[Former (!) "Hills"ian Lauren Conrad at a party for her new YA book; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Leo the Great dumped Bar Refaeli, Britney Spears is banging her agent at William Morris, Miley Cyrus dumped her boyfriend and is after Nick Jonas, Lauren Conrad's new novel will be horrendous, and David Carradine bought lots of sex toys.

• A recent Elle photoshoot with Britney Spears turned out to be a bit messier than expected. [P6]
• A photographer has filed suit against Chris Brown. He's claiming the singer's bodyguards beat him up when he tried to take pics of Brown in March. [Us]
• Is Anthony Weiner engaged to Huma Abedin? [P6]
• Jay-Z is supposedly in talks with Lyor Cohen to set up a new record label at Warner Music. [NYDN]
• Chace Crawford may be having a fling with 19-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Esti Ginzburg. [P6]
• Jane Fonda knows how to travel. She pretends she's injured so she can cruise through security in a wheelchair, apparently. [NYDN]
• Get ready: Prince Harry arrives in NYC tomorrow. [NYDN]

Sigh. We warned you this day would come. Lauren Conrad, the moon-faced star of MTV's The Hills, is set to release her first young adult novel. And her former intern haunt Teen Vogue has an excerpt.

• It wouldn't be fashion's biggest night without a bit of drama thrown in to spice things up. Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington are reportedly skipping the Costume Institute gala this evening, possibly because Kate Moss was chosen to co-chair the event; meanwhile, Karl Lagerfeld, Azzedine Alaia, and Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana are all staying home, perhaps because Marc Jacobs has "commandeered the event" by buying two tables and dressing Moss, Madonna, and Kerry Washington. [P6]
• The Chelsea Clinton wedding rumors continue: The Boston Globe reports the former first daughter and Marc Mezvinsky may get hitched at Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's home on Martha's Vineyard in August, which is when the Obamas will be in town, too. [BG, NYDN]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon says picking on her has become "the new recession vocation." Sounds about right. [R&M]

Lauren Conrad's most recent and, let's face it, quite possibly last appearance on the Late Show was an odd cocktail of passive-aggressive barbs and ribald, lusty commentary from host David Letterman.

Long ago, two merchandising roads diverged in Hollywood, and Lauren Conrad took the pricey one less traveled by plastic reality show dolls, while Heidi Montag went cheap. Well, now Conrad is going cheap, too.

• Matthew Williamson's H&M line goes on sale tomorrow at 9AM. Prepare for a mob scene! [NYM]
• Lauren Conrad is teaming up with Kohl's to introduce "a casual California-inspired clothing line for young women." And she was kind enough to make a video about it, too. [NYT, Racked]
• It's official: Peter Copping is the new artistic director at Nina Ricci, where he'll have the unenviable task of filling the void left by Olivier Theyskens. [WWD, Style.com]
• André Leon Talley's "custom Obama tribute pin" is awfully chic, don't you agree? [FWD]

Marisa Tomei walking with her boyfriend, Logan Marshall Green ... Jon Stewart shopping with his wife and kids on 8th and Broadway ... Christy Turlington and Ed Burns crossing the street with their kids in Tribeca ... ... Lauren Conrad leaving JFK ... Joy Bryant holding a baby during a lunch at Gemma ... Anderson Cooper walking by himself ... Jay-Z and Beyonce shopping in Soho ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber walking to Pinkberry with their son and dog ... Rachel McAdams and Josh Lucas getting out of a car in front of their hotel in Soho ... Heidi Klum and Seal arriving at LaGuardia with their kids ... Josh Hartnett walking with a friend in Soho ... and Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott leaving dinner at Cipriani Downtown.

Bar Refaeli eating lunch at Bar Pitti ... Lauren Conrad shopping with a friend at Topshop ... Josh Hartnett walking in Tribeca ... Seal leaving the Equinox in Soho ... Jerry Seinfeld arriving at Yankee Stadium right before Jay-Z turned up ... Geraldo Rivera walking in Midtown ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber jogging downtown ... Ben Affleck talking on his cell phone outside Rockefeller Center ... Agyness Deyn shooting a commercial with Gabriel Aubrey and later getting into an SUV... Ciara leaving her hotel ... and Joy and Regis Philbin walking home on the Upper West Side.

Sandra Bernhard heading into a yoga studio in the West Village ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her Village townhouse with a carton of Easter eggs ... Heidi Klum carrying son Johan into FAO Schwarz ... Dave Matthews crossing the street ... Liam Neeson watching the Knicks play at Madison Square Garden with his sons Michael and Daniel, just a few seats away from where Spike Lee is sitting ... Rachel McAdams heading into her hotel ... Lauren Conrad arriving at JFK ... Tory Spelling leaving NBC studios at Rockefeller Center ... Wilmer Valderrama walking on the Lower East Side ... and Seal leaving a hotel in Soho.

