Kids are annoying no matter how you slice it, but if they are crying their heads off and yelling "I want fucking pie!" when you're in line at a Burger King, the only natural recourse is to then buy every single pie in sight so that the kid just has to fucking deal. One man, a Gawker hero, claims on Reddit to have done just that.

Apparently, Pennsylvania news station WNEP had its coverage of the Wayne County Fair hijacked by 5-year-old Noah Ritter, apparently of Wilkes-Barre. Apparently, Noah has never been on live TV before, if you can believe that, but apparently he gets to watch TV after his grandpa watches the powerball.

Taylor Swift, gardener and cat enthusiast, killed you Sunday when she visited a 7-year-old cancer patient and offered to sing him any song he wanted, or just do some of her favorite things, like playing with Play-Doh or talking about Spider-Man or whatever. Authorities say the cause of your death was drowning in a flood of your own tears.

Six-year-old Jack recently had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his brain, which left without much mobility on the left side of his body. He's undergoing physical therapy to regain some arm movement, and one of his prescribed exercises is 4 reps of feeding treats to a friendly dog.

Sadie, age 5, has just confronted the fact that her adorable baby brother won't stay a baby forever. His little baby smiles will soon become slightly-less-adorable toddler smiles. And eventually, the icy finger of death will beckon her, her brother, and all of us. Probably when we're a hundred.

A cruise line is sticking to its "no refunds" policy after a family had to back out of a scheduled cruise because they discovered their 5-year-old son had cancer.

A Suffolk, U.K. woman says she had her breasts enhanced from an A to a G cup because her discomfort with them got in the way of raising her two-year-old son. Now that she has her implants, she's basically the mum of the year.

A curious kid has reportedly been banned from a Monroe, Conn., donut shop because he asked another customer whether she was pregnant. She was not. She was just in a donut shop.

Adult child Jimmy Kimmel recently welcomed his first baby with wife Molly McNearney. He wants to raise his daughter right, so he did the prudent thing and sought out advice from someone more grown-up: A 7-year-old boy.

Less than a day after he appeared in court for stealing a school bus, a Parker, Fla. 12-year-old allegedly stole a different bus and took it for a two-hour joyride.

This young driving ace is the Elwood Blues, the Ken Block, of parking a go-kart. Or, if you're a Top Gear fan, he's like The Stig—an anonymous stud whose identity is concealed by his racing suit.

2-year-old Kayden Elijah Kinckle was born with an omphalocele, a defect in his intestinal wall that caused his intestines and other organs to stick out through his navel. He also had "a band wrap around his legs and feet when he was in the womb," his mom writes, which led to the amputation of his right foot and left leg.

A seven-month-old girl was apparently abandoned Monday on a subway platform at Columbus Circle. Witnesses claim seeing a woman walk the child in its stroller off a northbound 1 train, leave the stroller and the child on the platform, and then turn around and get back on the train.

Abby Dean, a four-year-old from Washington, Wisc., was at home with a babysitter when two teenagers broke into her house and stole an Xbox, Wii, iPod, and her kitty coin bank. The babysitter told police both culprits were black and looked like Dean's next-door neighbors.

In a new report by the Environmental Working Group, a health-based research organization in D.C., it was revealed that children are ingesting dangerous levels of vitamin A, niacin, and zinc in fortified cereals whose added nutrients were calculated based on an adult diet.

This group of kids from Michigan's Grosse Pointe Music Academy presumably went through a dozen weekly rehearsals for their rock band class, all culminating in this: Playing Weezer's "Undone (The Sweater Song)"—a song that, judging by their ages, they're familiar with from Rock Band—at their big debut gig.

KFC has issued a $30,000 apology to the family of a 3-year-old Mississippi girl who was asked to leave one of their restaurants because her scarred face was "disrupting our customers."

Blogger Liesl Testwuide missed her son, who was off at summer camp—his first experience being away from home for longer than a night. She wrote to him every day, and couldn't wait to hear about the wholesome activities he was obviously doing with the new friends he'd surely make. The letter she got back was not the letter she expected.

Drummer Brad Kuehner of Alabama rock band band Atticus Avenue recently worked some extra practice time into his schedule by giving his toddler son, Max, a "drum beatin'," using his back as an improvised drum kit.

Young Jathan Muhar is graduating preschool in a tough job market, but he's got his priorities in order and knows exactly who he wants to be when he grows up. We could all stand to learn a thing or two from him.