Slate's family correspondent Emily Bazelon was relieved recently to learn that her 8-year-old son has no hits on Google. Not for lack of trying! She writes about her young son, Eli, occasionally, but obviously she doesn't want her child to be an Internet Persona, Fair Game for bloggers and commenters. But then, she's writing about him in Slate. And her husband's name, which is presumably her son's last name, is readily available on Wikipedia. She's dangerously close to crossing into the territory of the chronic familial oversharers whose crimes against their children she ponders in her essay. Like remember Neal Pollack? "His young son Elijah's bathroom habits are fair game for Pollack's blog, but his son's discovery of his sexuality, Pollack says, is not." Jesus, Neal, you just did it again. Dear internet: blogging about your children is child abuse.

Barack Obama won another caucus last weekend. Did you even notice? He holds a pledged delegate lead over Hillary Clinton, and it is looking increasingly unlikely that that lead will shrink as we approach the Democratic National Convention. Nor does it seem likely that either candidate will surge ahead in the upcoming primaries enough to clinch the nomination with pledged delegates alone. Which means that it comes down to Superdelegates, the party bigwigs named by the DNC to make sure we don't end up without another Jimmy Carter. They are beholden to no one, they may align themselves with whomever they wish. And while we know many of them as our elected representatives, some of them, like members of the College Democrats and the Young Democrats of America, are just some drunks on Facebook. A Gawker operative compiled this charming gallery of the youngest Superdelegates (we're reasonably assured of their accuracy) demonstrating their superiority over you, the lowly voter, in this grand democratic experiment. Also they are singing karaoke and smiling happily before the grave of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Students Prefer Easy Courses and 'Hot' Professors" [TaxProf Blog]

"In a sample of 314 tenth-graders in a wealthy suburban community, the rate of 'clinically significant anxiety' was 5 to 9 percent higher than the national average, and among girls, the rate of 'clinically significant depression' was three times the national norm. Drug use exceeded not just national averages but that of low-income high-school kids she followed in a parallel study." [NYM]

We're just getting into the weird and wonderful and actually quite fragile world of video responses to monster-dragon-cat Atoosa Rubinstein's femilady empowerment project of Alpha Kitties. Minnie Fay, the adorably vacant Connecticut teenager, as we learned in her most recent post, is a vegetarian: "I don't eat things with immune systems." Her boyfriend, Rory, is also an Alphakitty and has his own channel! Sadly, he doesn't have eyeballs, only dark recesses under his bangs. But! He sure does love wristbands.

Feast your eyes and ears on 7-year-old Anthony, whose parents are doing their best to see that their son's considerable singing talent morphs him into some horrifying amalgamation of Haley Joel Osment and Clay Aiken. This morning, Anthony made his television debut on the Today Show, singing "Let It Snow" in the kind of voice that would have completely blown us away if we weren't so creeped out by his striking resemblance to Liza Minnelli (minus the drugs, extra weight and makeup). As it happens, his absolutely adorable dimples really don't compensate for the fact that he's doing a spot-on imitation of an ecstatic Chorus Line wannabe in his very first high school musical. Even Ann Curry looks weirded out, and that's saying something. Who in God's name gave him that hair-fluffing-move and will someone make sure they're never again allowed near children?

Bard College, the liberal arts school located 120 miles north in Annandale-on-Hudson, "puts the 'liberal' in 'liberal arts,'" according to the 'Princeton Review.' It has a 600-acre campus and nearly 1500 undergrads. This is their story—as told by a student who would like to be known as Stephan K. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Meet Michele A. Hernandez, a former admissions officer at Dartmouth who is now the most expensive college coach in the country. "Few of the 4,000 independent college counselors now scattered around the country can match Hernandez' influence or earning power. Early on, she began offering college-admissions counseling for students in eighth grade—yes, eighth grade—an approach that is becoming more common. Since 2005, she has run application boot camps in Manhattan and Santa Monica, Calif., which this summer cost $9,500 and are sure to attract imitators. Hernandez says she earned almost $1 million last year." [BusinessWeek]

Our decrepit and vacuous society has given birth to one of the more disturbing trends we've seen in awhile. The city of Los Angeles' most recent victims are junior varsity photogs 14-year-old Austin and 15-year-old Blaine, who runs Pint Size Paparazzi, with the help of thousands of dollars in equipment from their totally fucked-up parents, who don't seem concerned by Blaine's statement to Sunday's Times Style section: "I'm going to let this go as far as it takes me,'said Blaine, fidgeting with his V800. 'I want to be friends with the celebrities more than take photos of them. I kind of wish I was going to the parties with them.'"

