It's a familiar story: Person loses phone, phone gets found, finder uses phone to post an Instagram of themselves using the phone, Instagram helps person retrieve their phone.

Just as "high school" was invented as a way to keep teenagers off the streets most of the year, "summer jobs" were invented as a way to keep them off the streets for the remainder of the year. But even five years after the Great Recession struck, summer jobs are as scarce as [reference to some teen-specific buzzword here]. Can someone hire these fucking kids, please?

A New York library director has asked a little boy who loves books to quit reading so damn much because he's making the other kids look bad.

Soda is a nutritious beverage that will aid your physical health with all sorts of micro-probiotic-raw-superfood wellness, said no one. It's not good thing to put in your body and we all know that. Soda's effect on the mind and behavior has not been so frequently observed. Now, a study in the Journal of Pediatrics connects drinking too much soda to behavioral problems and violence in young kids.

Caleb Clemmons, a 20-year-old former student at Georgia Southern has been in jail for six months for making a joke Tumblr post that said he was going to shoot up his school.

Kids these days are straight up zooted and bouncing off the emergency room walls, thanks to copious supplies of Adderrall and Ritalin and all the other ADHD drugs that they got from you. (They learned it by watching you, okay?) If we'd simply been giving our kids Vivarin this whole time, none of this would have happened.

A summer camp in Florida that offers its kids the chance to participate in a real-life version of the Hunger Games is lifting some eyebrows around the world.

An unfortunate typo that left a young Jeopardy! contestant in tears is sparking cries of protests among the show's adult audience.

Authorities in Utah have arrested four teens, including a recently crowned beauty queen, and charged them with setting off an incendiary device after they allegedly tossed homemade bombs at local homes and residents.

Police in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, say a 12-year-old boy armed with a BB gun robbed a local lemonade stand being run by a group of younger boys.

When the violence, strife, and cold-blooded realpolitik world of international relations starts to get you down, take heart in this truth: no matter where you go— from Kansas City to Kabul— college kids will be angry, shouty, and dumb.

An entire generation of Americans has been sold the idea of higher education as a panacea for all ills. That generation of Americans is now shackled with giant and unsustainable levels of student debt. And now, it appears that the big college tidal wave has crested, and is beginning to crash down.

A pair of teenage girls who were arrested on suspicion of robbery in late March could have possibly talked their way out of it — had they not snapped a selfie of themselves dressed as robbers and holding a knife just before allegedly committing the crime.

A college student who must have just woken up from a pre-birth coma sent a letter to Sub Pop, Nirvana's one-time record label, asking if the band, which broke up following the suicide of its frontman Kurt Cobain, would be so kind as to record a Homecoming Week message for her school.

What is the "hipster?" What does he or she do, and look like? Where does the hipster lurk? Intrepid journalists have spent years tracking hipsters in their natural habitats of Brooklyn and "the internet." Now, hipsters have been tracked all the way to the frontiers of St. Louis.

There are some things that make you reminisce wistfully on your own childhood and realize, "yeah, things were better back then." Like today's so-called "music." Or today's so-called "fashion." Or when Taco Bell announces they're ending their kids meals.

You'd think that, with the recent rash of news stories covering fast food employees getting canned for posting photos of themselves mishandling food to their social media accounts, other restaurant industry workers would arrive at the conclusion that following in their footsteps would be a bad move on their part.

Have you talked with your teen about the dangers of inhaling blow darts?

A group of schoolboys have decided to protest an administrative ban on short by wearing skirts to class.

The Fine Bros. have been subjecting their cavalcade of camera-ready kids to a whole host of stupid, silly, and pointless videos since practically the start of the Internet, but this week they decided to get all serious by showing their troupe of tots the now-infamous interracial Cheerios commercial.