Only the very oddest assortment of people showed up to celebrate the opening of Justin Timberlake's BBQ joint last night. It leaves us confused. Seth Green. The Reverend Al Sharpton. Jamie-Lynn Sigler arriving with Lance Bass? How can we even parse that? (She is heretofore known as Chief Hag.) And Jay Z (who "ran IN and OUT without stopping a second for anyone" according to an attendee). Says another crasher: "Everyone coming out was saying: 'Two words: Dirty Ketchup.'" Is David Lynch a busboy there? [Photo: Splash]

A slew of BBQ joints are opening up presently and, within this trend is a smaller trendlet. That trendlet is "Guys who look like Justin Timberlake opening BBQ joints, at least one of whom is Justin Timberlake." Look for it in the Sunday Styles soon enough. The most visible example of this trend is Justin Timberlake, former Spear and Diaz flame who is opening Southern Hospitality BBQ tomorrow night (friends and family tonight). But the second instance that really cements the veracity of the trend is Alan Natkiel, a New England-born Georgia-raised grill master who will open Georgia's Eastside BBQ at 192 Orchard Street tomorrow as well. The two are blatantly in competition with each other and the only way to settle it, that we can see anyway, is a nude grill-off. Ooh, hot, steamy, singed nubbins!

· The man who gave us Jar Jar Binks (and who glued two hair-danishes to Carrie Fisher's head and gave Hayden Christensen a career) knows a "silly" movie when he sees one.
· We're stunned that yesterday's Hasselhoff parody video is placing a weak eighth on the Hoff Viral Video charts. And this mash-up is still too new to chart, but we think it's a comer.
· Rub a 20-year-old lamp and a studio genie will bring you $1.6 million.
· Hamas decides there's a better way to call for an Islamist liberation of Jerusalem than through a Militant Mickey Mouse character.
· Please pardon us for a minute, but: OMG OMG! Cameron TOTALLY KISSED JUSTIN! OMGOMGgonnadie! There, now that's out of our system.

This week's Time features the fourth annual installment of THE TIME 100: The Most Influential People In The World! It's a pretty thick issue, which is all the more remarkable given the crappy paper stock the magazine uses. Anyway, who are the folks Time's editors think are "transforming our world"? Well, Justin Timberlake makes the cut, as do Angelina Jolie (as an activist, not an entertainer), Kate Moss, and the chick from "Ugly Betty." Time M.E. Rick Stengel reminds us that "the real magic of the Time 100 is in the pairings. We match author to subject so the former can offer special insight on the latter." There's certainly special insight in Donald Trump's appreciation of subway hero Wesley Autrey.

• These days, everyone keeps methadone in the fridge! [TMZ]
  

[Video removed from CollegeHumor]

Because no end to the regular comingling of celebrity fluids is final without the issuance of a joint statement announcing their amicable goodbyes, we bring to you the official, publicist-assisted obituary of Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, R.I.P.:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in at least as often as you eat. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about how you ran into Michael Chiklis at your annual mammogram.

Justin Timberlake has had a busy year, having successfully campaigned on behalf of the return of sexy after it suffered a series of sexy-rights abuses during its internment at the Guantànamo Bay detainment camp, and more recently focusing his attentions on the creative wrapping of his genitals. Sadly, however, there were no bow-adorned penile presents under the tree for Timberlake's longtime girlfriend Cameron Diaz this Christmas, according to a report from Star magazine:

Today, we bid a tentative farewell to longtime couple Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, who, according to Star (not online, via Dlisted), have called it quits. Perhaps a diamond ring or a house in the hills would have gone over better after all.

• Nick and Vanessa believe the camera will steal their soul. [Page Six]
  

• George Michael gets so stoned that he stops his car in the middle of a North London intersection and slumps over. This, alas, leads to his arrest. Poor dude's just chilling a little bit, thinking about McDonald's...what's the big deal, man? [AP]
• After realizing that baring her breasts is not enough to sell albums, Janet Jackson considers a reunion with Justin Timberlake for a "big, live show." Because if Timberlake bares her breasts for her, then she'll taste success. [Page Six]
• Robin Williams: in and out of rehab before you even knew he was gone. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Martha Stewart has a torn hip muscle. It's not the proverbial broken hip, but any injury in that area signifies the beginning of senility. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Katie Holmes starves herself until she's thin. At least she's starting to behave like a normal starlet again. [Scoop]
• The 25-room Guccione mansion is going for $5 million dollars? That's a helluva price cut, or a helluva gaffe. [Page Six]
• When Aaron Nick (does it make a difference, really?) Carter learned that Paris Hilton was cheating on him with Chad Michael Murray, he beat the crap out of her. Then he went and hooked up with Ashlee Simpson. [Us Weekly]

• Justin Timberlake Smells Like Teen Spirit House of Blues [YouTube via Stereogum]

