Yesterday we heard the news that Larry King is leaving his long-running CNN show. As something of a tribute, we put together a brief compilation of some delightfully batty Larry moments. Gaze and remember our befuddled hero.

The cops who busted Lindsay Lohan mistook her drug stash for a crushed mint. Tinsley Mortimer faked a relationship. John McCain loves to gamble. Things get even dicier for The Office. Hump day's gossip is full of boobs.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this lede. Larry King, my boo 4EVER and legendary, suspenders-wearing CNN broadcaster, announced his retirement tonight—and I WANT TO DIE. Inside, video of King's statement and Bill Maher's reaction.

Larry King is announcing the end of his show tonight, according to a posting on his website. He won't be leaving CNN and will "continue to contribute... with periodic specials." Click through for statement, speculation, and CNN memos.

In your sultry Wednesday media column: Anna Wintour's PR man retires, Lee Siegel bitches and bitches, and the oil spill is the only thing on TV, but nobody will watch if Larry King's the one talking about it.

Larry King hosted a live benefit tonight for... the Gulf of Mexico? Anyway, just like King's last benefit (seriously, watch this), it was a clusterf*ck. But Justin Bieber's weird/slow/gangsta "plea," and King's creepy response, took the awkward cake. Video inside.

In your puerile Monday media column: Michael Wolff vs. Tony Judt, a newspaper's futile search for accountability in online comments, fake press releases get slightly more difficult, and Larry King is immortal.

Page Six is flogging a rumor that America's Got Talent judge (and actual journalist) Piers Morgan will take over for CNN's ratings-plagued Larry King in October. We really want the guy to retire, but can't we do better than Piers?

Praise be the gods of tabloid: Brad Pitt's chin scraggle of horror is gone. Lindsay Lohan's paid appearances are increasingly desperate. Joe Jackson blames his wife for Michael's death. Monday gossip starts the week with a clean slate.

Larry King's contract runs out in 2011. Who will replace him? It looks increasingly likely that it will be this man: Piers Morgan, the British television personality familiar to US viewers as the guy who won Celebrity Apprentice in 2008.

Now that Madonna's a swinging single cougar, Gwyn refuses to study Kabbalah with her. Star Jones writes The Devil Wears Prada about Barbara Walters. Britney faces two sex scandals. Heidi Montag just wants one. Thursday gossip has an achy-breaky heart.

Larry King's wife, Shawn King, overdosed on pills on May 28, according to RadarOnline. In a recording of the 911 call, her father tells the operator "I can't wake her up," and "I don't think she did it on purpose."

CNN's Larry King scored his lowest ratings in nearly 20 years in May.

OMGAGA! Tonight's episode of Larry King Live was an hour full of Lady Gaga goodness—and it delivered. Video of the best moments—awkward exchanges, Gaga's thoughts on fame and religion, a preview of the "Alejandro" video, and more—is inside.

What's the best part of Lady Gaga's Larry King Live interview tonight? It's not her talk about lupus, Michael Jackson, or "don't ask, don't tell." It's her fabulous variation of the CNN host's famous uniform. They're practically twins!

Today's New York Times takes on the problem of Larry King. Specifically, the problem that no one is watching him. But that's not just Larry King's problem! His whole network has that problem. Because it is awful.

Will Lindsay playing a porn star destroy her career (more?). Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are no longer fighting, physically or emotionally. Mel Gibson may have had sex with a porn producer. Sunday's gossip roundup is strangely porn-y.

When Larry King's eighth divorce became public knowledge, we quickly found out that Larry was in love with his wife's sister and his wife was diddling their kids' baseball coach. Now that coach wants to cash in by baring all.

She's divorcing Jesse and will raise the baby alone. Larry King is a swinger. Lindsay blames a tawdry lie on her dad, who blames Perez Hilton. Courtney Love says Gavin cheated on Gwen with her. Wednesday's gossip cometh.

Now she's in an arm brace—but Tito Ortiz says she's a drug-addicted liar. Jesse James' ring finger is naked. Michael Lohan fears Lindsay is "the next Corey Haim." Whitney Houston sings off-key. Tuesday's gossip roundup cometh.