• One of Madonna's neighbors has filed a lawsuit against their building's co-op board for not doing anything about the "pounding noise and vibration" emanating from Madge's triplex, which the neighbor says has been doubling as a "dance rehearsal studio." The good news is Madonna is moving in the near future, so the angry tenant should soon be able to go back to complaining about her other neighbor who just plays the radio too loud. [NYDN, AP]
• Lindsay Lohan avoided jail time but had her probation extended by a year last week when a judge ruled that she hadn't completed an alcohol treatment program. Then she went out to a party in the Meatpacking district this weekend and actually stayed sober. What a delightful surprise! [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel is engaged to her boyfriend of 11 months, Jason Hoppy. "She is very much a handful," Hoppy said, "She needs a man that can handle her, and that I can." More power to you, sir. [People]

Jon and Kate Gosselin completely suck at life. Michael Jackson was weird on The Simpsons. Weird! Weirdos will get off on Marge Simpson in Playboy. Carrey Mulligan? Emmy Rossum! Pervy Dr. Phil, many more. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• Dina Lohan, America's No. 1 mom and the face of a new line of shoes, is defending Lindsay against her dad's accusation that the actress is addicted to drugs and desperately needs an intervention. ("I have no idea what he is talking about," Dina says.) She also stood up for LiLo's fashion design skills, even after her debut as Emanuel Ungaro's "artistic adviser" was savaged by the press earlier this week: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius," she said. [P6, NYDN, Radar]
• Mischa Barton reportedly "had a drink in hand all night" on the LES on Wednesday, where she was seen buying shots for Young Veins' frontman Ryan Ross. Where's Michael Lohan when you need him? [NYDN]
• Meanwhile, model Agyness Deyn is reportedly laying off the booze in solidarity with her boyfriend, Albert Hammond Jr., who is in rehab. [P6]

Natalie Portman arriving at the Broadhurst Theatre for opening night of Hamlet ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts riding a scooter downtown ... Blake Lively arriving on the Gossip Girl set in Tribeca ... and Ed Westwick shooting scenes in Central Park ... America's No. 1 dad, Jon Gosselin, shopping on the Upper West Side ... Hugh Jackman carrying his kids' scooters in the West Village ... Pete Wentz standing in front of his hotel in Midtown ... Hilary Duff arriving at Silvercup Studios in Queens ... Khloe Kardashian arriving at JFK to catch a flight back to LA ... Sienna Miller partying at a club and signing autographs ... and Michael Douglas and Shia LaBeouf filming scenes for Wall Street 2 at the Central Park Zoo.

Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of Sex and the City 2 in Brooklyn ... Alex Rodriguez walking to lunch in Midtown with his manager, Guy Oseary ... Hilary Duff kissing Penn Badgley on the set of Gossip Girl ... Rick Fox and Eliza Dushku walking in Midtown ... Olivia Palermo leaving the PIX11 studios ... Khloe Kardashian arriving at JFK and later shopping at the Apple store ... Tim Robbins talking to Matt Damon and Emily Blunt on the Adjustment Bureau set downtown ... Kate Gosselin getting out of an SUV in front her of hotel ... and Sienna Miller carrying her dog downtown.

• Things are heating up between Justin Timberlake and Rihanna. "Hot grinding sessions," "steamy private after-parties," "impromptu lap dances," and non-stop texting sessions have all been on the agenda in recent days, at least if you're buying what the Star's "sources" are selling. [Star]
• Madonna will do anything for the young Brazilian man in her life, Jesus Luz. And if that means taking him to the downtown gay bar Easternbloc so he can "get some DJ experience in her old hood," well, then so be it. [P6]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman's play, A Steady Rain, has set a record for the "highest weekly sales of a non-musical play." We're guessing their good looks, not just their acting talent, may have something to do with that. [Reuters]

• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married in a quiet ceremony in France a few weeks ago. Sneaky! [Life & Style]
• Emmy Rossum's husband, music exec Justin Siegel, has filed for divorce. (Their 2008 secret marriage was only discovered when the couple was reported to have split up in August.) Naturally, Siegel is asking Rossum to pay for the divorce and he's seeking spousal support, too. [TMZ, Us]
• Yet another book is coming out alleging that Bill Clinton did inappropriate things. In her new book Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House, Stacy Parker Aab claims Clinton groped her in a hotel room in 2000 and his pal Vernon Jordan tried to kiss her twice. Good thing the poor girl got this all off her cheat a mere nine years after the fact. [NYDN]

Is Kanye West considering rehab? Would Michael appreciate Janet's mournful gesture? Should we all just forget Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic ways? So many questions! Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup....

