Although we did recently declare a temporary moratorium on burger phone jokes, it is worth noting that a blogger who goes by the handle of Big Ross recently got his hands on a copy of Diablo Cody's first post-Juno script, entitled Jennifer's Body. Megan Fox (Transformers) and director Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux) are attached to the horror/thriller about a cheerleader who somehow becomes possessed by a demonic spirt which compels her to start offing all of the dudes at her high school. And while we haven't actually seen the script ourselves, from what Big Ross describes, we feel pretty safe declaring that Diablo's streak of consecutive Oscar nominations will come to an end at one.

Although Juno's biggest B.O. weekends appear to be in the rearview mirror, that doesn't mean that America's appetite for all things Juno has fully subsided. In addition to the soundtrack's strong performance (currently #2 on the Billboard charts), there appears to be overwhelming demand on the black markets for Hamburger Phones! Or, rather, overwhelming supply. There are currently over 50 listings on eBay for hamburger phones, some of which utilize a hand-crafted MS Paint montage that includes Diablo "Call Me Brook" Cody's now-famous shot of her talking on her very own Hamburger Phone. With that in mind, we're using all of the money in the Defamer piggy bank to corner the market on orange Tic-Tacs. You know, just in case the Juno ancillary markets continue to grow. [Pop Candy]

"I heard that films are structured around the male orgasm, the way they climax. Though, if it were modeled on the male orgasm, it would just immediately cut to black." Hamburger Phone enthusiast turned stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter turned Oscar Nominee turned aspiring standup comedienne Diablo Cody, from an interview with the Times Of London [Page Six]

· Please believe us when we say that we're not regular viewers of Deal Or No Deal. That said, dig (if you will) the ridiculous gamesmanship on display between The Dealer and the retired New York City garbage (gahbage!) man who dared take him on. Fugghedaboutit!
· Rupert Murdoch's internet browsing history ... REVEALED! Take it with a grain of salt, though, `cause we're pretty sure he doesn't use a Mac.
· We think that Keira Knightley's chin got totally robbed, too!
· We're calling BS on the rumours that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds got engaged.
· And, in case you missed it, Stereogum grabbed some viddy of The Moldy Peaches performing their surprise hit from Juno, "Anyone Else But You", on The View yesterday.

Still reeling from the Kathy Batesiest nominations announcement ever, we're left entirely encouraged that the 80th annual Academy Awards brings with it a Best Picture race containing at least two extremely worthwhile nominees. (We realize we're supposed to be impartial observers, but...No Country for everything! Included Best Animated Short and the Irving G. Thalberg!). But enough about us—this is the nominees' morning! It's time for a reactions round-up:
· Michael Moore: "If I'm fortunate enough to stand on that stage again, I will be true to myself and very gracious and grateful for the acknowledgement, but I would start by finishing the last 10 seconds of the previous speech." [Variety]
· Tom Wilkinson: "I had forgotten about the nominations and was walking the dog. Then someone told me to turn on the TV and I saw it. I got this character from the start." [Variety]

When it comes to the Juno debate—poignantly picaresque comedy from the former-stripper Voice of our Generation vs. wildly overrated entertainment calculated to pull the heartstrings of its This American Life-listening target audience—we're afraid to admit we bend towards the latter. We appear to be outnumbered, however, as despite its Golden Globes shut-out, Juno continues to enjoy its surprise hit™ status, and is on track towards netting its scalding-hot screenwriter Diablo "Not Her Real Name" Cody a Best Original Screenplay trophy at this year's Academy Awards.

As it turns out, the concerns of competing studios that Warner Bros. might have been a little too generous in its Sunday night box office estimate in an attempt to push I Am Legend into second place have been proven valid: following Monday's release of the final numbers, Juno is now officially the Second Highest Grossing Movie in America for the first weekend of January. (Given the current atmosphere of strike-induced belt-tightening, we doubt Fox Searchlight is celebrating the position-shift with a champagne toast, a confetti shower, and the festive dropping of balloons from their conference room ceiling.) Despite this disappointment, there is at least some comfort for Warners in the ultimate figures, as Legend still managed to avoid the indignity of sliding down behind Alvin and the Chipmunks after the correction of their box office exuberance. [Variety, BOM]

With Father Time currently in lockdown after being picked up over the weekend for a parole-violating DUI, and the tragic discovery of the New Year's baby in a dumpster behind Bar Lubitsch (besides a crushed top hat and filthy sash, doing just fine), it seems as if the countdown to 2008 comes under less than ideal circumstances. Still, you can't stop the march of progress, and nowhere is that more apparent than in the weekend box office numbers:

My mom just called and said I needed to check out a blog called The Pussy Ranch. That totally freaked me out because well... *shakes head* *shivers* *begins to speak* *shivers*. But Marcia quickly explained to me the Pussy Ranch is really just the blog of Diablo Cody, not a vag-splashing site (her words not mine). Ms. Cody not only wrote the screenplay for Juno but is now apparently our penpal. ("She is a role model of how to respond to criticism" says Emily.) Anyway! Her blog is pretty wonderful and her listed interests include "cock-gobbling" and her favorite movie is "Thank You for Smoking Cock." [The Pussy Ranch]

An interesting debate has erupted over at our East Coasted sibling site Gawker over the relative merits of Juno, the hippest, sassiest, teen-pregnanciest movie ever! While we don't get it at all—it was twice as adorable as Little Miss Sunshine, at least—you still may want to take a look. And for counterpoint, we offer director Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody, providing commentary over a scene that helps you understand why it all works so well. [Gawker, Slashfilm]

When Juno, the 16-year-old heroine of the movie being marketed hardest to my generation this holiday season, tells her best friend she's pregnant, the friend's first reaction is, "Honest to blog?" CLUNK. But in spite of being forewarned about that line in the movie's ubiquitous T.V. spots, and in spite of David Denby's New Yorker rave—"Juno is a coming-of-age movie made with idiosyncratic charm and not a single false note"—I still held out high hopes for alternastripper memoirist turned screenwriter Diablo Cody's collaboration with 'Thank You For Smoking' director Jason Reitman. But guess what? There are false notes aplenty in this trytoohardy movie. Honest to blog!

Pow! That's the sound of a pneumatic cattle bolt flying into our awards-crazy melons, officially marking the start of Oscar Season: The National Board of Review has named No Country for Old Men their best film of 2007. Other big wins: George Clooney for best actor in Michael Clayton, Tim Burton for best director for Sweeney Todd, and Emile Hirsch and Ellen Page won breakthrough performances for Into the Wild and Juno, respectively. [Reuters]

· The Writers' Guild of Great Britain says they're in solidarity with the WGA, and is planning to stage an awards ceremony on Sunday to remind the world that scribes are to be cherished and celebrated, not placed in front of studio gates for SUV target practice. [Variety]
· This year's Oscar contenders display a "bleak, even nihilistic worldview," a largely coincidental development as all were put into production long before Hollywood's collective spirits were darkened by the ongoing labor Armageddon. Should the strike drag on into February, look for replacement host Ryan Seacrest to provide an appropriately somber tone to the proceedings. [THR]
· The Pinkett-Smith family is getting together to make the drama The Human Contract, a film Jada is directing and writing and Will is executive producing. No role is specified for precocious son Jaden, though he may eventually be awarded an associate producer credit for secretly punching up the script during trips to the set with mom and dad. [ Variety]

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