Nneka Eneorj, an alternate juror in the NYPD/Iraq War vet brutality case, was dismissed on Thursday for wearing a shirt that said "Who the F*ck Is Kanye West?" (A: He is a rapper. This is his picture.) [NYP]

Lady Gaga buys some ghostbusting equipment. Michelle McGee strips for a cheating website. Sarah Ferguson has standards. How did Gary Coleman die? Sunday's Gossip Round up is trying to concentrate even though there's a big parade outside.

Well, folks, there you have it! The 82nd Annual Academy awards are history, and what a night it was. Inside, your Oscars wrap-up: video and pictures of the moments everyone will be talking about tomorrow, and a complete winners list.

Betty White, grandmother to the world, lit up The Insider tonight as a guest panelist. White chimed in on John Edwards and Tiger Woods, identified half-naked men by their abs, fist pumped and even tore Kanye West a new one.

• There's a good chance you'll be seeing the cast of Jersey Shore in the tents at Fashion Week. (If, that is, you happen to be going to Fashion Week.) MTV's newest crop of reality stars have been asking to tickets to shows, and a few designers have extended invites to "to attend or even model." [P6]
• If you wanted to go to business school but didn't do so well on the GMATs, Diddy is here to help. He says he plans to open a business school in New York City in the near future. [Starpulse, Us]
• Michael Jackson's "personal physician," Dr. Conrad Murray, is expected to surrender to the authorities today in connection with charges he played a role in Jackson's death. He'll likely be charged with involuntary manslaughter, which could land him four years in jail. [TMZ]
• Perpetual brat Kanye West threw a fit while flying back to New York from LA when he was told he and his assistant would have to sit in business class, not first. The temper tantrum paid off, though: The airline found room for him in the front of the plane and the rest of the flight went off without a hitch. [P6]

Hayden Panettiere's heavyweight boxer boyfriend forces us to confront our ageist, sizeist assumptions. Sandra Bullock would trade her Oscar nod for a dog. Jersey Shore contemplates Fashion Week. Holy crap, is Britney pregnant again? Wednesday gossip is not to scale.

A rumored Diddy-J.Lo sex tape may not exist, but enters court proceedings anyway; Katy Perry used Google to figure out when Russell Brand would propose; We Are the World: Haiti Edition records, Gerard Butler jokes about being gay. Tuesday gossip!

• The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore officially signed on for season two over the weekend. (Although MTV may now be forced to rename the show, since the cast could be spending next season in the Hamptons.) If you need something to tide you over until the summer, you could always go out and pick up Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new cologne, which is appropriately named "The Sitch" and smells like a mix of self-tanner, Axe body spray, and some random girl's perfume. [Us, NYP, P6]
• So much for those rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up. At the Director's Guild of America Awards in LA on Saturday night, the couple looked "as happy as can be," Pitt pulled a chair out for his wife (what a gentleman!), and he spent the evening gently caressing her back. [Us, People]
• Did you miss the Grammys last night? Lady Gaga wore a dress that looked like a fifth-grade solar system science project before descending into a fire pit and then playing piano opposite a crystal-encrusted Elton John; Pink did a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance in a nude bodysuit, twirling on a trapeze and singing upside down; Beyonce won a record-breaking six Grammys; Taylor Swift walked away with four, including album of the year; and the crowd was treated to a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson as well as brief speeches by two of his kids, Prince and Paris. Click through for the list of winners and the fashion highlights/lowlights. [People, NYP, NYDN, MTV, People]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up? That's what Britain's News of the World reported over the weekend, suggesting the (unmarried) couple has been meeting with their lawyers in LA to divide up their assets. Whether any of this is true or it's just another rumor is unclear. According to a source that spoke with People, "everything is fine" between Jolie and Pitt, and the story of them splitting is "totally false." [NYDN, NYP, TMZ, People]
• The cast of MTV's most popular new show may not be back for another season. The kids from Jersey Shore reportedly turned down an offer which would have paid them each $5,000 per episode. MTV has since doubled its offer and informed them they'll replace the cast if they don't accept. In related news, the cast sparked a "near-riot" on Friday night when fans descended on a club in Montclair, New Jersey, to catch them in person. [TMZ, Us, NYDN]
• Diddy held a 1,000-person birthday party for his son, Justin, on Saturday night. The highlight of the evening—which was taped for an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen—was when Diddy gave his son what every 16-year-old needs: a $360,000 silver Maybach and a driver to go with it. [P6, NYDN]

