Exactly what you want to look at while you eat.
We don't do restaurant reviews — unless it's a celebrity restaurant (oh, NYLA, we miss you so!). So last night we decided to don our crazypants and hit Destino, the new Italian restaurant at 50th and 1st Avenue. No, we didn't go for the food, even though Rao's Mario Curko is in the kitchen — we went because Justin Timberlake is a minority investor, and we were really curious as to whether or not Destino would be half as sleek and glitzy as his Los Angeles venture, Chi. Plus, we heard that Timberlake was required to make something like 2 appearances every 5 years (or some such silliness), and what if — what if — he was hanging at his new place that night? Then we could finally challenge him to a dance-off.

· We used to visit Grandpa's in Greenwich Village just to catch a glimpse of Grandpa Munster, and sure enough, there he was, smiling and making the rounds.
· Hanzi Smatter ("dedicated to the misuse of Chinese characters in western culture") takes a look at Justin Timberlake's scary Alpha Dog tattoos and wonders why he has the word "ice skating" on his left bicep.
· America's most fascinating couple no longer finds each other all that fascinating.
· A trailer remix to brighten your Monday: Sleepless in Seattle, now with boiling bunny rabbits!
· When did Eminem become a bloated wax figure?
· Will somone PLEASE find B.B. King's bundle of precious?!
· Is Jake Gyllenhaal preparing for all sorts of new big screen homoerotic acting challenges in the next Batman movie?

· Blogger Kim Morgan's car was towed from a Cold Case location shoot, and now she's going after The Bruck himself for her $177 towing fees. Let's all hold him upside down and shake until the money falls out of his pockets.
· We can't decide what's more absurd: that a celebrity could possibly expect any privacy at Sundance, or that a magazine would pay for a photo of Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake completely disguised in ski clothes. (And does anyone else think they look like Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow hitting the slopes?)
· Why don't we just assume that every successful memoirist is full of shit and call it a day?
· Our pal from Sickcandy is commemorating UPN's demise by auctioning off one of the ugliest promo jackets you've ever seen.
· "Nikki: Shelby once blew Tommy Lee in a public restroom!
Shelby: Bitch! I did not! It was in a tour-bus restroom." The WOW Report watched the Crue gets its star on the Walk of Fame.

MTV reports that pretty pop star Justin Timberlake is behind forthcoming Upper East Side restaurant Destino's, which he'll co-own with Eytan Sugarman, the man responsible for Suede and Cherry Lounge (both of which Sugarman opened with hip-hop producer Timbaland). PR is being handled by Lizzie Grubman, and chef Mario Curko (formerly of Rao's) will be in the kitchen, where he'll do his best to help diners forget they're eating anywhere near the aforementioned individuals.

Radar Online reports on unbearable tensions in the production of Shrek 3, where Cameron Diaz helpfully "suggested" casting songbird boyfriend (and aspiring horrible actor) Justin Timberlake in a major, tricky role. Timberlake promptly repaid his lady's kindness by "ruining the movie," leaving screwed DreamWorks Animation chief pompom tipJeffrey Katzenberg to muse about ways to rectify the situation and save his money-printing franchise:

· "Yet again, a tabloid has been caught lying.Thankfully the judicial process worked, but how many cases like this will it take before these tabloids feel obligated to print the truth? Have they no shame?" God, it's so hot when a publicist gets indignant!
· The strangest, saddest story we've heard in a while takes a turn towards the stranger and sadder. Dying from suffocation underneath a heart attack victim is something out of the first two minutes of a Six Feet Under episode.
· On his 50th birthday, breakout Project Greenlight director John Gulager will suddenly and mysteriously find himself drawn to badly written science fiction and nautical attire.
· FilmStew puts on the tinfoil helmet, smelling something fishy in Steve Coogan's denial of the rumor that he knocked up Courtney Love.
· Don't fuck with Jack White, for he will not hesitate to publicly humiliate you.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com (putting “privacywatch” or “sighting” in the subject line helps make sure they don’t get lost in our inbox) and let the world know that Reese Witherspoon and the color orange don't get along.

We've avoided it as long as possible, but we think it's time: Britney and Justin. (Yes, we know.) The princess of pop provoked a bar-room brawl at Bungalow 8 by flirting with one guy and then dancing with another. Britney's on a six-month career break (Thank you, Britney!) and has been spotted club hopping at Suite 16, Lotus, etc.,an early indictor, perhaps, of their impending declines. The 20-year-old "virgin" good girl has been getting down, tossing 'em back and lighting up. She and ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake are no longer together because he "doesn't trust her." On the readiest available alternative, Justin comments: "I'm not a huge fan of [masturbation.] I mean, it is what it is, a safe haven, there when you need it, and I don't feel guilty about it. But I always like to do everything at its best, and that just seems like settling, doesn't it?"
Britney starts fight [People News]
Justin time [Salon]

· Liza downs three glasses of scotch, bursts into tears, at an Upper East Side restaurant. [Page Six] ¹
· Graydon's publicist swears he'd never use the word "cock." [Page Six]
· NY Sun crime reporter (ironically) charged with arson. [Page Six]
· Ms.-hell-on-wheels, Lizzie Grubman, and anger management vet, Naomi Campbell, join forces. [Page Six]
· Groton school headmaster replaced after failure to deal with sex scandal. [Page Six]
· Justin Timberlake seen sharing a joint at Lotus with his mother [Page Six] ²
· Weinstein pal Liz Smith, not surprisingly, refers to Miramax production, Chicago, as "sensational." [Page Six] ³
· Liz says Chicago will go down as "one of filmdom's great musicals." [Page Six] ⁴
· Liz says she "can't imagine Chicago won't be a smash and bring in Oscar nods for Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress...and Supporting Actress..." [Page Six] ⁵
· Brad Pitt considered "an insult to Asians" and Buckingham palace notes that Prince Harry looks more like the proverbial milkman than Prince Charles. [NY Daily News]