Prince Harry, third in line to the crown of England, enjoys snorting vodka shots with shirtless pals. [Towleroad, News of the World]

Did you give already all you could to charities like those Harvard brats' anniversary hotel room, but you still have that uncomfortable pockets stuffed with money feeling? Well, here's your chance to purge your wallet! A group of second-year MFA students in the Critical Studies program at Cal Arts wants to go to the annual AWP conference in New York, and you're their only hope. They've set up a donation website in order to amass the $4400 they "need" for "AIRFARE, Lodging, Conference Registration, Food." And you will be rewarded, not just in karma, but with a special gift! "All donors who give more than $25 to this incredibly worthy cause will be recognized for their generous contributions in the chapbook of student writings, to be distributed during the AWP conference and afterwards in the Los Angeles area." That settles it: Fuck Darfur!

There are parties in New York not run by publicists, parties that don't promote perfumes. Tracie Egan (the artist formerly known as "Slut Machine") and Nikola Tamindzic went out in the field this weekend to a real party: A raging kegger in South Williamsburg. There, they discovered oddly-shaped hickeys, uptight douchebags and a lack of alcohol. And we learned a lot about the way we live now. Or did we?

How bad are things for the beleaguered scholars of New York University? This bad:

Poor Maeve McGilloway! On her first visit back home after spending three weeks at college, the Middlebury freshman made a horrifying discovery.

The adorable scamps of CollegeHumor haven't let The Man break their spirit: They're still living the life of hard-partying sophomores, even though they've got jillions of dollars and ostensibly real jobs. Sadly, some folks aren't so amused. A note from their building's manager cites complaints about liquor bottles left in the men's room, "Drunk people hanging out the window," and, the most serious charge, "Spinning around the revolving doors over and over again." Juvenile, sure, but they're simply following in the footsteps of mentor and owner Barry Diller, who once took a shit on a QVC executive's desk "as a lark." (Kidding, Mr. Diller!)

Admissions officers reveal what anyone who's ever applied to college already knows. Those interviews don't mean jackshit: "It would be a rare interview faux pas that could disqualify an applicant, such as wearing a bathing suit to the interview, saying the school is only a fallback option, displaying bigotry, or admitting to patricidal fantasies, the admissions officers said. Catastrophes aside, they said, an interview bears little or no say in the race for top-college acceptance." Sorry, kid! [NYS]

The New York Times has taken upon itself the responsibilities of in loco parentis. Or maybe, in loco retardis, because the New York tips they're publishing for new college arrivals are WOW IDIOTIC. "Don't try to swim in the rivers. Drownings are all too common" for one. There's a reason people die like this; it's called God's vengeance. Also: "Don't spend money on condoms. The city gives them away" for another. Yeah, at the gay bathhouse. But to the Metro section's credit, over on the Metro blog, all the Times commenters have much worse advice—except for one.

After trying to buy the Blue Book at Bookhampton in East Hampton (they were "out" of the social register, but they'd take my number), we ran into this kind of scary bunch of kids hanging out outside of Starbucks. The ringleader—we'll call him Brian—sported an Iron Cross tattoo on his arm. Above it was written "Race..." and "Culture..." Underneath it, he said, he was planning to get "History..." added on. He had carved "FTS" into his calf. It stood for "Fuck the System," he explained. His friends, who ranged in age from 13 to16, nodded. "I was part of the system," said one sullen girl. "Me too," volunteered a younger boy named Justin, who turned out to be Brian's brother. The system, it turned out, was the juvenile detention system. Couples clad in short white Ralph Lauren shorts and salmon polo shirts looked at me and Amelia Bauer as we chatted with the locals. The kids stared straight back.

After an exhausting seven months of polling, MTV and the Associated Press have finished a survey of America's youth. (Those aged 13-24, at least.) Turns out, kids are happy! Especially white kids, who apparently love their parents, believe in God, want to make gobs of money, and think technology "makes people happier." Half of them never turn off their cell phones. Just wait until you're WORKING with these freaks. You'll be the unhappy one! (P.S. Did you know MTV has "an esteemed research pedigree"? Yeah, us neither.) [MTV]

NBC News blows the lid off the depravity on YouTube. No, not swinger housewives gone wild: There's a rash of videos being uploaded of kids tossing drinks back at the faces of drive-thru workers. Aren't you glad you live in New York, instead of America? Still kind of wish we had drive-thru fast food though, for late night gypsy cab snacks and stuff.