George Clooney won't let Kanye be in his telethon, Kanye ruins everything. Tara Reid gets engaged to a mysterious "billionaire." Michael Lohan abandons a puppy. Diddy's kid turns Super Sweet 16 on MTV. Thursday gossip has daddy issues.

• What caused the death of troubled socialite and heiress Casey Johnson, who was discovered dead in her LA home yesterday? It's too soon to say since toxicology results are pending, although at least one tabloid is suggesting prescription pills may have been involved. In a bizarre twist to the story, Johnson's "fiancée," reality TV star/fame addict Tila Tequila, tweeted last night that Johnson hadn't actually died and was really in a coma, before backtracking a little while later and acknowledging what had already been confirmed by the police. Tequila's also believed to be the last person to have seen the Johnson & Johnson heiress alive. [TMZ, NYP, NYDN]
• It looks like when Beyoncé performed in St. Barts on New Year's Eve, she was doing so at the behest of Hannibal Khadafy, the son of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafy. This would be the same man who is rumored to have broken his wife's nose last month, was arrested in 2005 for punching her, and was detained by the police in Geneva in 2008 for beating his servants. So either Beyoncé is really hard up for cash (which is doubtful), or she needs someone to vet her public appearances going forward. [P6]
• The third White House state dinner crasher has been identified. His name is Carlos Allen and he's a DC-based party promoter, and he managed to sneak into the White House by hopping on a bus filled with Indian diplomats. [WP]
• Susan Sarandon has denied reports that she's involved with Jonathan Bricklin, her partner in SPiN, the ping pong club on the East Side. But a source close to the 31-year-old entrepreneur says Bricklin and Sarandon spent New Year's together and were very "touch-feely." [Fox411]

2009 had its fair share of things that didn't go exactly according to plan. F-bombs, dry-humping, real humping, and lots of unforeseen stupidity. Here are the 12 best things that weren't supposed to happen on TV, but luckily, they did.

This time she won't earn money for it, though. Charlie Sheen's wife's 911 call is out, and terrifying. Spencer Pratt is jealous of Jersey Shore. Paparazzi get pissed at Angelina. Come and get your Tuesday gossip!

Sienna and Jude's balls: Barbados-bound. Together they'll make domestic reconciliation layer cake. Lady Gagadong's moneyballs will drop on New Years. William Hurt is your new existential bicycle. Gene Simmons is still trying to rock. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Man, the not-at-all-racist New York Post can't get enough of the Times Square gunman the NYPD shot dead when he started firing a MAC-10 in Times Square. He could've killed people? Meh, says the Post. But: a thug-life gangsta rapper?!

2009 will be remembered for a lot of things. Those things will probably be remembered better if we mash 'em up and autotune them.

In some of the mildest, most cowboy-hatted humor I've seen in a long time, some country music people I've never heard of mocked Kanye for interrupting Taylor Swift at the VMAs... about a decade ago.

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]

It feels like years since we saw our first inkjet printing of Kanye West taped to the office refrigerator alongside either our favorite 80s cartoon character or freshest dead celebrity.

Jennifer Aniston's in love with someone, again. Paul McCartney's son's dreams are coming true and dying all at once. Jon and Kate are still deplorable. And Courtney Hazlett calls out Melissa Rycroft. Hoorah! It's your Friday morning gossip roundup!