Today in his Huffington Post column, Alec Baldwin delivered an important lecture about how to practice good, proper journalism. First lesson: Don't mess with Alec Baldwin.

In his very first press conference, Barack Obama called the question of a presidential puppy a "major issue." He was joking, but today on the cable news nets, they were just making jokes of themselves.

Just when you think it can't get any worse in Chicago media—that's right, it gets worse! Both major papers are already bankrupt. Now the Chicago Tribune is cutting another 20% of its newsroom. Ehhhhh.

In your bone-chilling Monday media column: magazine prices going up, newspapers just giving up and letting you do it, Rahm Emanuel charms reporters, and big Hollywood tragedy!

Howard Kurtz scolds Politico this morning for spinning stupid bullshit "stories" into Drudgebait, a critique we endorse. But: Physician, heal thyself.

Journalism awards positively encourage inflated claims; this is among their most pernicious effects on the trade. Judging from a San Francisco Chronicle editor's increasingly agitated emails, they also don't do much for industry collegiality.

In your finally Friday media column: the New York Times "eats crow" (funny joke LOL), the Newseum wins, ASME loses, and police charge Fox with being annoying:

Well well, a new poll of 43 of America's fanciest "Media Insiders" reveals this: two thirds(!) of them think the internet hurts journalism more than it helps. Poll time!

The fake front page story in Thursday's Los Angeles Times was a PR disaster; staffers are signing a petition calling it "embarrassing and demoralizing." Naturally, then, management is planning a sequel.

In your sad, macho Thursday media column: Boston Globe anger, broke-ass papers resign themselves to advertorial disgrace, media money evaporates, and let's all laugh at Politico:

Bow ties are so fetch, have you heard? Christina Binkley of the Wall Street Journal reports that everyone from David Beckham to the Jonas Brothers are wearing them.

There's really nothing we can think of that the LA Times would not do to make a buck, right now. They will inevitably sink ever lower! Too bad, since today's front page is verrrrrrrry low.

This memo just went out to New York Times employees from assistant managing editor Rick Berke—free lunch, if you can think of a way to save the paper some cash!

The Somali Pirate Crisis is the story of our generation! Virtually every major paper has big stories on the new American sailor heroes battling the buccaneers. Only the most interesting parts, below:

Fox News analyst Thomas McInerney bizarrely twisted today's pirate attack to cheerlead for a pricey fighter the Obama administration plans to cancel. Is that because he's been paid by a contractor on the plane?

In your swashbuckling Wednesday media column: XXL-Giant feud update, NPR infighting, nobody's scared of ASME, the Boston Globe is mad, son, and dead goats save newspapers:

Glenn Beck takes his lumps from Fox News colleagues Shep Smith and Dennis Miller, but that's OK, because the Fox & Friends crew will happily fluff his ego back into shape each morning.

If you apply for expensive training in a dying profession, why should anyone trust your abilities to collect and analyze information?

In your traditional Tuesday media column: Dan Abrams insists he's clean, the Great Magazine Die-Off continues, newspapers are not doing well, TV on the good trains, and more!

After Google bought Dodgeball from him and shut it down, New York entrepreneur Dennis Crowley knocked off his own idea to create Foursquare, a new friend-finding app. The coverage likewise feels familiar.