In your foggy Monday media column: Reporters in peril. Institutions crumbling. David Denby and Dan Abrams to the rescue!

It's Pulitzer day! Our first wild Pulitzer rumor: that the NYT won the 'Breaking News' category for its Eliot Spitzer scandal coverage (sexy!). Heard more Pulitzer rumors? Email us, or put them in the comments.

The New York Times' lead story today reports that, according to the torture memos released last Thursday, the CIA waterboarded two suspects a total of 266 times. They read about it in some blog.

When it comes to things to throw at dirty politicians, there are so many options—tomatoes, furniture, urine-filled water balloons, etc. Why not think big? Alas, India is stuck in shoe-throwing rut. Biters!

All the cable news networks seek pundits willing to act like absurd political caricatures. This keeps Comedy Central in business. But it turns out Fox News is especially dumb and obvious about the practice.

So a regular feature with TAN on the weekend will be "The Assimilator". This week we have Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes, Grifter story-breaker Doree Shafrir, and a book editor talking about: Guess Who?

Finally, some intrepid journalists have infiltrated the Somali pirates'...dusty hangout area, with video cameras! 20/20 pals around with pirates tonight, on television. Watch this clip of America's new enemy, with guns, on a little boat!

In your springy Friday media column: a maybe-savior for the Boston Globe, traumatized journalists are everywhere, Newsweek bites HuffPo, and more!

Sara Nelson, who was recently laid off as the editor of Publishers Weekly, so she's freelancing. But one mystery publication's asshole editor gave her so much trouble she outed him, blind item-style. Guess:

A 21 year-old Oakland man is pleading guilty to the murder of Oakland journalist Chauncey Bailey last August—a stupid, stupid murder that never would have happened in a just world.

So now a CNBC insider says GE overlords did not apply political pressure in a meeting with the network, as previously reported. The financial network is perfectly capable of flagellating itself.

He could blame his investment firm's failures on the economy. His wife's DWI could be covered up by media pals. But the Obama Administration's auto-bailout adviser can't hide a bribery investigation.

Us Weekly became the third magazine in a week reprimanded by the American Society of Magazine Editors for impure ads. It's as if Us, Entertainment Weekly and ESPN the Magazine don't care about purity!

In your fabulous Thursday media column: John Madden retires, newspapers just falling apart everywhere, Martha Stewart gets a fat contract, and Fiji's version of The Onion:

Top GE and NBC Universal executives called a dinner meeting with CNBC bigwigs inside 30 Rock recently. This much is agreed upon. Still unclear: Whether CNBC was pressured to bash the president less.

The New York Times finally asked Fox News, "Hey what's the deal with the constant stalky ambush interviews?" The answer was priceless.

In your overflowing Wednesday media column: Sam Zell wakes up, alt-weekly censorship, Dan Abrams commiserates, Ben Affleck says words for some reason, Ann Moore doesn't expect to live long, and PRWeek goes monthly:

Uh oh! Silicon Valley journalist Sarah Lacy laughed when Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk called a New York Times writer a "douchebag." Now the Times is in a snit and she's calling the newspaper sexist!

In your hopeful Tuesday media column: Portfolio.com hires(!) people, NYT op-ed-speak translated, Philly papers make an offer you can refuse, and journalists in peril:

What's this, the weekend magazine of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has pictured miscegenation in action, and the locals are outraged! Imagine this photo, where your kids could see. Let's explore the comments, shall we? Yes: