In an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Wednesday, Donald Trump said he’d be willing to debate Bernie Sanders. “Game on,” read a tweet sent from Sanders’ Twitter account shortly thereafter.

Mitt Romney is really doing this, I guess. And it’s all for nothing. Sad!

Full House, the television show you only watched because there were no cartoons on and only miss because you haven’t seen it in 20 years, is coming to Netflix, sex-haver John Stamos announced tonight on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

When a video of Dennis Quaid exploding in anger at "dopey the dick" and a bunch of "pussies" on a TV set surfaced yesterday, many immediately suspected Jimmy Kimmel was involved. The theory makes sense—Quaid's rant arrived shortly after his brother's bizarre sex tapes , making him the perfect candidate to stage something like this, and it sounds a lot like the infamous temper tantrum Christian Bale threw at a director of photography years ago.

Dicks: Many of us have them, and sometimes they get messed up. In such cases, we can only hope that any necessary procedure is quick, painless and—most importantly—singular. According to Jimmy Kimmel, his messed up dick surgery was none of those things.

President Obama spoke out against the police shooting last night in Ferguson and read some Meh Tweets about himself in an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live Thursday.

Last night was the Super Bowl, I guess. I heard something about a shark and stopped asking questions. But then today I was reading some celebrity gossip blogs and one of my favorite bloggers noted that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon spent the Super Bowl together... at Jimmy Kimmel's house? With... Grantland editor Bill Simmons?!? And the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, one of whom tweeted the below picture, which is what I imagine the scene at the gates of Hell to look like?

Ahead of yesterday's Ohio State victory over Oregon in the college football national championship game, an unusually floppy-haired Jimmy Kimmel rolled out a special edition of Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, featuring ESPN broadcasters and college coaches. Some of them are better at reading than others.

Jimmy Kimmel happens to be neighbors with Emily Blunt and John Krasinski, and he's been in an ongoing Christmas prank war with the couple since they got married a few years back. Last year, Kimmel covered their entire house in wrapping paper and littered their walk with reindeer shit, so it was incumbent upon them, according to the doctrine of mutually assured holiday destruction, to hit back even harder.

Jimmy Kimmel, the bro community's leading social scientist, continued his ongoing project of fucking with strangers on Hollywood Boulevard this week. But instead of using his favorite bait (blatant lies), this time he tried to lure them in with free leftover sushi.

The Killers recruited Jimmy Kimmel to help write their annual Christmas song, and it wasn't as huge a mistake as it could have been. After a lot of dicking around in Christmas sweaters, they finally arrived at "Joel the Lump of Coal."

Jennifer Aniston, delightful secret genius, is promoting Horrible Bosses 2 at the same time that Lisa Kudrow is making her comeback in The Comeback. Jimmy Kimmel spotted a chance to get the two Friends back together (again) and have them sling the foulest curse words they could think of.

In the proud artistic tradition of Kim Kardashian shitting hot ass diarrhea from a Keurig machine, here is Kim Kardashian shitting cold ass snow from a snowblower.

Jimmy Kimmel is back with the eighth(!) edition of Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, which should be getting really old by now, but instead just keeps getting better. People on Twitter (or Kimmel's writing staff?) are seriously on point with their celebrity slams this time out.

If anyone could save a Lifetime movie about Grumpy Cat—who is not a character with a personality, just a normal cat whose charm can be experienced in full through a still JPG—it would be delightful permanent eyeroll Aubrey Plaza, right? Aubrey Plaza definitely thinks so, not sarcastically.

Christoph Waltz, best known as "the Jew Hunter" in Inglourious Basterds, is perhaps not the first person who comes to mind when you think of grown-ups who love Sesame Street. There's quite some dissonance between the serious Austrian actor and sunny days and/or everything being A-OK. So you'd be surprised how chipper his version of the show's classic theme song is.

Last night, Jimmy Kimmel continued his annual tradition of ripping families apart by asking parents, for the fourth year in a row, to tell their kids they ate all the Halloween candy. The results range from wounded tears to straight-up post-Halloween sugar tantrums to being surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

Ever since TV meteorologists gained the power to draw on their digital maps, they've been inadvertently—and sometimes intentionally—drawing dicks. Jimmy Kimmel finally caught onto this long-running phenomenon and assigned a staffer to cover the rapidly expanding weatherdick beat.

Who is Joe Biden (other than the hardest-partying vice president in U.S. history, that is)? When a visit from the VP interfered with traffic near Jimmy Kimmel's studio, he sent a reporter out to Hollywood Boulevard to find out what Americans really know about this Biden character.

Like he did with Coachellea and fake band names, Jimmy Kimmel sent "Lie Witness News" team to New York's Lincoln Center as Fashion Week wraps to dupe aspiring fashion know-it-alls into saying they like designers that are actually just pop culture figures (Betsy Ross, Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia). "Chandler Bing, I have heard of," one insists. Have you?