The nude woman who got Charlie Sheen hospitalized says he hit her and has hired a lawyer. Billy Ray Cyrus gets a divorce. David Arquette cried during his first post-Courteney sexual encounter. Thursday gossip shall overcome.

Reggie Bush did not take the news that Kim's got a new man serenely. When he texts her vitriolic rants about not putting a ring on it, Kim enlists her mom and bff to craft the perfect mature response.

A zen koan: If Taylor Momsen bares her breasts to a crowd but tabloids can't publish the pictures because she's underage, is it really a celebrity scandal? Of course it is! Saturday Gossip Roundup will bring you peace and prosperity.

Another day of Lindsay Lohan reckoning is nigh. Kim Kardashian's birthday cake will be encrusted in diamonds. The Sister Wives polygamists are actually kinda incestuous. Like, more than we realized the first time around. TGIFriday gossip.

Goldie Hawn tells an awkward story about her daughter's birth. Beyonce might be pregnant. Jean-Claude Van Damme has a heart attack. J.Lo's babies are Gucci models. Wednesday gossip is a photo album of embarrassing baby pictures.

You can go to over-the-hill sex tape actress Kim Kardashian's 30th birthday party in New York on Friday. You just have to pay between $1,000 and $2,500 to reserve a table. Your personal invite below.

A new explanation for Bieber's laser tag freak out emerges. Rooney Mara pierces her nipples. Kim Kardashian will never again go naked. Elin Nordegren got $110 million from Tiger? Monday gossip grapples with the bullying crisis afflicting our gay tweens.

[Kim Kardashian, her sister Kourtney Kardashian, her boyfriend Scott Disick and her baby, whose actual name is Mason Dash, for some reason, leave New York via JFK Airport. Bon voyage, Kardashians! Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Sure, she got famous by releasing a sex tape, but it took these photos from the new issue of W to remind us there is nothing more beautiful in the world than Kim Kardashian's naked posterior. The NSFW pics inside.

The recording industry's Chosen One questions the machine that created him. Ashton and Demi "share love" in Israel. George Michael gets out of prison. Crystal Bowersox weds in a hemp dress decorated with seashells. Monday gossip has doubts.

Kim Kardashian: Attacked by hysterical drink throwing woman! Eminem washes his mouth out with soap at home. A television watchdog group goes crazy over starlets. Tiger Woods' ex-wife is a stalker? Saturday Gossip Roundup is a puritan.

[The Sisters Kardashian: Kim, Khloe and Kourtney, exit the Plaza Hotel in New York. Photo via Splash]

Posh reveals the secret to loving a guy with a ridiculous voice. Ashton's self-proclaimed mistress says he and Demi are swingers. Amy Winehouse says she's been clean for three years. Toni Braxton files for bankruptcy again. Thursday gossip has arrived.

James Franco poses for a transvestite magazine. Kim Kardashian is "down for some hookups." Michael Lohan tries to visit Lindsay and gets rejected. Freak escalator accident nearly kills Bruce Willis. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

[Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian film a scene for their reality show at family fashion boutique Dash's new New York location. Image via Splash.]

Shia LaBeouf: feuding with Frankie Muniz. The Kardashians are moving to New York. Miley Cyrus wore short shorts to a 21+ club. Britney spears is sued by another maid. Saturday Gossip Roundup is having a flashback.

[At Los Angeles International Airport, a TSA agent inspects a woman famous for being famous. Images via Bauer-Griffin, click to enlarge.]

Nadya Suleman has finally run through her resources. Kim Kardashian takes legal action over a blow-up doll. Oksana Grigorieva may have tried to kill a porn star. Bob Barker collapses at a gun range. TGIFriday gossip.

See the shopping bags in this picture? The stuff inside is worth more than your college education. Are Annette Bening and Warren Beatty on the rocks? Will Christina Hendricks do nude scenes? Thursday gossip asks hard questions.

Snooki sings a requiem for her coiffure of yore. Penelope Cruz confirms her pregnancy. Montana Fishburne is going to rehab. Chelsea Clinton averts her eyes from her husband. Come revel in the delights of Tuesday gossip.