John Mayer thinks that Perez Hilton is just a sad man who wants to be a celebrity himself. Um. Yes. The singer/songwriter/lovemaker was on XM radio yesterday discussing fame and fortune, but did not mention the alleged Perez and John makeout session. He had a lot of other stuff to say about the rotund blogger, however. Of Perez's VH1 show he said, wisely: "I have never seen it, but that was the moment that the wall broke, and we realized that these people don't really hate celebrities, they just want to be actually in there." Fourth wall? Who the fuck is he, a Brecht scholar? This man is a genius! What else, what else!
So, uh, you know John Mayer, right? The totally dreamy, maybe a bit annoying, pop singer and adept professional celebrity who dated Jessica Simpson? Right. Well, he's gone and done what some might call "the unthinkable." He, um, made out with Perez Hilton. Shriek! The newly svelte-ish celebrity blogger, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, is dishing on his site about the night he sucked mug with John freaking Mayer and I just can't stand it. So what exactly happened here? Yes it was obviously tectonic plates shifting and odd cosmic bits of whimsy like sun spots or something, but there has to be a more terrestrial reason for all of this.
John Mayer: some of us believe the crappy emo singer and blogger should take his guitar and go play in traffic; others believe he is hot, and therefore not that bad. But one thing we can all agree on is that he should not be a sports announcer. The evidence? This minute-long clip of him, for some reason, announcing a preseason baseball game in Tokyo. Which makes about as much sense as him supporting Ron Paul. Below, the video of Mayer's analysis of all sports occurrences: "Aaaaand, that happened!"
John Mayer sat there waiting — waiting — on his iTunes to load. It never did. And like the rest of us, he had to force quit. But instead of doing so and moving on, Mayer felt compelled to write a cheery missive to the folks at Apple. "Hi guys. John Mayer here. Nothing's worse than running to stale music on your iPod, am I right?" He goes on in such a manner. We know this because Mayer posted the below screenshot of his report to his blog, fully indicating his cleverness to those paying attention. At the end of his post, Mayer wonders how Apple engineers will react to his letter. Anyone care to inform us how it was greeted at One Infinite Loop?
Nick Denton to tips@gawker.com, Subject: John Mayer, How about a herogram? The guy's pretty talented musician. Seems to be able to handle fame pretty well. Deals with paps. And still seems normal! Okay, and he's hot too, but that wasn't the reason. Anyone a fan?
No, Nick. I'm not a John Mayer fan. But I will say that John Mayer is unfairly hated on.
First John Mayer started to grow on us (a little bit) with his skills handling the TMZ paparazzi and voracious autograph seekers, then he won us over (okay, a lot) when we saw him jogging on a yacht wearing green Borat butt floss tightly wound across his nearly perfect buttocks. And now, having penned a giant Fuck You to one of his exes online, he's officially convinced us that we were correct in falling head over heels for the guy after witnessing his rendition of "Chocolate Rain" on Best Week Ever. But back to the story at hand! Earlier this week, John had the following to say to Jessica Simpson one of his anonymous ex-girlfriends:
Large-headed, sensitive singer John Mayer is blogging again. Today, he gets a little meta ("I wouldn't traditionally take to a blog to explain a blog"), trying to explain the "Dear ex lover, please stop contacting me" post that has US Weekly conducting a poll about which famous ex he's talking about: Jessica Simpson? Cameron Diaz? Oh, it was a hypothetical letter, John explains.
Ryan Phillippe is thinking of leaving L.A. He's tired of having the paparazzi following him and his family everywhere he goes. Mary-Louise Parker thinks the paparazzi culture is sick. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have opted to travel permanently rather than give the paparazzi a chance to wait outside their eco-friendly gates. But with the popularity of digital cameras and stalking celebrities, there's no escaping fame and having said fame photographed. And whiners complaining to major news outlets are complicit in a culture that has them photographed picking up trash.
Cosmopolitan honored singer/paparazzi fucker-with John Mayer as their top "Fun, Fearless Male" of the year today. Yes, he is fun in a "nice guy from your high school who became sort of an ass when he went to Hamilton and realized he could get girls" kinda way. But fearless? Upon what criteria is this most noble of titles based? Looking at some of the other honorees, it could be one simple thing: dating Jessica Simpson.
· Is it wrong to think that John Mayer is maybe, just maybe, a really funny guy at heart? Whenever he's on TMZ fucking with the papps, he makes us laugh. See you later tonight at Relapse, John! [TMZ]
· Part Two of The A.V. Club's series of essays called The New Cult Canon focuses on Morvern Callar. I thought that movie was kinda boring the first time I saw it, but now I'm going to have to revisit. [A.V. Club]
· Our all-time favorite episode of True Life is the one called "I Have A Summer Share." You know, the one that follows a slew of jabronis spending their summer on the Jersey Shore? The latest Post Show creation, Douchebag Beach, reminds us very much of that famous episode. Good stuff. [Douchebag Beach]
· The title of this article says it all — "I'm the idiot who bought an HD-DVD player: A Casualty of the Format War tells all." Another excellent piece from the multi-talented Josh Levin. [Slate]
· Lastly, the trailer for the new Mike Myers jawn, The Love Guru, debuted earlier today. Despite the appearance of a few gags that seem very similar to what we saw in the three Austin Powers films, we must say this movie actually looks promising. [/Film]
It's Fameball season. Blogger Erin Horgan is now "famous" for taking photos of John Mayer in a Borat thong. When the singer-songwriter pranced around in front of a crowd on a cruise ship wearing the neon green shoulder-strap swimsuit, totally to his surprise someone blogged it. Normally the story ends with "blogger sells photos to gossip magazine," but Horgan kept blogging about the attention her photos were getting, enough to interest the Cape Cod Times. Now getting a video interview (embedded after the jump omg click) on the windswept-white-people broadsheet's web site doesn't constitute fame, I know, but then gossip blog Just Jared ran a post made of exclamation marks about said interview, and now my editor is making me write about it here, so Erin Horgan is rolling up a little fameball.
Large-headed musician, Jessica Simpson dater, and singer of sensitive fuckjam "Your Body Is a Wonderland" John Mayer has shocked the world by taking down his blog, the Huffington Post reports. "Done & Dusted & Self-Conscious & Back to Work," the message on his site reads. We'd received tips about his blog before, including one titled "John Mayer is the douchiest foodblogger ever," due to his posting pics of yummy dishes with a copyright-protected watermark. Dude. It's just food. Looking back, what exactly did the he blog about?
"'Douchebag ' was on the vinegary tips of everyone's tongues this year. Trouble is, I'm not really clear on what it means, and I don't know that anyone does," crooner John Mayer blogged yesterday. "I know that I get called one." So does his friend Pete Wentz and a filmmaker he admires named Zach Braff. What gives? What is the "common denominator of douchiness?"
"I like hanging out with John Mayer. He's the kind of guy that captivates you with the words he uses," Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz told Page Six magazine, when asked to discuss the "coolest New Yorker" he's met.
