The owners of a bakery in Oregon have finally agreed to pay state-ordered damages after they refused to serve a same-sex couple last year.

A car thief threw a brick at the window of a car outside Gerry Brady's pub in Drogheda, but the brick bounced off the window and hit the car thief in the face, the Irish Independent reports.

No Christmas presents for grown ups.

Florida's newest millionaire is a 43-year-old 450-pound convicted child molester who finally caught a break this week when he won a multi-million dollar scratch-off jackpot.

Dallas County, population 2.5 million, now officially stands for "monetary and substantial reparations" for black Americans' suffering, after the County Commission summarily approved a resolution by its only black member that the white commissioners never bothered to read.

James Joyce—literary titan, slayer of Victorian shibboleths, bane of schoolchildren the world over—was probably crippled and blinded by hooker-caused syphilis, according to new medical and documentary evidence uncovered by a Harvard researcher.

Craig Cobb, the goofy "14% sub-Saharan African" white supremacist who dreamed of running an all-white North Dakota town for like-minded bigots, agreed to a plea deal Tuesday for menacing and terrorizing that town's inhabitants, and said he'd move out of state.

Hey there, sweetness. No cavities. You are a great flosser. But why don't you smile more? I bet it's 'cause of this little gap here in your cute little bunny teeth. No, here. Open up, let me show you. I've got just the thing you need. Your boss'll give you a raise! Just lie back and let me take care of it.

A 22-year-old woman on probation for a drunk driving conviction thought she had fooled investigators when she passed a breathalyzer test after a night of drinking. She probably would have gotten away with it, too, if she hadn't bragged about it on Facebook.

Florida man "shoots himself in leg after leaving gun safety class" because Florida, man.

The former executive director of Project Veritas, conservative ratfucker extraordinaire James O'Keefe's investigative outfit, is suing O'Keefe and the company for "wrongful termination," alleging breach of contract and defamation. Hopefully, there's a highly doctored video involved somehow.

The remains of a woman who spent decades abusing animals were found inside her western Kentucky home earlier this month. Authorities believe the parts of her body not found had been consumed by her pet wolfdogs.

A speeding driver who was endangering the lives of children in Norfolk, Virginia, was expressing his displeasure at being told to slow down by brandishing a gun, when the weapon accidentally discharged and struck him in the groin.

A former GOP leader who cracked wise about Anthony Weiner's sexting woes has found himself embroiled in a seedier version of the scandal after being arrested last Friday for allegedly sending sexually explicit material to a teenager over the Internet.

Customers at a downtown Edmonton, Alberta, Tim Hortons were more than a little suspicious when staff members told them their coffee was free of charge thanks to a mysterious stranger.

If you run a convenience store, and someone purchases a winning scratch-off lottery ticket worth $5 million, and you decide that you want to steal it, it seems downright greedy, even in the context of a ripoff, to do this:

A bizarre story out of northern Vermont began to unfold Wednesday night after police were alerted to a man found dead inside the kitchen of an unoccupied house in Burke.

Private equity kingpin and walking manifestation of bad PR for the top 1% Stephen Schwarzman had a great, great year this year. This rich, selfish bastard—who compared a plan to raise taxes on private equity firms to Hitler invading Poland, and who stated that his number one New Year's wish, in the midst of the worst recession in a century, was to create a "tax-free zone" for wealthy foreign nationals in New York—had an outstanding 2011, compensation-wise.

Rob Sgobbo (pictured), a young writer for the New York Daily News, has had a freelance story he wrote yanked from the Village Voice's website. He apparently fabricated sources and lied about his reporting. (Update: the NYDN has canned him.)

A kid this young - it's not his fault. However, if you hit a lizard one too many times, it's going to retaliate. If the first 51 seconds disturb you, the last 10 will not!