• Kevin Federline to appear on C.S.I. Somehow the idea of Federline as a suspected murderer just doesn't mesh with the whole wife beater, no job, Kid Rock wannabe thing. WTF? [AOL]
• Tom Cruise in talks with Yahoo! to take his crazy wireless. [Liz Smith]
• Justin Timberlake visits sick kids in hospital, rocks their sick little bodies. [Lowdown, 3rd item]
• Kimora Lee Simmons turned away from night club, marriage, for being too ghetto. [R&M]
• Tori Spelling's new husband does not like her cats. Spelling insists there is no other way to be crazy, forgotten, washed-up celebrity now known as "that old crazy cat lady I think was on TV once, who lives in the spooky old house on the hill." [Page Six]

Every so often comes an interview in which a celebrity manages to shake himself from his censorial bridle gear, and run wild with the "controversial" semi-thoughts ricocheting ever so slowly through his head like video Pong balls. Such was the case with Justin Timberlake's recent taunts of Soul Patrol messiah Taylor Hicks, a PR fire that Timberlake's flack, Little Ken Sunshine, would later feebly attempt to extinguish:

Perhaps you've recently had the opportunity to sample the new Justin Timberlake single as it thumped out of an H3 idling nearby—a C+C Music Factory-inspired slice of suckiness entitled "SexyBack." You'll be hearing a lot more from Timberlake as we near the September 12 release date of his not-at-all pretentiously titled record, "FutureSex/LoveSounds," such as a recent interview with Vanity Fair in which he shared some uncensored thoughts on American Idol winner Taylor Hicks:

Because we realize that a "Lindsay Lohan falling head-first down the stairs of the Chateau" spotting can only be fully enjoyed when served at its peak freshness, we are now committed to publishing reader-submitted PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings several times a week. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Keanu Reeves and Tate Donovan on a double date at the Hollywood Bowl.

• By pursuing a libel case agains the National Enquirer in UK courts, Britney Spears wins over the tab's claim that she and Kevin Federline are splitting. The British and Irish editions will print a rare apology, which is all fine and good — but why the hell hasn't she sued Bazaar over that frightening cover shoot? [R&M (last item)]
• Aspiring pop singer and experienced Lolita Diana Bianchi can't carry a tune. God thing she still has a future serving as some sort of twat. [Lowdown]
• Justin Timberlake tries to convince the world he's not a pussy by proclaiming that he's "done way too many drugs." [Spin]
• Film critic Joel Siegel walks out of a screening of Clerks II, deeming it smut. The scene that set him off involved a discussion of a woman performing sexual acts on a donkey, which obviously brings up a lot of painful memories for Siegel. [Page Six]
• E! censors Voice gossip Michael Musto when he appears on The Simple Life to interview Paris Hilton. The offending phrase: "Are you a fag hag?" Apparently network execs didn't want anyone to even raise the issue of Hilton's hagginess. [Page Six]
• John Cusack scores a restraining order against his stalker who, we'll have you know, does not appear to have used the Stalker Map to harm Lloyd Dobler. [Reuters]

• Axl Rose has been released from a Stockholm jail, where he was held after biting a security guard on the leg. Tommy Hilfiger got off easy, it would seem. NB to the unlucky victim: you might want to make sure your rabies vaccinations are up to date. [Page Six]
• Now that her stroll towards unemployment has become a quickly finished race, Star Jones is taping House Hunters NYC. It's a long fall down, isn't it? [Lowdown (bottom)]
• Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake are still together, having just gotten past a "rough patch." Now they're back to bonding in matching sweats, a surefire way to keep any relationship exciting. [Us Weekly]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban honeymoon in Bora Bora, enjoying a $15K/night bungalow over the water. Sonja the security guard is also enjoying the vacation, protecting the couple from any of the island's over-aggressive flora and fauna. [IMDb]
• Tori Spelling takes her good, sweet time getting to her father's deathbed. [Page Six]
• Tired of Bahrain, Michael Jackson continues taking his traveling freakshow to France. [R&M]

• Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz may be completely done, though the couple is reportedly keeping the news under wraps. Better to let the press focus on Diaz's rumored nose job, right? [Janet Charlton]
• Stanley Tucci repeatedly elbows and smacks Anne Hathaway's breasts, explaining that he can't help it because she's "flinging those melons around like it's harvest season." Sexual harrassers in offices everywhere now have a new defense. [Page Six]
• Is Meredith Vieira stealing humorous small talk from, of all pathetic things, Pepper Dennis plotlines? [Lowdown (3rd item)]
• Director Robert Altman would like to introduce you to his friend, Bongjohn Silver. [R&M]
• Crisis abroad: Courtney Love to appear in West End "classic." [Fox411]
• Phil Collins is doing WCBS anchor Dana Tyler. Why do we care? Because if we can't get "Su Su Sudio" out of our heads, then you're going to suffer with us. [Page Six]