow a dog to play with for 30 minutes at a time.

Not to be immodest, but our research (reading the newspaper) indicated long ago that going to law school was a sucker move, for suckers. Why go to law school? All it is is racist beer pong and racist emails, and when you graduate your worthless degree won't get you a job, and you get all bitter and eventually find yourself in the comments of a Gawker post about law schools, telling me to fuck off for making fun of lawyers, because do I even appreciate what all the lawyers in history have done for the advancement of human freedom while I just sit around making jokes about something I don't even understand, asshole?

Oh, cool: at the University of Virginia law school there's a "Feb Club" that hosts themed parties throughout February. Then they put up party pics on their blog. Here's one from their latest bash: note the awesome Confederate flag beer pong tables.

Moderately good news, unemployed college graduates! A new report on hiring trends says that hiring of graduates with bachelor's degrees or MBAs will surge by 10% next year. Green shoots! As long as you didn't go to law school.

An anonymous third-year student at Boston College Law School has sent an open letter to the school's dean offering to leave school after this semester in exchange for a full refund, because the job scene is so bleak. Seems fair?

It's rough out there for law school grads. Faced with loads of debt, a worthless degree, and few career prospects, some have already resorted to getting worthwhile jobs. Others have a better idea: complaining about it.

Today we looked at how young lawyers are shit out of luck. This inspired one commenter to tell us a story about his brother, his stepmother, and some passive aggressive law school attending.

Christopher Stone, the sleazy owner of the teen gossip/porn websites stickydrama and sticky-n00dz has been bragging recently about how he got into law school. Attention, mysterious law school! This man spends his free time harassing teenagers and videotaping live rapes.

Did you do the stupid thing that a lot of people have done recently and go to law school, just because you're aimless and you figured it would be a productive use of time "in the long run?" Sucker.

Education: what is it for? Education exists to get you a job, and to give educators a job. Money is the root of education. So grade inflation, rich-kid perks, and dumbing down of grad schools are justified. For money!

As comment boards and campus rumormills churn on the subject of third-year Harvard law student Stephanie Grace's email on the subject of white intellectual supremacy, a new narrative emerges: Is Stephanie the victim of catty collegiate in-fighting?

Third-year Harvard Law student Stephanie Grace sent a mass email about whether black people are categorically less intelligent than white people. Now her campus, legal blogs, and the Black Law Students Association are up in arms, and Stephanie is hiding.

A leaked email from NYU Law's student listserv reveals a fight to book Snooki at a bargain-basement rate of $2000. As the email battle rages, Snooki's price rises. A comparative analysis reveals post-bar-brawl Snooki as the show's fastest-rising moneymaker.