• The publisher of the Los Angeles Times is defending his decision to put an ad disguised as a news story on the front page of the paper yesterday. [LAT]
• A Fox Entertainment employee has reportedly been arrested for stealing the personal information of other Fox employees. [TVN]
• NBC is developing a sitcom based on George Gurley's Observer column. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham and Lauren Conrad were among the "most salable cover faces" for fashion magazines in 2008. The least? Nicole Kidman, Carrie Underwood, and Rachel Weisz. [WWD]
• Dylan Ratigan talks about his departure from CNBC and move to ABC. [BI]
• Speaking of covers, are struggling celebrity tabloids paying for them? [NYP]
• The Daily Beast, Tina Brown's website, will introduce ads shortly. [AdAge]
• Fox News chairman Roger Ailes and his wife, Elizabeth, have purchased another local newspaper in Putnam County. [Portfolio]
• NBC will air a "comedy showcase" featuring Jay Leno on May 19. [NYT]

Farewell, last season's Suri Cruise fashions. Goodbye, Amy Winehouse's bathing suit. Adieu, humanoid version of Lauren Conrad. And so long, LiLo and SamRon's fairytale romance.

• Lauren Conrad isn't folding her clothing line. She's just taking a "couple of seasons" off, silly. [SW]
• Topshop gave away free stuff today. [Racked, NYM]
• Jason Wu has yet to meet Michelle Obama in person! Clearly, this outrage must be rectified at once. Get to work, Desirée. [Vogue UK]
• Thom Browne has accumulated so much debt that he may lose control of his own company. [NYP]
• Is Filene's Basement about to go bust? [WWD]
• A law under discussion in Texas and Florida would require minors to get a doctor's note before using a tanning bed. And the Florida provision would ban tanning for anyone under the age of 16. Bastards! [Style.com]

Because they're lesbians. No, seriously, that is why both the famous actress and the famous photographer are FLAT BROKE. Because of godless girl-love. Also, Matt Lauer ran into a deer.

• Bruce Willis tied the knot with Victoria's Secret model Emma Heming this weekend at his home in Turks & Caicos. He's 54; she's 30. Guests at the wedding included his daughters, Madonna, and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. [NYP, LAT]
• Natasha Bedingfield got married on Saturday, too, to a California businessman in Malibu. [People]
• 64-year-old tech billionaire Jim Clark married his 28-year-old girlfriend this weekend with a four-day event on Richard Branson's Necker Island. Guests included Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and Ed Norton. [NYP]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart finally got engaged. [People]
• Alas, it's not all happy news: Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. have reportedly broken up. [NYM]

• It was clear that Michael Wolff was a bad husband and a bad boss. But now it looks like he's a lousy son, too. Wolff is being sued by his poor 85-year-old mother-in-law for trying to evict her from her one-bedroom apartment so he could sell it and collect a profit. [P6]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday and was charged with assault and making criminal threats. He faces four years in state prison if convicted. [NYP, Us]
• Marc Anthony touched the leg of a woman other than JLo, which means he was either "flirting with danger" or just being nice to a "longtime friend." [Star]
• Just another typical Friday: Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault for punching a fan last year. [Reuters]

• Lindsay Lohan says she wants to convert to Judaism so she can "prove her commitment" to girlfriend Sam Ronson. She even went to the great trouble of updating her Facebook status to "I'm converting." [Daily Mail, P6]
• Katie Holmes looked "gaunt and tired" at an LA restaurant over the weekend. It could just be the elaborate security precautions wearing her down: Tom's security detail insisted on "sweeping" the eatery before anyone sat down to eat. [NYDN, MSNBC]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna have left Miami for LA and are now staying at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. The public outrage over the reconciliation continues, though. [E!, LAT, OK!, People]
• Jimmy Fallon looked a bit "awkward" and "stiff" when his talk show made its debut last night with guests Robert De Niro and Justin Timberlake. [Us]

• Is Madonna's relationship with Jesus Luz purely platonic? The two are "quite close and cuddly, but not exactly romantic," and Jesus was spotted at a Kabbalah service "playing around more with Rocco than paying attention to Madonna," which can't be a good sign. [E!]
• Did marrying Tom Cruise ruin Katie Holmes' chances of ever having a movie career? Is Tom's sister secretly handling his PR even though she pretends to just be his assistant? So many questions! [Fox 411, P6]
• Amy Winehouse's estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil was released from jail yesterday. [The Sun]
• Martha Stewart's old friend Sam Waksal is now out of a halfway house and "ready to get back to work trying to find a cure for cancer." [NYDN]

[Lauren Conrad in Los Angeles; image via Bauer-Griffin]