Despite the annoying "Betty White to Host..." Facebook groups following her SNL appearance, overkill is a word that shan't apply to her. Tonight, White chatted it up with Jay Leno about Jay-Z's inappropriate touching, SNL, Liberace and more. Videos inside.

Here's one tangible upside to society's dysfunctional love affair with Facebook: The social network has so much information on people's moods and activities that it can now predict how you'll feel after you do something.

Miley Cyrus gave a 44-year-old gay director a lap dance. Isaac Mizrahi grabbed Scarlett Johansson's boob. Gay men and straight girls: Keep stray hands, butts, and body parts to yourselves. Just because there's no sexual tension doesn't mean it's OK.

Former First Lady Laura "American Wife" Bush was promoting her book on Larry King's basement radio program last night and confessed to supporting choice and, sheepishly, gay marriage. She disagreed with George on these points, but they never fought. Aw.

Celebrity robbery is a status symbol, but actress Amanda Peet isn't famous enough to fall victim to it, according to a juror who acquitted her accused robber yesterday: "We didn't really consider her a Nicole Kidman or anything like that."

A British fashion magazine has reportedly dubbed its iPad issue "the Iran edition" due to the requirement to remove nipples and other body parts to get content on Apple's tablet computer. Call this the "Apple chilling effect."

If you haven't seen this on Twitter already, here is an awesome chart someone made breaking down all the things Lady G lusts after in the lyrics for her song "Bad Romance." But how to explain "Roma-Romama?"

A trio of opera-related weddings presents a tantalizing pattern for our Phyllis Nefler, our resident weddings numerologist and all-around expert. What universal truths will she find in today's New York Times wedding announcements? Read on.

Sunday is Mother's Day, guys. Did you forget?? Well don't worry, you still have two more days to get something nice for the lady what made you. Here are our guaranteed-to-please gift ideas.

There is a certain kind of child who always has sticky red popsicle slush dribbling down his chin. Everyone blames farts and lice outbreaks on him. How did ex-certified hottie Jessica Simpson become Hollywood's version of that kid?

The riot-inducing tween sensation seems to be taking over the world. If there's one thing the olds don't understand about the singer it's his silly haircut. But it may be the perfect 'do for right now.

Kim Kardashian sat at Fox News' table at last weekend's White House Correspondent's dinner. Why? She tells über-conservative CNS News it's because Fox is "very reputable" and the network of choice for the Kardashian klan. CNN loses again! Video inside.

Remember eBay's auction of five years of Madonna diaries, supposedly from an ex-assistant's storage unit? Madge's claque got eBay to yank "Madonna's Personal Daily Journals" on the grounds that "they were the rightful owners." Good thing we saved the listing!

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller deny they're divorcing, even as they live apart following Sheen's domestic assault arrest, two stints in rehab, and rumors of call girl trysts. We have a copy of the couple's prenup and a possible explanation.

Like Hamlet and Maury, Gossip Girl is often about paternity. Is he my father? Is he not my father? Is my new dad poisoning my mother? Who's your daddy? So many important questions, so few DNA tests.

Yay Virginia! They love the Confederacy, and hate boobs. Well, they love boobs, just not official boobs. The state's easily grossed-out attorney general, Ken Cuccinelli, recently covered up a boob on the state seal in the name of "virtue."

Old people: Will we ever get tired of making fun of them? No! But today we learn of a geriatric nuptial that's enough to make us want to volunteer at a nursing home. Our wedding expert, Phyllis Neffler, reports.

Three days ago, a widely-reported story emerged that Michael Lohan had posted to Twitter that Lindsay was HIV-positive. Michael said it was a hacker. Lindsay said it was her dad. Nobody realized that the hack itself was a fake.

A Tennessee jury convicted David Kernell, 20, the kid who hacked into Sarah Palin's email account in 2008, of computer fraud and obstruction of justice. Palin, modest and magnanimous as ever, compared the case to Watergate in a Facebook message.

We called country singer Shelby Lynne's publicist to ask whether her client will announce her gayness the cover of People on May 5. "I don't have any information on that." How can a publicist not know the answer to that?