• Just in case Mercy won't have enough culture shock to deal with when she arrives in NYC, Madonna reportedly wants to turn her newly-acquired Upper East Side townhouse into a "replica" of her countryside estate in England. She's having her staffers "troll the Upper East Side boutiques for candelabras, side tables, and period chaises." And poor Mercy will be looking to hop a flight back to Africa pretty soon. [Mirror]
• Break out the tissues: It seems Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have split up. [Us]
• Oprah is taking 100 employees and their families on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean to celebrate her birthday. [NYDN]
• Justin Timberlake got kinda drunk at Avenue the other night. He still had the sense to "shoo" Lindsay Lohan away, but he may have gotten cozy with a woman who was not Jessica Biel, depending on who you believe. [P6]

• It looks the end of the line for Fox News anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle and husband Eric Villency, the heir to a furniture store chain founded by his grandfather and occasional TV presence. It's Guilfoyle's second high-profile break-up. Her first husband was San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. [P6]
• Sean Avery and model Hilary Rhoda were spotted "getting cozy" the other night. [P6]
• Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson's sidekick on The Tonight Show for more than three decades, has died at 86. [NYT, People]

Well, not really. We already know they filed divorce papers in a Pennsylvania court on Monday, but that doesn't mean America doesn't want to have it confirmed by Jon and Kate in their own words, so here you go.

In advance of the big Jon and Kate "major announcement" special, People is reporting tonight that Jon and Kate Gosselin have filed for divorce. Shocking, right?!

Megan Fox cites confusion in explaining away the infamous flower incident, Ryan Seacrest is developing a Lindsay Lohan reality show, Kate Moss is an absolute pain in the arse girlfriend, and Katie Lee Joel's new man is shagging fashion editors.

We'd like to avoid this story as much as possible, because mostly it's just gross, but this is TOO BIG to pass up! Jon & Kate from hit reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8 are making a major announcement.

• Here's a rather unlikely rumor but an amusing one all the same: Prince William is supposedly thinking of moving to America with his girlfriend, Kate Middleton, and the two have been spotted house-hunting in Malibu. Frankly, if they were going to move to America—and they're probably not—we see them as more of a New York couple. And NYC could use a prince roaming around, couldn't it? Let's all cross our fingers and hope for the best. [E!]
• Countess (and not-so-real housewife) LuAnn de Lesseps was spotted hanging out with young men and doing tequila shots at a club in the Hamptons last weekend. And the earth continues to rotate on its own axis, too. [P6]
• That was quick. Just a couple of weeks after Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson supposedly reunited, the couple appears to have split up again—and it's all Nicole Richie's fault, too. Or maybe they never got back together at all? Feel free to take your pick. [E!, People, AH]

Megan Fox affirms that she's single and looking, Sienna Miller claims to have never been on a date or had a one-night stand, Susan Boyle is suffering from exhaustion, and Jon and Kate celebrate their anniversary apart.

• The father of Mercy James, the girl being adopted by Madonna, says he has no plans to object to the adoption, and a nanny and nurse have already touched down in Malawi to take care of her. So it looks like the little girl will be climbing aboard Madonna's jet to head to NYC any day now. [Reuters, DM, Sun]
• David Carradine's funeral took place in LA on Saturday and more than 400 mourners turned up for the occasion, including Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Jane Seymour, Tom Selleck, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Edward James Olmos, and Rob Schneider. [Us, AP, People]
• Jeff Goldblum, who is 56, and his new girlfriend, 21-year-old Lost actress Tania Raymonde, "can't keep their hands to themselves," which may explain why they've been seen "making out all over town." [AMNY]

Not entirely unexpected: Iran's general election was held today, and guess what? Landslide in Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's favor! The result, called a "divine assessment" by Iran's Ayatollah, is clearly bullshit. Iranians are now taking to the streets (and Twitter) in protest.

Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle, inflating a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle's back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup:

If you've ever wondered what kind of mother Kate Gosselin is behind the scenes, wonder no more. Access Hollywood released this clip today of footage caught just prior to an interview with Kate and her kids, and it's kinda troubling.

• Lindsay Lohan is stirring up a bit of trouble in Paris. Apparently she's been in discussions with Emanuel Ungaro about signing on as a "creative consultant," although Ungaro's Esteban Cortazar is threatening to walk if that happens. [P6]
• An "insider" says a "fragile" Britney Spears doesn't really want to be on tour, but her dad has been forcing her into it. [MSNBC]
• Christie Brinkley says she has no plans to get married again and doesn't really know why anyone would bother getting married, but does still believe in "true love," if that's any consolation. [Us]
• Amy Winehouse's "last-ditch" plan to sober up isn't going so well. Instead of six shots of tequila for breakfast, she now settles for two. [DM]

Spencer and Heidi implode on the set of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Madonna and Kate Hudson kinda almost get into a catfight, Billy Bob Thornton's daughter is charged in an infant's death, and Lori Petty spent the weekend in the slammer after getting arrested for DUI.

• It's not just TLC that is happy about the Jon & Kate nonsense. Putting them on the cover of Us six times in a row has been a "windfall" for Janice Min. [NYP]
• Get ready to pay for People.com: Time Warner chief Jeff Bewkes says the company may begin charging for access to online magazine content. [AP]
• With book sales plunging and attendance down at BookExpo America, the mood in the publishing industry is kinda gloomy at the moment. [NYT]
• Keith Olbermann is in hot water again. The waterboarding video on his show last week was staged, it turns out, and MSNBC was made aware of that fact before the show, but they went ahead with it anyway. [Gawker]

[That's Kate Gosselin of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" who hates fame with her boyfriend/bodyguard at BWI, which is known as "the celebrities' airport"; image via Splash]

• How is Twitter going to make money? With a reality TV series, naturally. The show will involve "putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format," in case you were wondering. [Variety]
• The primetime lineups for next year "are chockablock with shows meant to make recession-weary viewers laugh and feel better." How encouraging! [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as for Roland Martin, who has been subbing for Campbell Brown recently. [Page Six]
• Bravo's next Real Housewives installment: Washington, DC. [Daily Intel]
• Fox News nut Greta Van Susteren may not be around for long. Rumor has it her contract won't be be renewed and Megyn Kelly will replace her. [NYT]
• New York lost close to $5 million last year; with ad pages down 37 percent thus far in 2009, "losses are expected to be even higher this year." [NYP]
• A Russian investment firm has dropped $200 million into Facebook's bank account in return for a 1.96 percent stake in the company. [NYT]
• Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum sequel beat out the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise with a four-day pull of $70 million. [Reuters]

Jon Goesselin can't escape his family, Kevin Bacon's mugger escapes capture, Paul Allen can definitely escape Cannes, Josh Duhamal tries to escape death at Indy 500: presenting your man-happy Sunday afternoon gossip roundup.

Spencer Pratt's hot new rap single drops on iTunes, Britney sports a two-piece, Hayden Panettiere's tattoo artist can't spell and fucked up her new ink, some crazed Idol fan attempted to strangle Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend outside the show's studio after the finale, and Amy Winehouse in in the hospital AGAIN!

[Embattled gossip targets Kate and Jon Gosselin of "Jon & Kate Plus Eight" film their show in Pennsylvania yesterday; image via INF]