A writer wrote about Tiger Woods' penis! Some chick from The Bachelor totally cheated on The Bachelor! J-Lo in a catsuit! David Paterson's awesome rapper friends! Adrian Grenier isn't ugly! OR IS HE?! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Oh, George Lopez. So far under the late night radar that no one even notices when movie stars drop in. Movie stars! But drop in they did, as Jennifer Lopez tried her hand at the late night comedy shtick.

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

Jennifer Aniston takes Morocco by....storm? She's dating (or not dating) a camel. Posh Spice has bunions. Jake Gyllenhaal is special. Courtney Love's greatest hookup ever. Thanksgiving Dinner at the Waverly Inn. LiLo being LiLo. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Michael Jackson's doctor is still just as sketchy as before. Tom Cruise will raise your kids for you. Jude Law's new baby's name, rappers, witches, Heroes, Gossip Girls, and Ashton Kutcher's fake life. Presenting an epic Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

July 16 @ 4:30pm Jennifer Lopez filming a movie at Duane Park in Tribeca. An entire fake farmer's market was put up for the shoot. [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com]

Earlier this week, we claimed some moron blogger was the first racist to publicly call Sonia Sotomayor "J-Lo" for no reason other than her ethnicity. We were incorrect.

While at first blush it may seem inappropriate to compare Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor to Jennifer Lopez simply because both are Latina women from modest backgrounds, you've got hear conservative commentator Debbie Schlussel out: she's got a compelling argument for calling Sotomayor "J-Lo":

Did you know Jennifer Lopez once had a nervous breakdown? Or that she's a pretty big fan of crackpot religion Scientology? By the standards of the average modern celebrity profile—where a diarrhea story counts as a scoop—this is pretty good material. So why did it end up running today in Tina Brown's newly launched Daily Beast, instead of in a real magazine? Because a real magazine spiked it. Because they were scared of J-Lo! Sez the Beast:

There's troubling news out of Pasadena today as we're hearing Jennifer Lopez's Latin eatery Madre's is "closed until further notice." The 6-year old restaurant shuttered July 1 with little more heads-up than a sign in the window; the appliances have not yet been liquidated in exchange for a month's supply of J-Lo's preferred organic twin formula, as far as we know, so perhaps the staff just needs a summer's rest from bad tomatoes and/or Stephen Hawking's infamous, mechanized flirtations. But don't fret! Recent developments ensure easy stargazing at the Newsroom Cafe these days, and in any case, we can sympathize with La Lopez; restaurants are a tough go, and Lord knows she's got enough damn people to feed at home these days. [TMZ, Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Kate Moss stormed out of a party at Milk Studios in Chelsea because they wouldn't let her bring three friends into the bathroom, citing a "strict one-person-at-a-time policy." [P6]

WARNING: An unauthorized butt enhancer may be on the loose in Manhattan. The Post breaks an EXCLUSIVE story this morning about Kimberly Smedley, a wanton, unauthorized woman with no medical training who offers black market silicone injections out of an East 39th St. hotel. For $1,600, Smedley promises women "J.Lo butts." But if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

The date: October 9, 2007
The place: 43rd and Broadway
Sighted: "Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony came out of the elevators as I was walking through my lobby this morning. She looked gorgeous and was dressed in quite a baggy shirt... hmmm. And Skeletor was... well... skeletal."

• John Mayer is a badass alternative rebel. "On Tuesday, he stayed true to his laid-back stance and popped open two top buttons on his shirt. The message to fashion observers? 'This says, I'll play your game only so far,' he quipped." [WWD]
  

• Though Lindsay Lohan and director Brett Ratner are "just friends," the 19-year-old starlet flipped when she found him in bed with his girlfriend, Alina Puscau. If we saw Ratner in a lusty state of undress, we'd lose our shit, too. [Page Six]
• Rush Limbaugh turns himself in on prescription drug charges and is released an hour later on $3,000 bail. Surely that harrowing experience has taught him a lesson. [TMZ]
• At the Capitol File party following the White House Correspondents Dinner, rapper Ludacris and Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia talk about music. As expected, Scalia loves Word of Mouf. [Lowdown]
• Feeling that perhaps Dallas wasn't the best career move, J.Lo drops ICM agent Ed Limato in favor of William Morris' Dave Wirtschafter. If Wirtschafter talks shit about her in a major magazine, it can only help her career. [Page Six]
• Broadway producers Fran and Barry Weissler pinch-pennies, lose surefire hit production because of thrifty hotel choice. [R&M]
• Rupert Murdoch refuses to give Daily News gossip Ben Widdicombe any marriage tips. The much-younger, Asian wife speaks for herself. [Gatecrasher (2nd item)]