That wonderful scent of stale champagne and hairspray haze you smell is the waft aroma from the continued residence of New York Fashion Week at the tents in Lincoln Center. What did the models, designers, celebrities, and assorted mayhem makers get up to today. Let's look.

Ronson fails a breathalyzer before breakfast. Lindsay parties all night with Paris. Vanessa Minnillo calls Jessica Simpson an "elephant." J.Lo's gives her first post-divorce interview, then gets naked. Tuesday gossip starts early or ends late, depending.

Your favoritest and blondest celeb couple has called it quits. Alas, alack. Also today: Leighton Meester's love life heats up, Hugh Hefner's cools down, and Kristin Cavallari is very sad.

Lindsay Lohan screams drunkenly into the void. Kristin Cavallari's fiance dumps her. Leighton Meester sues her mother. Chris Evans is "drowning" in "raging insecurity." Ben Affleck has Bieber hair. Monday gossip is a lost cause.

January Jones is expecting, but won't say who the father is. Kristen Stewart wants to puke blood. Paris Hilton's attacker thought he was going to marry her, and will now go to jail. Friday gossip is a royal-wedding-free zone.

The fallout from Nic Cage's night of drunken thrashing continues. Robert Pattinson's fear of clowns is actually quite reasonable. Charlie Sheen has terrible body odor. Some actress bitchslaps Paris Hilton on Twitter. Here's your Tuesday gossip.

In a refreshingly candid interview this morning, Kristin Cavallari spoke frankly about how "real" the two reality shows (Laguna Beach, The Hills) that launched her info relevance actually were. Her stories include tales of bribery, scheduled meetings and pushy producers.

Following in Lindsay and Dina's footsteps, Kristin partied with her mom last weekend. Unfortunately, the two decided to drive themselves home, resulting in a DUI for the mom. Inside, TMZ describes Kristin's bizarre behavior after they were pulled over.

Tonight, an entire era of pointless, vapid reality television ended when The Hills signed off for forever. After four years of drinking, fighting, crying, breaking up and making frienemies, the girls examined their futures and it all ended for reals.

Kristin Cavallari of "The Hills" dropped by Chelsea Lately last night, and the pair gabbed about being bitches and the mysteries of Brody Jenner. Is it just us, or does it look like Kristin is trying to become Chelsea's doppelganger?

Tonight, the crew of The Hills left the sun and beaches of Southern California for the... uh... Sun and beaches of Costa Rica, where Kristin made quick friends with a lip-ringed bartender. Apparently, Brody can't take what he dishes out.

[Kristin Cavallari must be sweating so much in this studded leather mini and hot pink spiked heels, worn in the middle of the day at Los Angeles' E! Studios. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

It was the same old song and dance - or drink and fight, for that matter - on tonight's episode of The Hills. And once again in the middle of it all is Bromance Jenner. Some things never change.

Confrontation was the name of the game tonight on the Hills. People got dumped, girls got all up in each others' grills and Brody Jenner continued to be lame. One highlight: someone unironically called Ryan Cabrera a rocker. HA!

Help. Quick. Someone alert the authorities, because there is clearly something in Los Angeles' water supply that makes people constantly exercise bad judgment. Thanks to Brody and Kristin, tonight's episode of The Hills was concrete evidence to support this claim.

Sandra was in Beverly Hills all week, but nobody got her picture. She should teach seminars to Lindsay Lohan, who got caught partying last night. Alicia Keys is pregnant and engaged. Gary Coleman is in the hospital. TGIFriday gossip.

The girls of The Hills unanimously decided that the antics had become too much and cut ties with Spencer and Heidi, proving that the crazy train can only roll so far before it hits the end of the line.

Courtney screams at her assistant and threw designer garments everywhere. Lindsay Lohan gets bounced at a party in Williamsburg. Matt Lauer isn't having an affair with Whitney Houston's stepsister. Kristin Cavallari shows her panties and catfights. TGIFriday gossip.

Last week, the resculpted Heidi went home for the first time. Tonight's episode of the Hills saw Spencer taking over as conductor of his family's crazy train and ruin a perfectly good BBQ with crystals and dramatics.

Forget Arizona. We're going to boycott The Hills this season, because it's managed to go from mildly amusing horrorshow to something far more sinister. It's a dark and ugly show, with no redeeming value. Don't watch it.