Keanu Reeves gave an official response to the "Sad Keanu meme" on the BBC: "I mean, do I wish I didn't get my picture taken while I was eating sandwich on the streets of New York? Yeah."

You may not know that actress, food blogger, and all-around awesome lady Debi Mazar is hosting a new show on the Cooking Channel called Extra Virgin. To celebrate the launch, she taught me how to make pancakes!

As every college student knows, there is almost nothing funnier than watching a person try to narrate her acid trips. Especially when that person is a housewife in the year 1956. As she says, "I can see all the molecules!"

I suppose all of Taylor Swift's songs are inherently creepy—due to their lovesick desperation—but this cover version of "You Belong With Me" by New York-based actress/comedienne Erin Markey takes it to a whole new (and surprisingly entertaining!) level.

Want to catch up on the week's most popular web videos? From a girl who falls into a mall fountain while texting to the man who quit his job to start a city for cats, our top picks inside.

Here in bleakest winter it's nice to have things to look forward to. Like movies! Let's take a look at what movies are coming out today, from green hornets to adultery dilemmas to Thai martial artists.

On today's Oprah Winfrey Show, she and financial powerhouse Suze Orman performed a financial—and psychological—intervention on "Octomom" Nadya Suleman. The best part of the show, however, involved awkward lesbian jokes related to Suleman's addiction to approval from women.

Thanks for participating, Kelsey Hawkes, but another ex-girlfriend of Tucson shooter Jared Loughner, Ashley Figueroa, has emerged on television. Figueroa also dated Loughner in high school, and she brings the dirt: "I think he's faking everything."

Child abuse infomercial Toddlers & Tiaras has outdone last week's episode—which featured a 2-year-old in a cone bra—by finding a pageant mom to force her screaming, begging, and crying 5-year-old to get her eyebrows waxed on television.

Scientist Sook Shin had two years of prostate cancer research on her laptop when she and her husband stopped at a local Panera for dinner in Oklahoma City. The computer was stolen, and now prostate cancer will never be cured.

After Camille's big reveal about their divorce on last night's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, viewers collectively cringed when David Letterman asked (as only he would) "I'm under the impression that your marriage is ending. Is that a fact?"

Roseanne appeared on Chelsea Lately last night to promote her new book, Roseannarchy. Here, she and Chelsea discuss the difficulties of writing as a comedian, the joys of drunk-dialing, and the necessity of having a "prescription for marijuana."

Unsurprisingly, as she is the world's most perfect person, Gwyneth Paltrow really gets how hard it is to be a working parent. Luckily she's decided to document a typical mothering day in her newsletter Goop, for our benefit.

After we published photos of his old house—and he gave Oprah a tour—Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg moved out, relocating to a new security camera-studded home a few blocks away. Now his neighbors are gossiping—and they've sent us pictures.

After Chris Brown called Raz B a "butplugged" "homothug," Raz's brother Ricky Romance threatened Chris with murder. Now Ricky's burying the hatchet, and his Jabberwock-like apology—featuring words like "fallaciloquences," "eclaircise," and "humgruffin"—is a work of art.

Martha Stewart has a human skull in her kitchen. No, really! Watch this video. And then ask yourself: Why? And: Is it real? And: If it is real, whose skull is it? Update: Mystery solved!

Here is video proof Sarah Palin must have an army of trained monkey interns working day and night moderating her official Facebook page. Watch with amazement how rapidly comments are being wiped from the page in realtime.

Doing publicity for Snooki is a pretty straightforward. You put her in a vaguely inappropriate context, aim a camera at her, then wait for media outlets to stumble into your trap. Example: Snooki making over an 11-year-old.

Last night, golden-voiced Ted Williams was picked up (and released) by the LAPD after an altercation with his daughter. In an interview with ET tonight, Williams claimed innocence/said it was his daughter who got violent. Shocker: she disagrees! Watch inside.

Armond White, the film critic for the New York Press and chair of this year's New York Film Critics Circle Awards, kept insulting everybody at last night's award ceremony, prompting Annette Bening to issue a teary-eyed appeal for peace.