Eleven students at Wesleyan University in Connecticut are being treated after overdosing on the drug MDMA, or "Molly," Reuters reports. One student, a sophomore, is in critical condition.

Do you remember what you were doing in first grade? Picking your butt? Thinking about ghosts? Wearing a cape? It's probably unlikely that you were gabbing about the Harvard crew team with your cubby buddies. Kids these days, well, they are.

Linda Klem of Kids Stop and Play Daycare in Holiday, Fla. has been charged by police with child abuse after she was caught on security camera kicking a sleeping 15-month-old.

A precocious 6 (and three quarters!)-year-old named Jack got a chance to ask astronomical badass and Cosmos host Neil deGrasse Tyson a question at Boston's Wilbur Theatre last night, and he cut right to the chase. Yo, Neil, he asked, "What's the meaning of life?"

A 5-year-old Florida girl is dead after her father threw her off a bridge and into Tampa Bay, 62 feet below, St. Petersburg police say.

The darling, precious season premiere of MasterChef Junior, one of the top five television shows about children wielding sharp knives, turned darling, precious, and bloody when one of the tiny chefs experienced the show's first-ever cute li'l slicing accident. There was blood everywhere.

Weddings: Good for you. Nobody cares. This kid, Harlan, and his sweet dance moves (actually, it's more like one really good move): A lone bright spot in several dark hours interacting with people's relatives.

What upset this kid—or "jit," in the parlance of our narrator—so much that he had to walk through a dollar store, aisle by aisle, and rip every affordably priced item off the shelves? Why was shorty going HAM in the Dollar General?

Evan, age 7, didn't think his plan to catch Santa on video would work—the North Pole is quite magically and technologically advanced, after all—but he convinced his big brother to set up a GoPro and went for it anyway.

An Oklahoma middle school teacher was fired last week for doing something you might do with your punkass cousins but probably shouldn't do if you're certified to teach minors: she put eleven kids in her Honda Accord and locked two of them in the trunk on a mission to find snacks. Snacks are important but they aren't that important, man.

No Christmas presents for grown ups.

The P.S. 132 building in Washington Heights might have the filthiest bathrooms in New York City.

This little girl, who's now destined for Ellen or something, was overcome with feelings watching the Chipettes (the '80s female version of Alvin and the Chipmunks) reunite a lost baby penguin with her family.

Bryan Cranston summons up everything he's learned playing both a genial dad and a meth-cooking, family-destroying megalomaniac for his latest challenging performance: Narrating the audiobook of You Have to Fucking Eat.

At Joe's Crab Shack, where your cousin brought you once and swears isn't always that gross, you can order a Shark Bite or a Shark Nibble. They sound similar—and in a busy restaurant, one could easily be confused for the other—but they are actually different! One (the Bite) contains alcohol; the other (the Nibble) does not. Someone got confused serving a table of children aged two to eight at a Joe's Crab Shack last Wednesday in Colorado Springs.

Last night, a three-year-old boy was shot in the leg by another toddler as the two played with a shotgun they found inside a Baltimore home. Further details are scant, but one takeaway is clear: it wouldn't have happened if there wasn't a gun in the house.

Last night, Jimmy Kimmel continued his annual tradition of ripping families apart by asking parents, for the fourth year in a row, to tell their kids they ate all the Halloween candy. The results range from wounded tears to straight-up post-Halloween sugar tantrums to being surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

Add "making your son think he's dying" to the list of things people will do for the Vine. These parents put on protective masks, took their kid's temperature, and told him he had Ebola. Then they put his tears of fear and shock as he confronted his own mortality on the internet. He wasn't viral, obviously, but now the video is.

Maddy the cat went missing two months ago, but her family never entirely gave up hope that she might come home. And then, this: Mom spotted the beloved 13-year-old pet wandering around near a gas station and brought her home for a surprise reunion with the kids.