• The Kardashian girls continue to rake it in. Khloe Kardashian tied the knot with LA Laker Lamar Odom last night at a ceremony and reception was paid for by E!. (The event will be featured on an upcoming episode of E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians.) She may collect $250,000 more by selling photos of the nuptials. [People, TMZ, P6]
• After spending three decades as a fugitive on charges he raped a 13-year-old in 1978, famed director Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday while on his way to attend the Zurich Film Festival. [NYDN, ABC]
• One of Saturday Night Live's brand new cast members, Jenny Slate, dropped an F-bomb on the show. [YouTube, NYDN]

Pam Anderson's back to her roots. Bethenny Frankel's venturing out on her own. And Jeremy London actually got some press. But it's not good. Happy Monday! Here's your gossip roundup.

The Kardashians are richer than they should be. Michael Douglas: trying to protect his kids from cocaine. Tori Spelling's husband's ex-wife doesn't suck. A celebrity was an asshole. Courtney Love and Hugo Chavez: hooking up? Sunday Morning's Gossip Roundup:

If you expect the results of that headline to be anything but spectacular, stop reading, click past the jump now. Anna Paquin's doggy ring, Khloe Kardashian, Neve Campbell, Snoop Dogg, BBC sitcoms. Presenting your ridiculous Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Michael Jackson saw rivalry in Madonna's eyes, Kelly Rutherford's husband won't be coming near her, and Jude Law's not the best father. All that and more in your Friday morning Gossip Roundup!

• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford got a temporary restraining order against her ex-husband, Daniel Giersch, saying that he harassed both her and her nanny, which, to add insult to injury, caused her nanny to quit. [TMZ, People]
• Randy Quaid, the actor who played Cousin Eddie in the National Lampoon's Vacation movies, may be more like his character than anyone thought. He was arrested near the Mexico border with his wife on charges that he bolted on a $10,000 hotel bill. The two have already posted bail, but not before hamming it up for their mug shots and scribbling a handwritten note to TMZ. Clark W. Griswold would be proud. [AP, TMZ, P6]
• She's been married to Keith Urban since June 2006, but Nicole Kidman is still known as "the lady who used to be married to Tom Cruise" by at least two Starbucks baristas, and she's not happy about it. [P6]

• Friends worry Jessica Simpson is "at the lowest point of her life" now that she's lost her beloved dog, Daisy. Others say she's coping "better than her friends may realize." Either way, we she's probably feeling much better now that her friends are sharing her innermost feelings with the tabloids. [People]
• The man suspected of breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house wasn't a complete stranger: The two reportedly hung out on the set of her film Labor Pains last year. The girl's not the best judge of character, as you've probably realized by now. [TMZ]
• The drugs that were prescribed to Anna Nicole Smith amounted to "pharmaceutical suicide," according to newly unsealed court documents that were obtained by the LA Times. Most disturbing: The documents also reveal that both of Anna Nicole's doctors "transgressed professional boundaries by having sexual contact with their famous patient." [LAT]
• Michelle Obama gave Barack the silent treatment at points during his campaign for president because she was pissed about all the women throwing themselves at him, according to a new book. There was even a hot young campaign aide who was mysteriously "relocated" after developing a close relationship with the President. [NYDN, P6]
• Did you catch President Obama's appearance on Letterman last night? [MTV]

Will Jessica Simpson survive her dog's death? Did Anna Wintour survive sitting next to Pixie Geldof? Did Lindsay know her burglar? Did Anna Nicole's doctors know pills would kill her? Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!

• If the daughter of fashion's most powerful figure can't find a job, how are those of us with less cushy connections expected to? Anna Wintour says daughter Bee Shaffer has gone on 24 job interviews since graduating from Columbia last spring, but has yet to receive a single offer. [NYDN]
• Is Tinsley Mortimer finally getting the reality show she's been dreaming about? Let's hope so! [P6]
• The good news: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler had a rendezvous in LA the other night and were acting all lovey-dovey. The bad: Then they got in their cars and drove in totally different directions. [P6]
• Some customer tried to tip the Olsen twins during Fashion's Night Out at Bergdorf last night after they served him a drink. Did the girls keep the money? Give it back? We're going to assume the former for the time being. [NYDN]

• Relationships: Sean Penn may have a new girlfriend now that he and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing; Nick Lachey appears to have reunited with Vanessa Minnillo; Khloe Kardashian has a new boyfriend; and George Clooney is no longer trying to hide his relationship with Italian TV star Elisabetta Canalis.

Men are chasing after Robert Pattinson. The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy continues! Megan Fox might be clinically insane. Paula Abdul definitely is, as are most British People. And Jon Gosselin still sucks. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Courtney Love shopping downtown ... Mischa Barton talking on her phone while eating lunch outside with a friend ... Paul McCartney waving to photographers in East Hampton ... Dave Zinczenko, Dan Abrams, and Julia Allison having dinner at Copa in Bridgehampton ... Julia Roberts leaving her trailer on the set of Eat, Pray, Love ... Sophia Bush going inside Pop Yogurt on West Broadway and Spring Street ... Drew Barrymore shooting scenes for Going the Distance ... Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian leaving the Howard Stern Show in Midtown ... and Beyoncé and Jay-Z having an early dinner at Bar Pitti on Saturday.