[Kristin Cavallari (remember her?) from "Laguna Beach" (remember that?) at her birthday party last night. She's 33 today. (This is a joke.) Happy bday KCa! INF]

[John Fitzgerald Page is an extra on the third installment of 'Van Wilder 3'. Photo via JFP himself.]

After a bumpy spring protecting and investing their billion dollar baby Miley Cyrus, today brings news that there may be additional troubles brewing over at the Mouse House. 15-year old Selena Gomez, the rising star of the newest Disney series Wizards Of Waverly Place, whose elevator pitch was most likely "Gossip Girl Meets Harry Potter Meets Charmed But Like, Happy!," is reportedly usurping the scandal-plagued Cyrus' dimming star power. Quietly crowned “The Next Miley Cyrus” by various newsies, the Miley lookalike (minus gummy smile, plus premature Jolie-level hotness) plays Alex, whose painfully ironic mantra is "cast magic first, ask questions later." But the turbulence among competing teens trying to catch their big break by stepping over their peers left and right is a trend as old as the Mousketeers’ first dimpled disciples. After the jump, we count down our top three favorite teen feuds of yesteryear.

Former reality TV star Kristin Cavallari's publicist reached a near breaking point at the Scarlet series launch party Monday night in Hollywood. The publicist began to wonder what it is she's getting paid to do: advise and help increase her client's media exposure or hold her purse while she flirts some guy from the CW while ignoring the important media outlets like The Insider and Inside Edition. It was then that the publicist wished that she had been offered a course in college about how to mask one's contempt for their future clients. That would've been much more useful than the nine credits she wasted taking science classes.

• It's true: Larry Birkhead does look pretty psycho in the baby cheesecake shots he sold to OK. [NYP]
  

There's something refreshing about a celebrity who can quickly recognize, accept, then proudly claim their rigidly fated, D-list status. Take for example Kristin Cavallari, who has parlayed a stint on MTV's Laguna Beach, playing nothing more than a loosely scripted version of her spoiled, horny self, into a full-time career packed with all kinds of exciting opportunities to pick up Jessica Simpson's sloppy seconds: